Day of the Figs

Wow, it’s the middle of August. What happened?

Our next door neighbors have a giant fig tree and it was really loaded. I looked at it with envy even though I love my little fig tree.

As we got closer to harvest time, we would check in with the neighbors.

Figs yet? No, still hard as a rock. How about you?

Then we had a few days of 100 degree weather.

And then the figs were all ripe at the same time.

This is part of our crop. I ate most of it standing outside next to the tree.

Our neighbors were inundated. They said we could pick over the fence. And then just said come over and pick. And also gave us bunches.

They also had a murmuration of starlings discover the tree and do a number on it.

I threw my stash into the freezer and will be making jam when I have time.

Just as fast as it started, it’s finished. Just the second crop nubbins out there now.

Posted in doing it wrong | Tagged | Leave a comment

Easiest Thing First

I mis-titled the video but too lazy to figure out how to fix it. Only one raccoon on the bucket. Two others playing in the background. Address any complaints to the manager.

This is another scheduled post. The second half of July is crazy busy and I have so much raccoon and bucket content that can’t go to waste.

I have this thing I do at work when I have to file (I hate filing!) where I file the biggest documents and packets first so I quickly get the pile down. Except then I have 20 single pieces of paper that I have to figure out where to put.

I’ve been doing this with books lately and reading the skinniest books first. Look how many books I read! Except also I am having some attention span issues so I’ve been picking quick books that are easy to follow. I’ve got a ton of books on deck that I’m dying to get into but I need an extended chunk of time that I can dig in. Thirty minutes here and there on the bus doesn’t cut it.

This kind-of leads into my lists of things to do at work.

At the end of the week or the end of the day, I will make a list of the first things I need to start with when I get back in the office.

Inevitably, I will not look at the list. I always meet deadlines and make sure I’m on top of things but it cracks me up how consistently I ignore my own good intentions.

Posted in doing it wrong | Tagged | Comments Off on Easiest Thing First

Open Sesame

I brought my camera card in after only a couple of days and it had over 100 clips on it. I assumed it was going to be waving sunflowers in the wind but instead, this mama and two little ones hung out in the yard a couple of times.

More of these funny guys to come.

Bob bought some yummy bread that was delicious but also covered with sesame seeds and those seeds got into every little crevice in our kitchen. I’m still finding sesame seeds.

But also: I would get that bread again in a hot second.

Posted in doing it wrong | Comments Off on Open Sesame

Bring Me Peanut Butter Pretzels

We have to add peanut butter pretzels to the ever growing list of things that I like that don’t like me.

I love them so much but they don’t sit quite right — not really indigestion. It’s like even if I carefully count them out and eat say, 5, my body feels like I ate half a bag and I feel bad for the rest of the day.

I think this is the last bag.

Other foods that I like that don’t like me: scallops (oof, the indigestion) and most of the time sparkling and white wines give me a gruesome headache.

And in even more tragic news: I gave up on the project of forever. This is a writing project very near and dear to my heart that I have picked up and set aside a number of times over the years.

I tried many, many things. I used it as a project for a class. I added characters. I tried splitting it into shorter interconnected stories. I can’t figure out how to make it work. I realized that it was making me hate writing.

It’s always funny to read articles (listen to podcasts, whatever) that talk about writer’s block. It’s not a block. I can write forever. But a story isn’t just typing. The parts need to fit together. And it seems weird since you’re making it all up — figure out a way to fit it together.

But I can’t. So. It’s put away and I’m working on some short stories for fun and in the fall I plan to write another romance.

Posted in doing it wrong | Comments Off on Bring Me Peanut Butter Pretzels

The Kid is Hot Tonight

Kathy took this one. Hello, Tommy Shaw!

Last week I went to a concert: REO Speedwagon, Styx, and Loverboy aka High School Jukebox.

It was super fun — great afternoon/evening not too hot with clear skies. We saw the space station pass overhead.

Hearing all those songs — some I haven’t even thought of in years.

Huge barn filled with people my age: having a blast.

Me and two other guys wearing a mask. hehe.

All the bands sounded terrific and gave great performances. Tommy Shaw is the true immortal and looks exactly the same.

Rockin’ the Paradise.

I kept joking that when I was young, I would have spent so much time getting ready for a concert and picking my outfit and puffing up my hair and taking 15 minutes to apply eye make-up.

This time I was like: pants with pockets! I’m ready to go.

Posted in doing it wrong | Comments Off on The Kid is Hot Tonight

The Mystery of the Missing Turd

This is the chaos that is the garden at the moment. I enjoy letting it do its own thing. The sunflowers are huge. Pumpkin vines going everywhere. Bush beans unimpressive. Slug eating the greens. Tomatoes looking good with little green ones on the vines.

The other morning Bob and I headed out for a walk and there was a big old turd in my flower bed.

I am accustomed to finding turds in my yard and in my flower beds but this one was right by the front door.

I’ve never seen one quite like this.

I finally remembered I wanted to grab it — like with a plastic bag and get rid of it but when I went out there it was gone.

