Category Archives: garden

Blogging For Jesus

The title has nothing to do with anything but I had this random blip in my head of a song from way back in the early 80’s that may or may not have been on the Repoman soundtrack. (Aside: according to imbd, if you liked Repoman, another title you might like is Innerspace. Isn’t that some sort of Fantastic Journey movie where they shrink Dennis Quaid into a microship and he floats around in Joe’s spleen on a scientific mission? I’m too lazy to look it up myself but I’m just wondering how that relates to Repoman. I’m not seeing a connection of any kind.)

Back to the possibly on the Repoman soundtrack song, it went ” [ something ] for Jesus” and I can’t remember what the something was. It was funny or ironic and it was one of those bands like Social Distortion or Dead Kennedys, but probably not either of those. This is bothering me now. There’s not really a great way to look this up online given what I have. If you have any idea what I’m talking about (Erin?) let me know.

Yesterday I left the office the first legally acceptable moment and zoomed home. I really wanted to be outside but wasn’t in the mood for any hardcore digging and hoeing and raking so I found a sunny spot and took a little digging tool (old knife) and pulled weeds from the cracks in the driveway. It was wonderful.

Also, the new “walls of water” I bought at Fred Meyer were CRAP and when I got home I found the CRAP one slumped over, water drained and poor little tomato crushed into the dirt underneath. I propped it up and told it how sorry I was and took the plastic thing and tossed it aside. I think it’s going to be okay. (The tomato. The plastic things are landfill.)

Irises are blooming – gorgeous. Still lots of major projects to do out there. I need to finish dahlias before I can start anything new.

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It’s Miller Time

the garden is in

What do you think?

That’s the garden. Put it all in this afternoon. The ultimate in delayed gratification. Just a bunch of dirt now but think how great that’s going to be in a couple of months.

Mom and Erin were here this weekend and yesterday we went to the Farmer’s Market and there were heirloom tomatoes up the wazoo. I bought 4 plants this year — now I have friends at the office to share with if it gets too hairy. But also last year I made a tomato soup which was godhead. I’m not a big tomato soup fan but probably because I associate it with the acidy, tinny taste of the canned stuff. Think of that wonderful sweet, fresh, homegrown tomato taste distilled into a hot bowl of soup. If you’re not swooning, you’re not a tomato person.

I also worked on dahlias. The tubers I “saved” are trashed. I had to junk most of them. I’ve been putting them in mass graves just in case I’ve underestimated them. But then some of them look horrible and wrinkled and have tons of “eyes” on them. I ran out of gas on those early. I’m going to have to hit it next weekend. But the dirt is ready.

Also at the Farmer’s Market I saw a bunch of pretty plants that I would love to get and know just where I’d put them. But that area is not ready dirt and needs lots of TLC and I can’t imagine when I’ll get to that. I don’t have the stamina of a true gardener.

Just today I pooped out way before I was done with my chores for today. I pushed through, raking bark dust, spreading mulch and sorting through moldy tubers. That reward beer was one of the best I’ve ever tasted.

I was too tired to wash my hair except it was infused with bark dust and living dirt and I had to do it anyway. Now it’s 4pm and I’m going to catch up on my shows with a delicious drink.

Also, for those of you following along at home, I’ve been eating 3 normal food meals a day and the digestion is humming like a dream. Yay.

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Dahlia Disaster

I grew this.
Have I told you about my dahlia digging disaster? I have a hunch I did but no time to check or think of another story right now. I dug them all up in the Fall and was too lazy to process them further until I noticed they were shriveled and moldy on the garage floor.

I unclumped some, discarded oodles of moldy ones but there are still several big clods sitting on the floor in the cold garage where it’s probably been colder than had I just left them in the ground.

Oh well. Ordered another $100 bucks worth. Just a reminder that Spring is on the way.

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Mr. Pumpkin’s Wild Ride

Mr. Pumpkin's Wild Ride

Here is Mr. Pumpkin. He had a rough start in the garden since the squirrels or raccoons or something can’t resist the urge to eat them as soon as they are formed. But this guy managed to grow. We enjoyed a couple months of display on the counter and now’s time for the kill. “Come on, come on, everyone.” [obscure literary reference. who gets it?]

Mr. Pumpkin's Wild Ride

First step is to chop in half and scoop out the seeds. I have this mallet thing that I got for assembling my Anthrocart. The perfect tool for this job.

Mr. Pumpkin's Wild Ride

Mr. Pumpkin almost didn’t fit in the oven. I had to do some shelf repositioning. I was a little worried about it hanging over the edge. These puppies put out juice when they’re roasting.

Mr. Pumpkin's Wild Ride

Once he’s roasted (about 1 hour at 400 degrees) it’s a simple job to scoop out the fleshy innards. Ideally let cool a bit first. Mr. Pumpkin filled the entire bowl (at left). I let the pumpkin drain in the colander and try to squeeze out extra moisture. Then I puree in the food processor. That step is probably not necessary but I like my pumpkin smooth.

