Tag Archives: I hate shopping

Still Doing It Wrong After All These Years

Guess where we were today?

The bean store. (The bean store is not doing it wrong.)

I can’t wait to see the look on Bob’s face (my Bob, not the Red Mill one) when he sees this giant bag of flour I bought.

As it is, I buy 10 lbs. at a time and I go through it pretty quick. I was thinking of working through some of my bread baking recipes this winter. I bet I’ll use it.

I also stocked up on a wide variety of legumes and other stuff. And I had a latte. I don’t drink coffee so right now I feel like my head is about to pop off.

Last week I did two shopping errands, each about 15 minutes, and already I hate Christmas shopping.

At one place the clerk was so worthless it was like it was her purpose to make sure I didn’t buy anything. I stomped out of the store empty-handed but now I still need to find a present.

We have a relatively new motion detector light out front. One of the bulbs burned out and I decided to deal with it right away instead of putting it off for the next three years.

I went to the good hardware store (remind me to write a post about hardware stores someday) and was directed to this item. She told me: You can’t touch the bulb with your fingers because the oil ruins the bulb.


Of course the detector is installed up on a wall outside. So I needed a step ladder and I needed to lean at an awkward angle and I couldn’t see what I was doing and I had to cram my tiny girl hand into this little metal cylinder where the lightbulb lives. And you can’t touch the lightbulb so you have it wrapped in a little napkin.

Why would you even invent a system like this? There seriously is no better way to make a motion detector? It took me about a half hour and I said oodles of bad words and stomped in and out of the house trying to figure out what the problem was.

I even looked for online advice thinking there must be something I’m missing. One guy’s advice? “Turn the bulb into the socket in a clockwise direction.”

Wow, thanks Einstein. The world is so lucky to have you.

I finally got it all reassembled and tested it. Then I jogged up and down the driveway in a victory dance, like Rocky.

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November Soccer

Remember the plastic pants?

Well, I lost them.

I wasn’t wearing them but I was carrying them to a game where I might potentially need them but didn’t.

What can I say? I like to have a good time and that means pants get misplaced now and again.

Meanwhile, I haven’t replaced them because it seemed like something that would be easier to do later.

Later has arrived. Tonight I’m going to see the US Women’s National Team play Ireland and our seats are not protected. It’s only supposed to drizzle so I might get away without it but I don’t think I’m going to try.

I went to the Columbia store yesterday and of course they don’t have the regular old plastic pants. They have some sort of fancy plastic pants that are stunt pants with zippers on the side so you can tear away like in Magic Mike.

They also cost about 40% more. So I said I didn’t want the stunt pants and they sent me around the corner to the mountain climbing store and they have the non-stunt pants which are about 90% more than the plain old pants because they are for mountain climbing, not keeping your butt dry while you watch soccer. I can order the cheaper plastic pants online but I need to travel back in time so that I will have them for tonight’s game.

There is no point to shopping downtown. They never have what you want.

The plan is to go back for the stunt pants after lunch. At that point I’m sure they’ll be sold out and only have extra large stunt mountain climbing pants for $500.

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Check It Out Now!

Look! I have tomatoes. All this many.

And there are at least that many more that are almost ready for picking.

Bob said, “Wow, those came on fast.”

I said, “It’s September 100th.”

For contrast here’s my kitchen on September 6 last year.

Did I ever write about my jeans shopping day? My favorite jeans are one year away from disintegrating and for my replacement jeans I accidentally bought saggy Mom jeans. I decided I was going to go out and find some fancy jeans that would make me look like a stylin’ lady.

I tried on at least 30 pairs, all different brands and styles.

Not one pair fit. Not even close. They were all tight in the butt and/or thighs and gaping at the waist. I finally gave up and figured I’d try again another time.

A couple weeks ago I said screw stylin’ and went to Eddie Bauer. I knew which size I needed but of course they’ve changed their sizing scheme.

All these stores have a complicated scheme of pants styles.

There’s another store I shop at and they now have 4 styles. It’s like: the Metropolitan- slim at the waist and thigh, firm through the hips; the Sassy – slender at the thigh, low at the waist and full through the hips; the Henrietta – higher in the waist than the Sassy but lower than the Metropolitan, straight through the hips; and the Flirty – slim at the waist, firm at the thigh and relaxed through the hips.

I wanted to send them a message that said: Fire your translator. Nobody knows what that means.

