You're Doing It Wrong

I finally found a bathing suit. I haven’t bought one in 2 years and finding the one I bought 2 years ago was an ordeal, too. Can’t there be 2 piece bathing suits that offer ample coverage of all the parts I’d like covered? Are the choices, skimpy nothing or massive coverage? I gave up the notion that I would choose a color or design that I liked a long time ago. Also price doesn’t matter. Just finding something that fits. I’ve already looked a few times earlier in the summer without success so this was the desperation trip. I would have settled for anything if I had to. Of course this is the PAC NW so bathing suit season is only about 10 weeks so not like they have that much to begin with.

I checked the clearance rack at M&F in Vancouver and tried on everything in my size — my size varies so amazingly depending on what I’m buying and where I shop — clothing industry: PLEASE STANDARDIZE. Struck out there so headed to Nordstrom which also had a dismal selection. The nice young lady asked if I needed help and I said, “I want a 2-piece bathing suit that covers my ass crack and supports my breasts.”

“Yeah,” she said and nodded, agreeing that such a beast would be a nice thing to find. Unfortunately, hardly anyone makes bathing suits with underwires. Earlier this year I was told that hardly anyone was making bathing suits with high waists. She had ONE style with underwires and there was ONE piece in my size and the bottoms had a nice high waist and there was ONE piece in my size. And the color was decent. So hallelujah, I have something to wear to the river and I don’t have to worry about buying another bathing suit for awhile.

Later we went to see The Manchurian Candidate which I cannot recommend. The run time is just over two hours and it felt like longer. The acting is good and the story is somewhat compelling. It just went on and on and layer upon layer of intrigue and secret this and undercover that – it didn’t hold my interest. I have Love Actually from Netflix and way back last year when we saw the trailer Bob moaned and groaned about how dreadful it looked. I’m thinking he should have to sit through it with me for pay back. (Except that his moaning and groaning would detract from my enjoyment.) There was a trailer for Alexander (Oliver Stone) with Colin Farrell as Alexander. I loved The Persian Boy by Mary Renault when I read it a few years ago but how can I look at Farrell in that Bon Jovi hair and not want to laugh? Did NO ONE on the set see that and think maybe his look should be re-thought?

Today I’m going to rearrange the furniture in my room. When I got the computer cart I stuck in the only place it would fit which means now my back is to the door and I don’t like that. Not sure how I’m going to do this. Maybe I’ll take before and after photos.

I was going to write about seeing Chronicles of Riddick on Saturday but maybe later.

It’s like the Universe sat down and made a list of a zillion wildly frustrating problems for me and decided to throw them all at me now. I have this stupid disputed charge on my health insurance and I just noticed an unauthorized charge on our visa bill and the whole thing-that-happened-over the weekend debacle. I don’t understand why this is all happening right now.

Things you can do on Sunday when you aren’t working your ass off on a terrible screenplay: sleep in, start reading The True History of the Kelly Gang by Peter Carey that you got for xmas, and read a story called “Winky” in a collection by George Saunders called Pastoralia. Do the reading before you even get out of bed. Go to the Heathman in Vancouver for breakfast, read 3 back Sunday New York Times plus today’s Times and Oregonian. Work in the garden including cleaning up the Dahlias that the storm knocked down. Wash the sheets, vacuum and dust. Start watching a movie called S.W.A.T. with Colin Farrell because you had it mixed up with The Recruit with Colin Farrell. Quit the movie after 15 minutes because it’s dreadful and start Army of Darkness because it’s Sam Raimi and it’s the director’s cut but give up after about 30 minutes because you aren’t into the camp today. Check the live feeds at the Big Brother house almost every hour. Review the problem with your health insurance (crooks! Possibly more on this story later) and then stop after becoming totally agitated. Start to clean up the pile of pages from the screenplay and consider recycling them all (violently) then reconsidering and putting in a pile in a box in the garage in the off chance that you will feel like looking at it again after the sting wears off. Clean out the refrigerator, cook beets from the garden and enjoy kitchen time as soon as you’re done updating your blog.

Check out the Run Hit Wonder photos.