Mr. Pumpkin's Wild Ride

When done I had 5 3-cup containers of pumpkin plus I used 2 generous cups for my pumpkin cheesecakes. I have a whole tray of seeds for planting and sharing. (Let me know if you’d like some.) And I shipped a gallon of pumpkin juice to Hogwarts for the kiddies.

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The Precipitation Situation

blade
Wow, the precipitation situation went from 0 to 60 in about 4 seconds flat. I like rain as much as the next person up here but it would have been nice to have a transition period. Maybe some drizzle before the downpour. On Friday I got my hair cut and I told her not to even bother with the styling. I had tons of errands and I still hadn’t brought in the last of the tomatoes so there seemed little point in hair ironing since I’d be sporting a huge frizz bomb no matter what she did. She put it in a nice braid.

I had another busy week last week. I’m taking two classes at the moment which I didn’t intend to do, but one didn’t finish before the other started so there’s an unfortunate overlap. Plus the Noon yoga on Wednesday means that I attempt to be out the door by 7am almost every day and I get home between 7 and 9pm. It’s not horrible, it just makes accomplishing anything besides eating, sleeping and basic hygiene something of a challenge.

One thing I did do on Friday, beside paddle my canoe between my haircut and errands: I made a point of seeing Serenity a movie by Joss-is-My-Master-Now Whedon. You know, the man responsible for Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Angel (subjects of endless yammering on my part) and Firefly a TV series which was yanked off the air before its time and is the basis for the new movie.

The movie is fantastic. Adventure, humor, space battles, fights. I loved it. I was a little disappointed to see it didn’t kick more ass at the box office. World: go check out this movie.

I only have a few cucumbers in the bottom of the crisper. They look in pretty good shape but their days are numbered. I peeled and sliced a big bowl full for myself since the spousal unit is not a cucumber eater. Did another batch of tomato sauce today and will bring it to co-worker tomorrow. The spousal unit is also not big on tomatoes and I already have 4 big batches of sauce stored — no reason to go crazy.

The dahlias took quite a beating in the rain although the Emory Pauls still look great which I never would have expected. These flowers are gigantic. When they first bloomed I stood out in my yard and said: I grew this.

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I Explain Nature

This morning was nice and sunny and I thought it might be a good day to do some garden stuff. We had our trees pruned this week. Chuck normally comes in January to do the apple tree in the backyard but last year he had a back injury and somehow we fell through the cracks. Meanwhile, there was that 10 star ice storm last winter and as I understand nature, our apple tree panicked, thinking its days might be numbered it produced about 10 trillion apples which meant sagging branches. A major one broke and has dangled ever since because we are too lame to deal with it. (I even said this on the message I left for Chuck so that when he arrived, he’d know we know we’re lame. I did mention that we’re good at other things.)

I also asked him to check out the tree in front, which I, based on my limited botanical knowledge (read: none), have designated as an “ornamental cherry.” I thought it could use some shaping. He worked on them both and they look fantastic (as much as a pruned tree in winter can look.)

We need to put the debris into the bins for garden waste pick up and if you go at the pruning waste with clippers you can fit a lot more in. Plus I need to whack back my roses b/c the lady in the Oregonian said you should so that around now.

These were the things I had planned for the day. HOWEVER, I needed to finish reading my book (Straight Man, thanks Hannah) and of course, it always takes longer to read the last 100 pages than you think it will so at 12:30 pm I was still in bed reading, my yoga practice long abandoned.

At some point the sun disappeared. I opened the shades so I could read better. When I was about 10 pages from the end I heard the rain fall. I looked out to make sure that’s what was happening and yup, cold drippy rain.

I’m dressed now in my garden clothes, just in case things clear up and I can work out there later. But Bob already has been out there AND I have fresh Buffy in the DVD so you take your bets on how this afternoon is going to turn out.

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And I Thought I Had Nothing To Say

You know, sometimes several days go by when I loathe even the sight of my computer. I don’t want to sit here even long enough to read the latest email. It’s been like that this week. Generally I end up blogging after having a couple of refreshing adult beverages and I haven’t been into the adult beverages much since it’s cold and beer is less interesting, (not out of the picture by any means, only less interesting) and the bottle of wine I bought this week was total swill and I had only about 1 glass and had a total “I need pizza” hangover the next morning. I’m guessing beverage influence explains why when I read my posts later to see how they sound there’s always an incoherent aside or an egregious homonym error or an overall “how many points am I trying to make” loopiness. I am completely sober at this moment.

Here are a few notes about my week: (1) My latest disc of Angel was not premium. That show did lose it in the middle of season 4. Dragging talking head episodes with never-ending fights and Cordy turning into a bad guy. Snore. I still watched it all and the one stingy little extra so far which was a humdrum commentary by a director and producer guy. Meanwhile, Lost keeps getting better and I will admit to watching Desperate Housewives as my guilty pleasure. (2) Yesterday I finally vacuumed – yay. (3) Bob got me into Get Fuzzy. We got a book which I inhaled in about 3 days, even staying up late to read “just a few more pages.” I love Bucky. (4) Last night I did a yoga workshop with Angela Farmer and Victor van Kooten which was fantastic. They are amazing teachers. (5) At the moment I’m reading a YA book by Peter Dickinson who is a fantastic writer. I read Eva several years and I still think about it. The one I’m reading now is The Ropemaker.