At Eddie Bauer I tried on the Sassy, the Curvy, the Rainier and the Bainbridge. And then I had to pick from classic blue, Puget blue, faded, ultra-faded and the ranchero fade. Not to mention skinny, boyfriend, bootcut, slender cut, relaxed cut, beefy cut and astronaut cut. Of course they didn’t have what I needed in the store but I could order it from a phone in the store to get free shipping, plus a coupon for trying on 15 pairs of pants plus a buy one get one for 50% deal.

They finally arrived. I love my new jeans.

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Point of No Return

I’ve had a gift card for new exercise clothes since my birthday. I tried to use it at least a half dozen times but always seemed to get interrupted before I was finished or else when I finally found the perfect item it was only available in XXS or neon green.

I like to go through the comments where people describe the fit. If there are lots of comments that the clothes run small or that an item looks cute but is uncomfortable on, this is helpful information but it’s time consuming.

I finally sat down with all my notes and figured out what I wanted and placed my order. And then when it arrived the pants were too tight. I think they might have been doable but I don’t like skin tight pants and would never have wanted to wear them so I decided to do a return.

The invoice that came with the order exclaimed how easy returns were! Then proceeded with three paragraphs of tiny writing that made no sense. Use the pre-printed return label. There was no pre-printed return label. Use the same packaging the clothes came in. You mean this plastic bag that I had to rip open to get the clothes out?

This company has about 5 brands You had 45 days to make the return unless you only had 30 days to make the return although some clothes could be returned anytime. You could return them to an actual store unless you couldn’t. You could call and they would credit the return but charge your credit card and then credit it back and upgrade the shipping.

On and on it went. I seriously considered whether it might be easier to just lose weight so the pants fit.

Finally I called and navigated one of those phone trees that makes you say what you want to a robot. You can’t just press a button. I prefer to press a button. It also had no choices that fit my situation: “Doesn’t understand return procedures” and it took a few rounds to get it. But finally, Mitsy picked up the phone. She was super perky and ultimately very helpful. She ran me through an equally confusing thing about my credit and gift card. Something like it takes three weeks to get the gift card return because you have to get the credit in the same form you paid and I used a combo of gift card and credit card. But I could get the exercise pants now if I gave her my credit card and then use the new gift card on a future purchase. Or I could wait and call back. Or I can get one pair of pants now and one later. Let’s check how much we have in stock.

I was still confused but Mitsy’s over-powering confidence urged me to a decision. So I think I bought a pair of bigger pants and then will get a gift card in a few weeks and can start all over with a new order. And if I don’t like the new pants, I will keep them anyway.

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Ancient Clothes

These are the tomato seedlings. I saved a blob of seeds last year and they’ve been sitting on the windowsill, looking like something we were too lazy to throw away, on a wadded up paper towel. I split them in half and planted the two blobs. A couple dozen sproutlets came up. I thinned them out. I need to get it to one per pot.

I finally flipped my closet over the weekend. I put the winter stuff away and pulled the lighter stuff from the back. I thought I needed more clothes. I was dreading having to buy any.

When the lotto was up to $300M or whatever I was thinking if I had money like that I’d hire people to bring me clothes. I would love to have new stuff I just don’t want to deal with having to out and get it myself.

I ended up finding a bunch of clothes I’d forgotten about that I put away last year. I probably could use a couple of tops and I might get a new pair of sandals because there’s a shoe store I like near the office.

Really what I need is winter clothes. There was a point in March where I was wearing my same warm outfits over and over. I can’t find good warm pants. I found an online store that had some that looked okay but when I looked at the reviews all the people who loved them were ladies 55-65. That didn’t sound promising.

But I don’t have to worry about it until October. Maybe then I’ll be in the mood for shopping.

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Shrinky-Dink Feet

I have three pairs of shoes in my closet that are more than twenty years old. My glittery boots and my party girl shoes from the 80’s and those clunky things in the middle that I got right before I moved up here. I’m certain that’s the last pair of non slide-on shoes I bought. (Besides exercise shoes.)

My feet have changed too much to wear the heels. The shoes are gigantic now. I can’t even fake it. I once desperately needed some heels and I thought I’d wing it with those but they don’t work. It’s hard to believe I used to wear those for a late night out. I could run uphill in those things. (Not that I ever needed to … )

I wore the boots a couple of years ago to a fancy function. They fit okay. I should wear them again.

