You're Doing It Wrong

I am too grumpy to live. Not even related to taxes. I’m going to try to post with minimal whining.

This is Stumpy. I noticed him last year because he has such a freakishly short tail next to the other squirrels. Poor guy. I’ve tried to take pictures of him before but got nothing but a gray blur. I better send Carol a note and make sure she sees this.

Current trend: stores are having a tough time convincing us to buy stuff we don’t need so they’re focusing on things we need. In the last two days I’ve gotten two $25 coupons enticing me to change my prescriptions to a different pharmacy.

It’s one of my missions in life to avoid prescriptions and at least for now, I’m doing okay.

These pink tulips are among my favorites. They’ve barely come out and they already look trashy and wind blown. What happened?

I don’t understand why financial institutions (or any information collecting entity) insist on asking for every phone number known to man: day phone, home phone, cellphone. But then when they call you they leave a message only on your home phone. Where you aren’t during the day because you are at your job. The job they asked about when they agreed to deal with your financial business.

I’m in the process of moving some retirement funds and I’m certain there will be a long ranty post about this in the future. I have nothing nice to say about WaMu investment services, if you’re wondering.

Hannah gave me a waterproof tote bag a few years ago after reading this sad tale. It’s been disintegrating for some time now and I’ve been searching for an appropriate replacement. I finally decided on this. It’s not exactly what I had in mind but this thing is so durable, my heirs’ heirs will be using it. And it was a good color for the acorn appliqué that Caren and Eden gave me.

On average, I’m in the office alone about one day a week. It never fails that on those days some random stranger wanders in. We’re not a location where random people wander and it’s not the kind of business that gets people off the street. I’m always a bit uncomfortable when it happens.

We’ve had several people looking for attorneys who were not us. The people would then ask me if we did the type of law they were looking for. Seriously? Hiring an attorney that you stumble upon doesn’t seem like a good idea.

There was a guy who came in and started reading something that was on the table. “Can I help you?” I said. “I’m just delivering this phonebook,” he said and he dropped the book with a thump and left.

Then there are the cold callers. I’m never going to do business with a cold caller of any kind, ever, except for small children who come to the front door of my home and want me to buy candy to support their ballet or trip to France with the Jr. Symphony. And that’s not the same thing. It freaks me out when people come marching in the office and introduce themselves and shake my hand like we’re old friends and then start asking me questions. Apparently the words “Indian Tribe” are magic because they went on their way without a fight.

First few few tulips are peeking out in the backyard.

I’ve had a wicked headache since I woke up this morning. I don’t know what’s going on. I did not drink adult beverages and I went to bed early last night.

I hope this isn’t the prelude to some icky flu bug or my head being about to explode.

I like the daffodils with the little orange cups in the middle.

Does anyone else watch Bones and is it just me or is this season getting weirder and weirder? I can just picture a big pep talk for the writers, “We want bigger and better episodes. No character arc is too stupid. No idea is too crazy. No crime scene can be too disgusting.” Then they dared each other to see who could come up with the most insane ideas.

“Bones and Angel will join the circus.”

“We’ll explore the art world with a body found in crushed car as a work of art.”

“Something at Comic-con with people in costumes.”

“Angela will become celibate and talk about it in every episode.”

“Body will be all ground up and investigators will refer to it as chili con carne.”

The above was the opener to this week’s episode and I was eating my lunch. Gak. At least I wasn’t eating chili.

Also this week there was this bizarre break in the middle where two of the actors explained what was going on during the episode.

I don’t hate it I just think the renewed devotion to weirdness is worth noting.

The pink tree out front is finally blooming.

I used to use Tom’s of Maine toothpaste that I bought at Trader Joes. Last time I bought toothpaste, Tom’s was gone and there was a Trader’s Joe’s brand in its place.

I tried it and it tasted so awful it can only be part of dental conspiracy designed to make people avoid brushing their teeth. But I didn’t throw it away because I hate wasting things. I finally used the last little bit. Yesterday I was at Freddie’s and I found some Tom’s and I’ve been brushing every half hour ever since.

Safeway always plays fantastic music. It’s not anything you would ever listen to on purpose but when you’re in the store buying your daily supply of pasta and turnips you can boogie.

A couple of weeks ago they played this song that the Internet tells me is America:

You can do magic
You can have anything that you desire
Magic, and you know
You’re the one who can put out the fire

I had this song on my brain for days and ran around the kitchen singing this until I got it confused with an ELO song called Strange Magic.

I get a strange magic,
Oh, what a strange magic,
Oh, its a strange magic.
Got a strange magic,
Got a strange magic.

I loved ELO when I was a girl. And I kept asking Bob if we had any in the house.

