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Tag Archives: things I hate
The Good Ship Clusterfukatonia
Noah the cat that lives next door, captured in this photo, September 2017
So, if you tried to visit this website over the weekend you might have noticed that it was completely wrecked.
There’s a story behind that which is hard for me to explain but basically there is this thing I need to do for security that has been on my list to deal with for at least 2 years, probably longer.
Church in Missouri where a particular type of silence is required, August 2016
I felt that the time had come to finally deal with this.
I opened up a “how to do this thing” article online and it looked too easy to be true and I did feel a vague sense of impending doom but also reckless optimism which was followed by regret only a few short minutes later.
Then I realized that I did Step 2 before I had done Step 1.
Unfortunately, at that point I could not access my dashboard so there was no way to undo what I did.
Kira birthday cupcakes that made my digestive system incredibly sorry, September, 2015. I should clarify it wasn’t the cupcakes themselves but the quantity. I think I ate 5 over a three day period.
My webhosting has good support, even for people like me who aren’t good at technology but it took several steps like going to this other dashboard that I forgot even existed but thank the flying spaghetti monster I still had the password and then refreshing and thinking good thoughts.
But that didn’t work and when we got to the next step it became apparent that my skills were not going to cut it. I’m sure it was an easy thing to do but at that point it was easier to pay someone $20 to do it than for me to read through 10 screens of things I don’t understand and take a chance of doing it wrong again and making it worse.
So it is working now but also I am afraid to click anything in my website dashboard now.
Posted in doing it wrong
Tagged clusterfukatonia, things I hate
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We Were the Hottest (Except for The Dalles)
So this was one more ridiculous thing that happened that proves that Mother Earth is mad and wants her planet back.
It was really terrible but also not as terrible as I thought it would be?
We have AC and were able to stay locked in the house. I can’t wait to see the electric bill.
I went outside and stood in the sun so I could tell myself this is what 115 feels like. It feels like a radiating hot oven of terrible. There was a hot breeze. It felt like one stray spark from total disaster.
I went to the office on Monday because we had a conference call that I could not take from home. I left early and I had to wait for the bus for about 15 minutes. There was plenty of shade but it was intense. There was a 30 second period where I thought: I can’t do this.
But I didn’t know what else to do. If I went back to the office, I would have to come back eventually and wait for the bus.
The last day of the extreme heat was the strangest. It was 115 at 6pm and by 9pm it was down in the 80s. By morning it was okay.
The yard did better than expected but my one super productive blueberry bush has lots of shrivels. The rhodies have burned leaves poor babies. The hydrangea is looking fried.
The tomatoes loved it. They grew taller. I should have ripe cherry tomatoes any day now.
Let’s all agree not to do this again.
Posted in doing it wrong
Tagged things I hate
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Shudder Shudder
We’ve always had a lot of yellow jacket activity around the shed — especially around that area I circled.
A couple of times over the summer I sprayed around there but I don’t like to get too close so it was probably not the best extermination technique.
After it froze, I went in with a flashlight and took a closer look and almost shuddered myself to unconsciousness. I knocked all this stuff down. A piece of the electrical connection on the outside light came off. I need to get back out there and sweep the last of it away.
No matter how dead the nests look, it still creeps me out beyond all logic to deal with those things.
The Models Are Real
Something is snacking on my daffodils
A couple of years ago I bought this weird bra at a local big box store. It’s cut like a sports bra but not made for sports. I don’t know what to call it. Maybe a bralette? It’s not lacy but has cute stripes. I like to wear it on the weekend.
I have never been able to find another bra like it at the box store. I’ve tried several similar bras but they were never as good or as cute as the first one.
Then I tried ordering one online that was super cute and very comfortable but my boobs end up sneaking out the bottom. (Is this TMI?)
A couple of weeks ago it occurred to me that I have access to a brazillion bras with a few click clicks of my computer. Why not expand my search?
I still haven’t found anything I love but the comment I wanted to make is that some places have regular looking people for models. Women with different shapes and freckles and muffin tops. Yeah sure, there were places with athletic slender models, too. But muffin tops! That made me really happy.
Final note: this week I ran across this article several times — it says that doing dishes causes the most relationship distress. Not for me. I don’t mind dishes at all. I’ve even written about it before. I hate planning, preparing, and cooking dinner. My favorite weeknights are when I don’t have to cook. I also hate ironing but I hardly ever do it so it doesn’t count.
I am on a roll with Book #3 at the moment. Current progress:
51475 / 75000
Papaya Update
Generally, there are few foods I won’t eat. That’s excluding unconventional or uncommon stuff like offal or bugs.
I hate tuna fish but I would eat it if I was a guest at someone’s house and that was what they offered. I don’t like yellow mustard or tarragon — which are more like flavors than foods. But if I get a sandwich with mustard or something in a restaurant has tarragon, I’ll eat it. I don’t like scallops but that’s because scallops don’t like me. I guess it’s the fat in them (?) but they give me terrible indigestion.