I went and asked Bob if he’d gotten rid of it, even though I knew that was preposterous and indeed, he had not.

So what happened to the turd?

We think maybe someone saw their dog do it and felt bad and came back for it which also seems preposterous but these are the times we live in.

Posted in garden | Comments Off on The Mystery of the Missing Turd

Kling Klang Machine

Here’s No Tail, headed off to bed after a long night of searching for worms.

Bob and I went to see Kraftwerk on Friday. Bob mentioned he got tickets several times and he could invite someone else if I didn’t want to go but also it would be really cool. I finally said I would go and he was so excited because it was going to be really cool.

He was right.

Here’s the wiki on Kraftwerk. It’s an electronic band that formed in 1970 in Dusseldorf. They were way ahead of their time.

One of the original founders is still in the band. He’s 75! It’s hard to describe. The music is very Berlin-disco-rhythm-be-boop. But also an immersive 3-D visual show sort of like being trapped in a video game. And also these 4 guys lined up in front of their techno stations pressing buttons and sliders. Also during one part of the show: robots.

It was a great show. I’m so glad I went.

We haven’t been out together like that in who knows how long — we had dinner and walked around downtown.

I spend so much time downtown but so rarely on a Friday evening. It was … interesting. A little wild west down there.

Posted in doing it wrong | Tagged | Comments Off on Kling Klang Machine

What is in the Bucket?

A hilarious clip of a unhappy customer.

Bob went to a different grocery store that didn’t have my regular yogurt.

I’m going to interrupt my own story for a second to absorb that idea that I am writing a post about yogurt.

When I used to get back from visiting my parents, I marveled at how much time we spent every morning talking about yogurt. Dad’s yogurt. Mom’s yogurt. This yogurt. That yogurt.

Why is there so much talk about yogurt?

And here we are.

Bob bought the store brand plain non-fat Greek yogurt. I can’t figure out why I hate this yogurt so much. It has no taste. It’s like a non-food. It’s not really bad. It’s just like nothing. Every morning I drag my feet when it comes time to make my breakfast. I only have one scoop left. Let’s never buy it again.

Since we’re here, my favorite yogurt is Nancy’s plain, low fat, purple packaging. I don’t like the sweet yogurt.

I also don’t really like Greek yogurt at all but it has more protein and my doctor is after me about eating protein throughout the day. So I occasionally will eat a 2% Greek but my favorite is Nancy’s.

Posted in doing it wrong | Tagged | Comments Off on What is in the Bucket?

Come Touch It

This is a hardboiled egg disaster. I wish I would have had some of my googly eyes handy.

We’re having a family visit this weekend.

I started to make cookies on Thursday and I added in an egg and it looked just a teeny bit off and smelled just a teeny bit off. Not bad but not right. I went back and forth a few times but elders were going to be eating these cookies, there was no room for error so I threw the dough away.

It always hurts to throw out something like that.

And. I remembered my lesson from 7th grade Home Ec — break the eggs into a little bowl before you add to the mix in case you get egg shells in there or the egg is not good. OOPS! You were right, Mrs. Wheeler.

I did a do over on Friday.

My friends in Chicago are donut people. This is not the only collection of donuts from the visit.

My grocery store trip was also eventful.

As I was going in I saw a guy with at least a pallet of bottled water. He saw me noticing and ran over to ask if I needed concrete work.

Inside, there was a person who seemed to be having a mental health crisis. I finally went to ask a manager if there was something we could do and I was informed that they are a person with a disability, they are a regular customer, and they are fine. Which is great, I am happy to be educated but the person explaining this to me was a total witch about it.

How am I supposed to know?

Later I watched a person fill their pockets with drinks and snacks and walk out of the store.

Then I got into an argument with my regular checker about whether my tribal ID was okay to check ID. They require ID on all alcohol purchases now. Fine – I understand why they have to do that, but also a tribal ID is a legal form of identification. The checker told me they’ve never even heard of a tribal ID. I wanted to punch them in the face and tell them to learn something about the first people where they live. 

Space is freaking awesome.

Happy Fourth of July and Dad’s 92nd birthday! Hopefully I will insert more photos later.

Posted in doing it wrong | Comments Off on Come Touch It

Long Beautiful Nails Could Save Me


When I was young, like middle school, I really, really wanted long fingernails.

I have no idea why this was so important to me.

Like, I thought I could be more popular and pretty. For real.

But instead, I was a nail biter and my nails were always weak and the minute they grew a tiny bit they were bendy and would break. Plus the way my nails grow, the nail bed is low on my fingertips so the free edge has a long way to go to even reach the ends of my fingers.

Now I hate if my fingernails are even the tiniest bit long. I cut them the second there’s enough free edge to grab.

And they seem like they grow faster than ever. Do they grow faster as you age? Or is it more like how different time goes by now, like when I see a photo of myself and think it’s from a year or two ago and really it’s like 10 years old?

Finger nails are no longer a priority.

Posted in doing it wrong | 1 Comment