We had a fantastic time. The band we wanted to see most was General Public (this is Dave’s website and the intro thing is great — check it out) and that was the first band on the route and we ended up parking there until they stopped playing. Fantastic show — they sounded great, Dave looks great and was totally into it, and they played all the classics including English Beat. We heard: Tenderness, I Confess, Save it for Later, Mirror in the Bathroom, Tears of a Clown … it was SO good. But by the time that was over and we continued through the course we ended up missing Flock of Seagulls and the beginning of Devo’s set. Tone Loc, Tommy Tutone and Dramarama were on the 10K so we didn’t see them at all. Devo rocked too — I think I saw them back in the day. I can’t remember but I don’t remember them being so kick ass.

So here’s the Tommy Tutone story and I might have already told it once. Tommy Tutone played at Grad Night when I graduated from high school — that’s when Disneyland is open all night for graduates. We went to see him and for whatever reason the officials wanted us to stay in our seats. If we stood up to dance they ran over and made us sit down. This guy in our class, Carl, kept dancing and he got thrown in the Disneyland jail with all the ruffians busted with drugs and some guy who tried to stab someone. And he’s still getting mileage out of this story. At the reunion I heard him say: “I got thrown in the Disneyland jail — for dancing.”

This day has turned out to be a wash. I didn’t sleep well last night and we got up early and then we did this walk/dancing thing and my ankle is unhappy and I’m ready for bed right now. I think I’ll drink a beer and try to stay awake until 9pm.

Bob and I are doing the Run Hit Wonder tomorrow — I’d provide a link except the site is one of those flash-heavy, information-barren sites so I’ll spare you the endless download to watch a tour bus bounce and just tell you about it. Nike and VH1 are doing this 5K/10K race with classic 80’s bands Flock of Seagulls, Tone Loc, Dramarama, Tommy Tutone and General Public. The bands play at different spots along the route. At the end of the race is a show with Devo. I’d argue a majority of those bands aren’t one hit wonders and the terminally cool Mark Mothersbaugh Devo agrees. In the Oregonian he says, “I’m not thrilled by that name. Considering one of the most highly touted ad agencies Weiden+Kennedy, couldn’t come up with something better than that shows you the level of creativity these days. It’s just stupid.”

Just to make clear Bob and I don’t run and don’t care about running. But Walker did the race in LA and said it was blast to see the bands and the running part didn’t matter so we decided to sign up for it. Apparently Nike thinks the running part does matter because they sponsored a bunch of training runs and provide copious instructions dealing with their timing chip that we’re supposed to tie to our shoes. I’m not doing it. Maybe it’s the wrong attitude but I think it’s none of their business. But Nike has other goals. I’ll quote from something provided in our informational material: “You Trained. You Ran. Go Shop.” (with coupon for Nike store) You can see the logical, linear progression.

The bands share our interest in running. Mike Score of Flock of Seagulls says, “It’s one thing to play in the morning, but what are all of these people running for? The only thing I can run for at the hour of the morning is a donut. The running part of this event is certainly strange.” (Every time I hear “I Ran” I think about dancing to it at this teen club in the Valley called Phases).

Jerry Casale from Devo also had a good quote. He said, “It’s a beautiful thing to be performing in front of thousands of runners dressed exactly alike (each participant will sport a Nike Dri-FIT running shirt with a preprinted race number) dancing to “Freedom of Choice.”

We going to hear bands and have fun. I’ll take lots of pictures and tell you a story about Tommy Tutone tomorrow.

I’m not feeling inspired tonight so I’m going to keep this short.

(1) I put in some yard time. Shouldn’t ivy be illegal? I’ve been digging that stuff out for the past 3 or 4 summers. It’s brutal, dirty work and apparently hopeless.

(2) I fired up the new dishwasher last night while I was watching TV and it was so quiet I forgot it was on until Bob came in and said, “The dishwasher’s on. Cool.” Too bad we now have leak under our sink and the installers phone number doesn’t work. We called Sears and I guess this is going to be repaired under the warranty or something. It sucks being lame at fixing things.

(3) I kid you not, I know I said I would never do this to myself again but Big Brother 5 is the best thing on television.