I can’t think of anything else right now.
One food I do not like is papaya. I don’t even like to be in the same room as papaya. I think it smells gross.
When I was a teenager I was in Hawaii with my family and we were on an inter-island flight and I made a terrible face and said: I smell papaya.
We were flying over a papaya orchard.
When I tell people this story they tell me: You were in a plane. You couldn’t possibly smell that.
I could.
Recently it occurred to me that I am a grown-ass woman and that perhaps I like papaya now. I haven’t tried it in decades. Maybe this is a delightful treat that I will regret not eating for so many years.
So while I was at my folks in CA this past weekend I bought a papaya. Even as I peeled it, I made a face. I tried a bite and then made a face like my tongue needed to be scraped and bleached.
Conclusion: I still hate papaya.
Comfortably Numb
I’m trying to coordinate a trip to California to see my family. This is a photo of me and my cousin Jennifer just a few years ago on Waikiki. She’s one of the people I’m trying to see.
Did I really neglect to share my dental emergency right before vacation?
If you can’t whine about your dental emergency on your blog, where can you whine about it? (Answer: Everywhere else. But still.)
My last day in the office before vacation I had planned to the last minute. I was cranking through getting everything done. Plus, it was the last semi-final of the Eurocup so I came in early so I could take a long lunch to watch the game and still get all my work done. Extra plus, I skipped breakfast so I could order a bacon cheeseburger at the sportsbar where I was going to watch the game.
But … I had a fairly new filling and the night before I was brushing my teeth and I ran my brush across this tooth and then Bob had to peel me from the ceiling. I thought it would be a good idea to see if my dentist could take a peek. Maybe the new filling needed an adjustment. I didn’t want a broken tooth on vacation.
Cut to:
Me at the endodondist prepping for an emergency root canal, missing my game, missing my bacon cheeseburger, my stomach growling sadly while I stared at the ceiling. And if you know anything about root canals, you know that they fry your dental benefit to kingdom come in the first 3 seconds so all my vacation money ready for spending handed over to surfer endodondist.
“Hi! How’s your day going so far?” he asked when he came to examine me.
Me: Uh, I was hoping my day would go exactly like this.
The good news: my tooth felt better and gave me no trouble on vacation. And I got a pocketful of drugs for my troubles.
The bad news: I had to have soup and rush back to the office and try to finish my work since the root canal took longer than a soccer game. Additional bad news, my soccer team lost which I found out later when I watched it on my DVR.
Please, Please Tell Me What We’ve Learned
One of the things I forgot to mention about the Timbers game is that I was very excited for the opportunity to see Freddie Adu play. (He was on the other team.) He’s only 22 now but when he was very young, he was tagged as one of the great future U.S. Players. He hasn’t quite lived up to it (yet? – he’s on the Olympic team) but I always like to see a talented player. But by the time the game started I was so deliriously happy to see the Timbers, I forgot he was there.
Remember my troubles with Verizon?
I’m not even going to dignify this discussion by linking to the earlier part.
The short reminder version is that my credit card was faux-frauded and I had to get a new one. I tried to tell Verizon so I could pay and it’s been a total pain in the ass from day 1. I went to the store and even they had trouble helping me. I had to log on at home and try again and then quit bill pay and re-sign up again. Which they thanked me for electronically and snail-y.
You can imagine my surprise when I got a robo-call from Verizon telling me I was past due and I’d better fix it quick.
You know what I’m not going to do?
Give my fresh unfrauded credit card number to a robo-call. How do I know it’s from Verizon?
So I tried to fix it online and got run around so I stomped over to the store again.
They can’t do anything at the store but sell you shit. They can’t do administrivia. What an awesome business plan: a place one human can talk to another human and that human can’t do anything but sell you shit.
So my human got me on the phone with customer service and we went around the block a few times.
Them: Did you update your card with us?
Me: Yes I updated my card with you that’s why I’m on the phone with you throwing a snitfit.
Them: Are you sure that’s your zip code? It’s not going through.
Me: @^#5*9*^#4^)!!!!!!!!!!
Eventually, the nice lady said it was all fixed. Apparently when I switched to autopay (which I didn’t switch to, remember) I was supposed to do my first payment manually. Because that makes sense.
So nothing more to worry about.
Except I was still getting robo-calls that my service was going to be shut off if I didn’t pay — every 2 hours.
You know, according to the LA Times Verizon had a profit of $10.2 billion in 2010 — HIRE SOME ACTUAL PEOPLE YOU CHEAP FARKWITS!
So when I got home and had my cheat sheet I was able to log on and go through 7 layers of security including answering questions about my favorite Monkee, singing the chorus of The Logical Song, doing the Hokey Pokey and typing in a limerick about my favorite pet, I manually paid the “late” bill and then the new bill will supposedly be billed on the 26th.