The middle pair I decided to wear on Friday for no particular reason. They were perfectly comfortable but felt weird on my feet.

Other than exercise shoes I only wear Danskos. I like to be able to slide my shoes off. I don’t wear shoes when I drive. I kick my shoes off at the office or pretty much any place I can get away with it. I like to sit with my legs folded under me which I’m sure is the source of most of my back trouble but I can’t get comfortable with my feet on the floor.

I still need heels but I hate shoe stores. You have to have someone help you. They hover. And it’s hard to tell if something is comfortable just by trying it on and taking a lap around the store. I don’t need to wear heels much but it would be nice to have one pair of shoes that isn’t frumpy.

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Black Friday Video

If you haven’t seen it yet, some black friday videos here.

I do not understand this. This is a country where people will pay $5 for a cup of coffee or $3.99 to download a special annoying sound for their cellphone.

Why in the name of all that’s good and holy would anyone want to get up before dawn and then brawl to get a special deal on something?

If it was a constitutional requirement, I would pay double to get out of it. I can’t think of anything I want that badly. If it was the last kidney on the planet and my only hope for survival, I still wouldn’t do it.

Project update: I’m about 90% finished. There are a couple special requirements (how am I going to shoe horn a clipping mask into this thing?) that I can’t wrap my head around tonight. But I can smell the fresh paint at the finish line.

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Customer Service

Yesterday, when we got back from our trip, we made a desperate run to the grocery store. We were out of everything except onions and mustard.

I’ve been having trouble with my garage door opener and the battery seemed the likely culprit so I carefully wrote down the name and number of the thing on my list so I’d have it at the store.

The lady at the battery/photo/whatever counter was busy with a customer so I hunkered down, because the batteries are near the floor, and searched myself and had no luck so when she finished, I asked her if she had any batteries for my garage door opener and showed her the number.

“I don’t know,” she said, “Don’t you see it down there?”

“No,” I said. “That’s why I was asking.” (I said it in an information giving way, not a snotty way.)

“What?” she said, all snippy. WTF? Yeah lady, I see bags of them hanging here, I just wondered if you did.

This reminds me of another time I was at a much loathed chain bookstore but I needed a particular item for a gift and stood at the help counter for ages while the surly twenty-somethings did some riveting thing that necessitated ignoring me for 5 minutes. Finally one of them turns and wanders over and says, “Did you need some help?”

No. I thought this would be a nice place to stand. What is wrong with people?

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I Hate Shopping

I’ve been seized by the notion that I hate everything in my closet. I want to clean it all out and haul it to Goodwill. That wouldn’t be so bad except I’d need to buy new things so I could be properly clothed and I don’t have the patience or interest right now.

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Car Shopping Is The Worst

This weekend we actually set foot on a car lot (actually several). We’ve been talking about replacing one of our vehicles for years now but talking is as far as we got. I’ve been driving a Honda CRX since November of 1986. How many times have I already posted that on this blog? My current CRX is an 89 which I have been driving since May 90. I am financially anxious and ultra-conservative. I don’t care how much they’ll loan me. I want to take out the tiniest loan possible. Where did this financial paranoia come from? And is it really a problem that a person doesn’t want to borrow tons of money?

The car shopping wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be. I had built it up into such an ultra-nightmare that almost anything could have happened and it’s wouldn’t have been worse. But car salesmen are their own species. The first guy they put on us was young enough — I could have given birth to him. We must have asked too many questions because they graduated us to the next guy who had more info, but definitely wanted to sell a car. It was like I got to look inside and test drive one and they were ready to make a deal. I wanted to look inside EVERY Camry on the lot. Oh, but they have to go in and get the key and you can’t get the mileage w/o the key. Isn’t this totally unorganized? But I did drive one and got a good look at a bunch. And I was very clear about not giving out my phone number. I’m not completely insane.

At the next lot I looked at a bunch of Accords. They were almost all 5-speed and I prefer an automatic. They were also the ugliest colors. There were a couple of decent Camrys on this lot too. For the third act we stopped at the airport and went to the Hertz lot and this introduced a whole new dimension to our search because the cars were a bit newer and a couple thousand $$ more than the top end of our budget. Now I don’t know what to do or what I want and everyone is kind enough to put doubts in my mind like buying a used car is the curse of the new millennium. I will be driving this CRX FOREVER.

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