You're Doing It Wrong

Look how this dipwit parked in front my house. No, this person was not visiting me.

I think my annoyance was out of proportion with the seriousness of the crime. It’s not like I couldn’t pull into my driveway.

But there was tons and tons of curb space available that did not partially block my driveway and the car was there for several hours. It had a big laminated sign taped to the driver’s side door that was one of those long affirmations about success and confidence that suggest to me, the driver was probably unstable.

I was irritated enough that I thought about knocking on neighbors’ doors to ask if that was their visitor and could they please move to a better spot. But then *I* would be that crazy neighbor having a snit fit when the car wasn’t hurting anyone and I’d look like an ass to the neighbor and the guest and even if they moved the car it wouldn’t be satisfying.

Then I thought about writing a note but I didn’t want to end up on passiveaggressivenotes.com. But then I thought I could take a photo and turn myself in to passiveagressivenotes.com because *that* would be satisfying.

While I was exercising I was trying to compose the perfect note with just the right mix of batshit insanity and goofy grammar. Could I work in an unnecessary apostrophe s? What color Sharpie would best get my point across?

Sadly, the car was gone before I could come up with something good.

Orange juice, mango, garden-fresh raspberries, frozen strawberries and blueberries.

Mountain of blueberry buttermilk pancakes, sausages.

Try to guess which was mine.

I’ve been busting ass all weekend so today was going to be my lazy day. Except I’ve suddenly gone mad about my hedge in the backyard with the berry vines growing in it. I’ve got jeans and long sleeves on and I’m going to get the hedge hog and go crazy on it before it gets too hot.

Happy 4th of July!

Peas

All the time I’m thinking of ideas to write better posts here. But it always seems like something I’ll have more time for next week.

Here’s another phone-er-in-er.

Apples

Way back in March I bought a couple of pairs of summery slacks and blouses for the office. Anticipating the warmer weather. Ha ha.

Last week was the first time I wore the blouses. One of them is cute but the other one is a mystery.

Maybe someone punk’d me and hid it in my closet. I couldn’t possibly have bought it on purpose.

It’s a medium-ugly pattern but the cut is ridiculous. The bottom part poofs out so that it looks like I spent the last three weeks training for a cheeseburger eating contest. And the sleeves are cut funny so that it looks like I have Pillsbury Doughboy arms.

I don’t have very many tops so I’ll probably wear it again, but it’s definitely getting burned at the end of the summer.

Raspberries

Have you ever watched rugby? I mean, if you’re not a rugby fan.

They’re really burly guys in tight shorts, I bet I could get into it if I had time for more sports.

I don’t but I’ve been seeing bits of pieces of games. It’s a crazy sport.

They throw the ball back and forth and run around and then do a tackle and make a giant dogpile. Why do you need that many guys all piled up? A few of the other guys stand around and finally the ball pops out of the dogpile and the rest of the guys start running and tossing it back and forth. Then someone kicks it.

I have no idea what’s happening but it looks really fun.

Tomorrow I will have a write-a-thon update.