(6) I was in bed reading the book several hours ago when I noticed that the sun was out and it seemed foolish to sit indoors on my ass when this might be the sun’s last appearance on a weekend day until some bone-chilling ugly day in December so I put on old jeans and ran outside and pulled up the last of the cosmos and dug up a few weeds. I lost my weed fork – they almost always turn up later but it’s been several weeks so I can only assume that it went in the garden refuse. I wonder how many garden implements they get because I’ve lost a number that way. I bought a new, fancy weed fork and it’s crap. It’s somehow smaller and flimsier and total crap. Remember the olden days when things were more expensive but not so crappy? I also finally dug up two rose bushes. I’ve been threatening to do it for some time and gave them plenty warning but they did not improve. Their crime: being ugly. They grew giant long skinny branches and in the spring they’d bloom a teeny bit with wispy red flowers that drooped towards the dirt. Then they’d never bloom again, only shooting green scratchy branches. They’re gone now. I need to plant some more stuff there right away or I never will and I’ll be one of those people with scary yard with 1 or 2 plants and tons of bark dust. ooh: pretty. As I worked I could see black roiling clouds moving my way and heard a few choice cracks of thunder. I hurried. When I felt the first few drops I moved most of my stuff in but I still had a hoe in my hands to do “one more thing.” Bob came out to ask me something and the sky broke open and we had to run for it. It went from 0 to 60 in about a half minute.

(7) I bought clothes at Ann Taylor Loft and I think I’ve finally evolved out of my: black-grey-black theme. I bought brown. I know, personal growth is exciting. I also bought something pink. Seriously. It’s not barbie-pink, it’s darker. I’m sure there’s some fashion type name for it like: blush or conch, I couldn’t tell you. But I will be wearing a pink sweater with weird tie-things on it. It’s so not me. (I just looked to see if Crayola had a name for my pink and found this website with the history of crayon colors. The Internet has everything.)

(8) Wow, I thought I had nothing to say and look at all this yammering. We’re off to see Hero.

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The Post You’ve Been Waiting For

Okay, now what you were waiting for … a post about rhubarb. When I started my garden several years ago, I mentioned to Auntie that I had a bunch of random chard growing in my yard and she said it sounded like rhubarb, she’d never see chard volunteer before. Thank God I never tried to eat it since it is rhubarb and the leaves are totally toxic. Every year my little rhubarb has sprouted out and every year I’ve ignored it. This year it was huge and I harvested some and made rhubarb brown betty. Turns out rhubarb comes from a rhizome, which I learned from rhubarb info.com and I can divide my root mass and get lots more rhubarb. Billy says in Wyoming rhubarb grows like weeds. I’m going to divide my rhubarb and grow tons until people are stopping by, begging for my rhubarb and the brown betty recipe.

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Don’t Block the Cheese

I have been in an advanced negative mood for several days now and when I think about writing here I can only come up with a range of thematically linked rants like about jerkoff entitled SUV drivers on cellphones driving like idiots who don’t even wave politely to say thanks when you award their bad behavior by letting them cut in [these are the same people that back in high school were only your friend when they were copying your homework] or the same folks running around Trader Joe’s with their cellphone headsets gabbing away [“look at me, look at me”] while blocking three quarters of the cheese display and I won’t even get into the national or global stuff. I need to focus my energy on more positive things.

On that note, I’ve been digging around in the yard and I didn’t lose all my dahlias in the big freeze. I’ve found sproutage in all three key dahlia areas. I still haven’t planted my new bulbs — according to the directions I can do it this month. I want to put them on the east (?) side of the backyard but the soil desperately needs to be amended and we have to finish cutting back the hedges. Bob just bought a hedge cutter — after living here 5 years. You can bet those hedges are out of control.

I finally saw Gladiator which I never saw on big screen because of the violence and sheet-howdy. Good call. That was one gory picture. Those ancient Romans sure had nutty ideas about entertainment.

Here’s a Bob story. He took his bike in to get it tuned up and when he went to pick it up, he realized that in the new tuned up condition he couldn’t get the front tire off as easily (or something like that) to get it in the car. So he decides to put it in the trunk and tie the trunk lid down but then he realizes he has nothing to tie it with: no bungees, no rope. What can he use? (how Bob is this?) He ends up finding an old cable from a Zip Drive and it worked like a charm.

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Pretend to Take Action

I cleaned out the front flower bed this past weekend. It needed it badly. One of the plants I bought last year did not come with a warning sticker: “this will take over your yard.” I didn’t notice how much it had spread around until I started digging. I thought about pulling the whole thing out but I’m going to wait and see what it’s doing at the end of the Summer. I’m sure that at the end of the summer I’ll decide to wait and see what it’s doing next Spring. This is the way I pretend to take action while actually putting off taking action. It’s a great system.

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