November Soccer

Remember the plastic pants?

Well, I lost them.

I wasn’t wearing them but I was carrying them to a game where I might potentially need them but didn’t.

What can I say? I like to have a good time and that means pants get misplaced now and again.

Meanwhile, I haven’t replaced them because it seemed like something that would be easier to do later.

Later has arrived. Tonight I’m going to see the US Women’s National Team play Ireland and our seats are not protected. It’s only supposed to drizzle so I might get away without it but I don’t think I’m going to try.

I went to the Columbia store yesterday and of course they don’t have the regular old plastic pants. They have some sort of fancy plastic pants that are stunt pants with zippers on the side so you can tear away like in Magic Mike.

They also cost about 40% more. So I said I didn’t want the stunt pants and they sent me around the corner to the mountain climbing store and they have the non-stunt pants which are about 90% more than the plain old pants because they are for mountain climbing, not keeping your butt dry while you watch soccer. I can order the cheaper plastic pants online but I need to travel back in time so that I will have them for tonight’s game.

There is no point to shopping downtown. They never have what you want.

The plan is to go back for the stunt pants after lunch. At that point I’m sure they’ll be sold out and only have extra large stunt mountain climbing pants for $500.

This entry was posted in doing it wrong and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink.

3 Responses to November Soccer

  1. BallardAvenue says:

    Garbage bags. The big ones. Cut open the closed end and wear it like a skirt. Get another to cover the rest of your legs. You’ll look super dorky but geez, it’s Jeld-Wen Field. Super dorky name, super dorky pants. What could be more Portland?

  2. Lincoln Log says:

    That’s what I was going to say. In the old days we would just sit on trash bags.

  3. Kira says:

    All I can think is “We either have to leave this place or put on some pants.”

Comments are closed.