Category Archives: doing it wrong

Dad!

July 4, 1930 – July 16, 2026

96 years old!!

I don’t know if anyone reads this who doesn’t know me in real life. Or even if anyone reads this. 😂

I’ve been thinking about writing something but waiting until I time to write something really good. But what does that even mean? I might post the obit later.

But here we go: what a life this man had.

At our last few healthcare visits I said: If a cat has 9 lives, Dad has 109 lives.

Quick list of things he survived: WWII as a child in Hamburg, Germany; colon cancer; heart attack; all kinds of mobility issues and hip surgery and then falling during the recovery; lost an eye to shingles; lost a leg to a complicated leg circulation thing; 3 bouts of pneumonia in 10 months.

He fought death hard. He wasn’t going out without a fight.

I had envisioned the end as this quiet time with all of us at his bedside. I had worried that the last stage would be drawn out because he was so tough.

But when it finally happened it was chaotic and quick and a surprise. He was surrounded by caregivers and we were trying to make him comfortable. Then he was gone.

And well done, Dad. You’d been through enough.

My dad gave me my love of soccer, particularly the World Cup. I first learned about the WC when West Germany was in the final in 1982. I don’t recall that I watched the entire match but someone had sent Dad a tape (?) of the game and we talked about it.

World Cup has been something we could bond over and enjoyed talking about.

The 2026 tournament was hit or miss for him because he was spending a lot of time in bed the last couple of months.

I went over for a match — I think it was England v Norway. He was in bed and said he didn’t feel well. I said, “I’m going to keep you company. I’m going to turn on the match.”

About 10 minutes later I heard, whump! behind me. He’d transferred to his wheelchair. He said, “Sweetie! Can you get me my hairbrush?”

I helped him get himself together and we watched the match. He wasn’t paying much attention to the teams but he enjoyed watching the play and goals. Too bad he missed that England v France match.

It’s been a long adventure. I would tell people he had a heart attack in 2010 and he’s been diminishing a grain of sand a day since then. He moved to be closer to us in 2019 and we’ve loved having him here.

Hard to believe he’s gone.

There is a Celebration of Life at his retirement home on Saturday. For the family celebration — it will be in California TBD.

But if you want to celebrate my dad — listen to some jazz, whip up cocktails, grill some steaks, and enjoy a laugh with people you love.

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The Chilly Bus Seat Solution

The Future Imagined in Albert Robida’s La vie électrique (1890) from thePublic Domain Review.

Have I ever complained about how cold it is on the bus in the summer? I surely have but can’t find a post about that right now.

As soon as the sun comes out and the daily high gets into the 60s, apparently the buses are mandated to crank the air conditioning.

I had this great idea to find a summer coat. I envisioned something very thin but also fleecy so it would be cozy but not a giant thing to haul around on a hot day. Numerous searches yielded nothing I was willing to buy. Anything that was close was too expensive or a weird color or too close to something I already had that I didn’t want to be my summer coat.

Then somehow I got an idea for a summer blanket and after searching around I found: travel blankets! And that cracked the search wide open. I had about 3 that would have worked but I narrowed it down and I bought 2. One for me and one for a friend or to keep in the car or whatever I decided.

I’ve been hauling it around and then the first time it was cold enough that I would want to use it – I was too embarrassed to take it out. I know. What’s wrong with me? I’d rather sit there shivering then get out my travel blanket that I bought specifically for when I’m too cold on the bus. Like all the other passengers would be looking at the weird old lady with her bus blanket.

The second time I was too cold it was morning. This particular type of bus must double as a meat locker when it’s not being used to drive people around. Just sitting in the seat I felt like I was getting freezer burn. I whipped out my blanket and cozied up under it and it was perfect. And I felt so smart and prepared. (This is what I got.)(Not sponsored — I’ve never sponsored anything but just in case you were wondering.)

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Skunky McSkunky Face

Look how big this skunk is! And so shiny. If you didn’t know better you’d want to pet it.

For the night of July 4 we had the house closed up to deal with the noise. The city has banned fireworks for several years now and there was an aggressive public communication campaign that said there would be zero tolerance for fireworks in the city limits.

I heard a couple pops and fizzles and you could hear fireworks in the distance but it was decently quiet night.

I woke up very early to the smell of skunk. In my half-sleep I thought that it was weird I could smell skunk. Then I heard Bob bumping around and I thought maybe I was smelling coffee.

Sure, why not?

When we got up the skunk smell was strong in the shop and out in the backyard.

The camera batteries were dying so I didn’t get any clips but I’m going to guess the jerk raccoons harassed the skunk and it cut loose on them.

The smell was gone by afternoon.