I hope they’re happy now.
Posted in doing it wrong
Tagged everyone is stupid, leave me alone, things I hate
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I’ll Stop the World and Melt With You
Last night I spent 20 minutes online trying to figure out how to update Verizon with my new credit card. I had to go through multiple security hoops again and again. I couldn’t find what I was supposed to do and it just kept kicking me back where I’d already been. I gave up.
I went to the Verizon store today and almost cried when she pointed me to the computer kiosk which she said was the only place I could do this. Seriously Verizon, how tough is it supposed to be for people to pay you?
She ran me through the same multiple security hoops. I entered my password at least 4 times and my fresh unfrauded credit card 4 times. She couldn’t get it to work either.
She was madly texting her the powers-that-be about what a pain-in-the-ass this was (or texting her Valentine’s date about how badly she couldn’t wait for this day to be over) and finally told me to try again at home and if it didn’t work to just call and do it over the phone.
I finally had to close my auto-bill pay and then reopen with the new card. Because if I were in charge, that’s exactly the way I would set it up.
Then I tried to update my Paypal and it would let me add the new card but not delete the old card. You know, the one that’s canceled. (Thanks for nothing hippiedippies.) I’m dreading updating anything else. Credit cards expire every few years, shouldn’t this be a simple process?
Finally, I made my sweetheart truffles today and I could not shape them to save my life. They were too cold and square and as I squeezed them in my hands they just melted on me. It was (surprisingly) not a satisfying experience. They taste great but I wish they were prettier. Luckily, he still loves me.
I Have Never Eaten A Buffalo Wing
I had lunch at a place outside my normal circle and walked by this building. I feel like I’ve never seen it before.
Remember the fraudulent charge I found on my credit card last week? The one I found when I was looking up something I’d ordered that had never shown up? But I knew it wasn’t the same thing because it was the wrong amount and the wrong company?
Guess what?
I was wrong.
Apparently the hippie dippie company that sells my special tooth powder sold its brand to some “Leaders in Bad Customer Service” company. The LIBCS company couldn’t fill what I ordered, so they just filled what they wanted and charged me for that and charged my card to LIBCS which I’ve never heard of, all without any communication with me whatsoever.
Meanwhile the new credit cards arrived and I have to update approximately 1000 companies with my new number so they can load it onto laptop computers that their CEOs can leave on the front seats of rental cars to get stolen so I can do this all over again.
My packing slip is a sheet of paper that looks like it came out of a free printer and it doesn’t have the total on it. I’m afraid to do the math myself because I’m sure I got screwed.
The good part is that I ordered 7 bottles of tooth powder so I don’t have to worry about buying more for at least 2 years.
The Miracle Dress
I can’t remember if I ever wrote about this before. This is the magic dress. I wish I could take a better picture but you get the idea.
This dress is at least 10 years old but it still looks great. No snags or pilling. Hasn’t faded a bit. Hasn’t stretched out all ugly.
It is a comfortable material that hangs just right. It can be worn in winter with wool tights and a sweater. It can be worn in summer with sandals. It can be dressed up with nice shoes and a fancy necklace.
It can be balled up at the bottom of the suitcase and then shook out and will look fine.
It goes in the washer and dryer.
Someone should find out what this material is and makes it in 30 colors and come up with some different dress styles and and then sit back and watch the money fly in. If you are a person who wears dresses, believe me, you want this.
I got it from Coldwater Creek. I was talking about it to someone and she said she had a similar dress from The Territory Ahead.
I wrote the above post yesterday and it was ready to go I just had bunch of things going in the kitchen so I didn’t get to it. Then we had this thing with our power that I don’t want to get into but it was dark in all the corners and I turned off the computer to deal with later. That problem is patched up for now and we’re keeping an eye on it.
Meanwhile, I found a strange charge on our credit card which a problem still in process. I found it yesterday and the only reason I did was because I actually did order something over 2 weeks ago and still haven’t seen it. I wanted to check and see if they charged me before I inquired about what the hold up was. They did not. But I found the fraudulent charge – so I guess lucky I spotted it before it turned into a hot tub or plane tickets to Peru. I know I feel lucky.
I waited to ask Bob about it just in case it was something he bought because it makes sense that my husband would buy something from a sports nutrition company in Florida. (What’s the deal with Florida? Last time we had credit card fraud the purchases were from companies in Florida.) It wouldn’t make sense at all. In fact, he uses a different card for his personal stuff. I’m ready to take care of it today and, of course, everything is closed. The credit card place has a phone thing you can use to block your card so hopefully that’s real and not just something to trick people like me into not being worked into an anxious frazzle.
Last time this happened was was about 7 years ago and the credit card place made me file a police report which I had to go pick up in person. What a fabulous use of taxpayer resources. I hope they have a new system now.