His answer: NO! He hates ELO!

So I went to the Apple Store and they have the Essential ELO for $10! And I told Bob and he had an iTunes card with money left on it. And he gave it to me!

I’m listening to “Can’t Get It Out of My Head” right now. Is he the best sweetheart on the planet or what?

Update:
Me against the applemachine:
Are you sure you want the dorky America tune?
ME: yes
Apple: Give us your secret credit card code.
Me: here.
Apple: really? you want this song?
Me: yes, dammit.
Apple: We need the secret handshake and the secret codes
Me: here
Apple: and this is the song you want?
Me: yes, dammit. Stop judging me.
Apple: okay. I guess. So you want us to charge you for this?
Me: yes. For 1 freakin’ dollar. Don’t make me long for the days of the record store next the grocery store where my Mom shopped and I gave you a dollar for a single which was a tiny vinyl thing.
Apple: I guess, whatever. Shall we back this up for you?
Me: damn you apple overlord.

This photo is from Bob’s birthday but you’re supposed to be looking at an example of what the kitchen-dining room area looks like..

Update:I just want to briefly update yesterday’s post to add that when I say ” giant dining room and kitchen with an island and a giant laundry room with a half bath” I don’t mean giant like a mcmansion or a ridiculously huge space. I mean a comfortable sized space for two people with friends or family visiting.

I have a great post idea but I decided to enjoy the last day of 70’s sunshine (for now) and I puttered in the yard when I got home from work.

Then I cobbled together a decent dinner out of nothing. (I sauteed the beet greens I decided not to compost with a leftover leek and bacon and served over rice. It was surprisingly decent.)

Now it’s almost bedtime and my eyes are drooping.

These flowers are actually about as big as the end of your finger. The photo in the catalog is like this and shows a blanket of purple flowers. Awesome, I thought and I bought a bag and the squirrels ate most of them and I have three little squirts. At first glance they look like colorful bits of trash at the base of the tree.

Yesterday was one of the most fabulous days you could possibly have that doesn’t include a beachside lounge, bottomless margarita and a cabaña boy named Jorge to rub lotion on your back.

I slept in and then read in bed until Noon. Then I watched TV. Later I took a bath and read some more. Then I watched more TV. Eventually I made dinner and then more TV and then bed.

I did not do housework except at one point I forgot about that and found myself mucking out the cheese drawer in the refrigerator. And for the first time since mid-October I did not do one writing-related activity. And I ate candy and potato chips.

This is my rhubarb alien baby. Isn’t it cool? I wish the whole patch looked like this.

One of the shows I’m watching is Little Dorrit on Masterpiece Theater. I was expecting to get bored and turn it off after half an hour but I thought it was fantastic. The cast includes Gollum, Martha (Doctor Who) and Gwen (Torchwood) and apparently the Mr. Darcy from the most recent big screen version who I did not think was nearly dreamy enough but I like him in this.

The whole series is at least 10 hours so I’ve got lots more to look forward.

I’ve never read Dickens, if you can believe it. We had to read Great Expectations in high school and I had a horrible time with it and really struggled. Then the teachers went on strike and the rest of the school year was canceled and I never had to finish it.

I keep thinking I should try again as a grown-up and see how I do.

Look at this giant box of stuff that is leaving this house forever. Yay.

I’m not sure the financial industry deserves to survive. Today I went to my bank and a nice young lady with scary bright blue contacts hollered a greeting to me from across the room after I’d been the only person in line and waiting for about 10 minutes. She asked if there was anything she could do to help me.

I told her I needed some cash and, I could be mistaken but I swear she identified herself as the stage manager and said she was there to help people if they needed to fill out forms to make things go more quickly.

It was hard not to suggest that what would make things go more quickly was if she’d get her ass behind the counter and open another teller window.

Today I need to get organized. I have about 600 loose ends sitting here and I’m going to tackle that and the bottomless email inbox and see how I do.

I took some other flower pictures but there’s a rumor that it’s going to be pushing 70 degrees on Sunday and sunny. It seems a lot to hope for, but if it’s even half that good I’m going to take oodles of photos then.

This is the kitchen in the house I grew up in. I’m guessing this was taken in the 70’s. Dig the dial-phone.

I found another great photo of my 70’s bedroom to share later.

Meanwhile, for those following in at home. I finished the ginormous writing project I’ve been working on the last six months and it’s ready to submit but the online submission is fubar right now and I’ve been wrestling with it for the past two hours. Bad words omitted.

I am taking tomorrow off and spending the day wearing sweatpants and drinking hot chocolate. I am not touching my computer.

I’ll do some catching up on Friday. I’m still really grumpy.