The first thing I do when I get up in the morning is go to the kitchen window and see if there are any critters out there. Generally no but if I do see something, it’s usually a bunny and bunny is my favorite.

This morning I looked out and guess who was out there? The deer! Eating my strawberries!

It looked up when I said, “Hey! Get out of my yard!” from the window and then stood there. I dashed to the backdoor but by the time I opened it the deer vanished. I’m not sure where it went but I’m guessing into the yard next door. We have a low fence between our backyards and then have a low gate out of their backyard to the street.

That is the 8th visit I’ve documented since April 8. 🙁

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San Francisco – Internet Archive

Last post from the San Francisco trip. My husband wanted to do the tour at Internet Archive. This is about the 10 millionth thing that my husband wanted to do that I never heard of and wasn’t wild about and ended up loving. I don’t even know how he knew they did tours because I can’t find a link for you.

I didn’t take a photo myself but they bought the building they are in partly because it looks like their logo. More info here.

Remember these big fat computer books?

Internet Archive is an incredible organization that, as the name suggests, is creating a digital library of everything it reasonably can. There’s music and software and books. I didn’t take notes, I just listened so any info listed here will be from the website.

Alcove full of servers

A single copy of the Internet Archive library collection occupies 200+ Petabytes of server space and they store at least 2 copies of everything.

Among the many amazing features is the Wayback Machine which has the history of more than 1 trillion web pages on the Internet.

Here is the earliest capture of pamrentz.com on August 15, 2001.

Sample scanning device.

Their main thing is books. They partner with a bookstore and travel all around checking out books from estate sales or wherever.

Our tour guide told a story of being out with one of the founders and coming across a box of books left on a porch. The founder had to stop and go through it to make sure there wasn’t anything there that wasn’t in the archive. There’s an app they use for that. Maybe anyone can.

Look for Tony Vanza at Internet Archive events.

If any of this sounds even a tiny bit interesting to you — check the website. It is an overwhelming source of information.

And they are funded largely by private donations so if you appreciate what they do and have room in your charitable giving there is a link at the website.

Now you’re probably thinking, wait. What are those statues in the alcove photo?

Those are people who work at Archive.Org. The building they are in used to be a church and part of the tour is in the great room and as you walk in you see these statues everywhere. It’s a little creepy until you hear the story. After an employee has been their 3 years, they get a statue.

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San Francisco Trip Part 2

Remember when I was a girl and I used to take notes and lots of photos and write stories about things that happened on trips?

I don’t do that anymore. I feel like getting out my phone interrupts things.

I just spent 15 minutes trying to embed this video of the BART train coming into the station but it was giving me fits and I took a screenshot instead. I’m sure you feel a loss of life enrichment.

We stayed with friends in San Bruno and took BART to the festival.

I texted colleague from under the Bay with a screenshot showing where my phone said I was to give him anxiety. It worked.

It was really fast and didn’t bother me.

There was a small child who was unnerved by the train underground. His parents handled it really well — they didn’t tell him to stop crying they just played with him and distracted him and by the time he figured out what was going on there was daylight again.

This is from a different day. This is Fort Point historical site located under the Golden Gate Bridge. It’s a tremendous historical exhibit plus an amazing location. We had a gorgeous day — bright blue sky, deep blue water, wind surfers and sail boats out on the water.

I said if I was tourist who dreamed my whole life of visiting San Francisco and I was there that day: it would have exceeded all my expectations. It was a picture perfect day.

I have one more days worth of San Francisco trip photos. I’ll try to get those up next weekend.

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And Now A Word From Our Sponsor

Pen name is going to be at the Bay Area Book Festival this weekend (May 30-31). My panel is on Sunday at 12:45pm.

I will be on the panel with Dani Trujillo and Tashia Hart and the moderator is Naomi Darling.

Check my social media for more info.

Just kidding. This is my social media. I downloaded Instagram to my phone again and, oof. It’s hard to believe that app could get worse. They must have teams of people sitting around figuring out how to make it more terrible.

“More ads!”

“More recommended posts!”

“She looked at the bra ad. Thirty more bra ads!”

“Partial snippets of posts to a completely different app.”

“More bra ads!”

“Ways to accidentally tap something that plays a horrible song.”

My website was dead during flower season so here is a picture of my beautiful tulips. Because of the chaos in my personal life, I barely remembered to enjoy them. I also dug up some bulbs because I’m trying to put more native plants in here.

I liked this because of that one tulip next to that plant that I am completely spacing on the name of. Some kind of rose something.

Oh. I forgot to mention that giant online retailer sent me a note that the giant stack of books I ordered for the event is delayed. So unless there is a Giant Online Retailer miracle, I just bought a stack of landfill. The books are being delivered to the festival.

Everyone cross your fingers!

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Yes — I’m Back. Kinda.

I think at some point I mentioned I was going to be doing something behind the scenes to my website and it might be broken for awhile.

Well, it was worse than I imagined and let’s just say people weren’t helpful and it was super demoralizing and I don’t want to talk about it.

St. Jessica of Very Mom was kind enough to come to my rescue, completely saved my butt, and we are finally getting things back together here.

April was the 30th anniversary of this website and I had all kinds of things planned and then was out of commission the entire time.

But it wasn’t just technical issues. Life is kicking my butt at the moment and I really struggle with extra brain juice during my little patches of free time.

Even up to a weekend ago, I didn’t have the time/juice to do little things like bake. I’m still working on getting a healthy self-care routine and getting the yard whipped into shape. Also, writing is not happening right now. 🙁

Hopefully I am going to get back up to speed in the next few weeks. I have things to update.

The video clips are from a surprise visit from the deer. I haven’t seen any sign of them in long time and I noticed my plum tree looked raggedy and checked the card. Two returned. Look how big they are. I’m sad that they rip up my fruit trees but I like having wildlife in the neighborhood.

Pen name is going to be at the Bay Area Book Festival the weekend after Memorial Day. Hopefully more details to come.

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Broken Puzzle

I’ve always enjoyed jigsaw puzzles but I never really did them at home. We usually do them during family holidays.

My sister-in-law gave me a puzzle caddy for Christmas and I have been puzzling away. I am dealing with some stress in my life and I find listening to podcasts or audiobooks and working on a jigsaw puzzle to be very restorative.

But I already finished all the puzzles in the house so my brother-in-law loaned me a five-pack of puzzles with different sizes.

500 pieces is a good weekend size but I also like the bigger ones.

This Florida one is a 750 and also a good size. This was brand new — I cut open the bag and look: missing pieces.

At first I blamed myself and crawled around on the floor and moved furniture in case the pieces jumped and ran to hid on their own.

But then I realized: how could I have lost just these pieces in the corner? Must have been a factory error.

Warning: I am planning to make some changes to the website which means it probably won’t work for a while. Stay tuned.

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A New Hope

When I was at the bus stop I saw this little sign. I did not take it because I felt certain there are those who need more hope than I do.

I am kinda frazzled at the moment and really phoning in these posts.

I have a huge note in my phone with ideas and partially written posts but it seems like when I finally am seated here, ready to write something, I’m tired and in a big hurry and figure I’ll get to it later.

I will eventually. But not today.

If anyone is keeping track, next month will be 30 years since I started my blog.

I’m not sure if that is the actual original first date that I posted or maybe when I got my domain.

My blog had 3 phases. I did the HTML by hand — I was a very early adopter. But later when Blogger started, I used that for better archiving and RSS — I had reasons. But then something happened with Blogger — I know it still exists because that’s where my list of books read lives. (And now that I look at that, I haven’t updated since the beginning of the year.)

Maybe they no longer hosted domains. I don’t know. Then I started with TURDPRESS which I still don’t like — it’s constantly bugging me to update things. Sometimes I type into the search bar, leave me alone, just so I feel like I’m expressing my thoughts.

But here we are and I am not promising anything but I will try to re-post some old stuff and maybe reflect or something, if I’m feeling frisky.

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Real Items Found in My Dad’s Mailbox

This isn’t the first daffodil I saw nor the first from my garden. But, this is the first I remembered to take a photo of. The orange cup are my favorites.

In case there is anyone reading this who doesn’t already know, my dad is 95 and lives in a retirement home.

Item #1 — He received an invitation to a free meal at a nearby Red Crustacean (name changed for privacy) and a free seminar on cremation. Then there is a list of what will be on the menu — popcorn shrimp, garlic shrimp scampi and a few other choices. There will be three sessions.

People attending this seminar will be planning ahead to take the burden off their loved ones.

I did a little research into this company because of its ridiculous name and learned that the founder used to be with a different cremation company but was let go. Also, there were numerous terrible reviews that referred to this organization as a ponzi scheme.

Dad is gonna miss this one.

It took three sessions but I cleaned up the berry patch. I was pretty aggressive. Hopefully I will remember to take some photos to compare when the berries are in full season. Our favorite time of the garden!

Item #2 — He received a flier asking as a renter, if he’d ever dreamed of owning a home. The home buying team will go over first time buyer programs, what the process looks like, how to tell if you’re truly “ready” (quotes, theirs.)

Bob and I got a good laugh out of that one.

I’m going to guess that they must buy a mailing list of renters and whatever they paid, it was too much.

I should have one more for the rule of three but I don’t and I don’t want to keep these on my desk hoping a third item will show up, so that’s it for today.

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