Category Archives: Clarion West

Big Announcement: RED TAPE Story Collection

I’ve been talking about this forever, but FINALLY! My story collection is out into the world and available for eReaders.
It’s called: Red Tape Stories from Indian Country.

It’s a collection of nine speculative fiction stories including three that were already published. All the stories have some connection to the people and lands of the Karuk Tribe.

Here’s the Table of Contents and a little bit about the stories.

The Battle of Little Big Science
(previously appeared in Asimov’s Science Fiction) This was my Clarion West week #3 story.

Estelle Makes the Casino Run
(previously appeared in Innsmouth Free Press) I wrote this for a contest with my Clarion West classmates.

Social Security
(previously appeared in The Wordstock Ten) This was my submission story for Clarion West.

Field Work
This was my Clarion West week #2 story. Are you seeing a theme here?

The Medicine Woman of Talking Rock
Yup, Clarion West Week #5.

Clarion West Week #6. This was me trying to do something different since you’re supposed to stretch yourself at the workshop.

Trusted Leader
This was my Week #7 story – the first thing I wrote after I left the workshop. The process was gruesome but I like the way it came out after about 5000 drafts.

Fish Killer
This story has nothing to do with Clarion West. I was upset about the dredge mining situation on the Klamath and needed to work it out.

The Casino Gargoyle
This was another submission story I wrote when I misunderstood the application instructions.

All of this can be yours with just a few clicks.

It’s available for Kindle at Amazon or in all other formats at Smashwords.

Special thanks goes to my Clarion West class and instructors. Also giant tower of thank you pies to Douglas Lucas for help with finalizing the manuscript and Eden Robins for the title. (Note to Douglas and Eden, that tower of thank you pies is a figure of speech. Don’t expect an actual tower of pies.)

Posted in Clarion West | Tagged , | 3 Comments

Clarion West Write-A-Thon Wrap Up

In honor of the Timbers match tonight, these are sunflowers in my garden. (Here’s the link if you want to get the reference.

Week #6 words: 3099
Stories submitted: 0

Total words written for the entire WAT: 25,020
Total stories submitted: 2

I exceeded my goals.

And, now that I’ve signed the contract, I can announce that I sold one of the stories I submitted.

Yay, the 19 month sales-free drought is finished. (Yes, technically I sold 2 reprints of one of my stories during that time. But, come on, does Limahl call his Mom every time “Too Shy” makes into another 80’s compilation?)

My story “Lottie Versus The Moon Hopper” was accepted into the anthology Future Lovecraft to be published by Innsmouth Free Press at the end of the year. Don’t worry, I’ll announce it a million times when it comes out.

Huge thanks to everyone involved with the write-a-thon, especially my sponsors. I will send you all personal love notes thanking you soon.

It’s never too late to donate. There’s info here and my donation page is here.

Posted in Clarion West | 4 Comments

Week #5 Beg-A-Thon Update

Another busy day.

Here’s a quick update on my write-a-thon progress:

Words: 3490 (Goal 3000/week)
Stories submitted: 0 (Goal 1 during the write-a-thon, I’ve submitted 2)

Today I opened up a story that I thought was almost finished and I could submit before the end of the write-a-thon. Turns out, it’s a bit of a disaster. We’ll see if I can get it together in time. I’m going to try.

There is still plenty of time to donate and I would love it. Even just a few bucks would be fantastic. Instructions for donating here or my donation page.

Thanks for supporting nerd writers.

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WEEK #4 Beg-A-Thon Update

These ladies thought it was weird that I took a photo of the official crunch of the Portland Timbers. Do they not understand obsessive documentation?

Very quick update as I am so busy I am moving at the speed of light. You can’t even see me right now. So maybe faster than the speed of light? Whatever, you science nerd pedants.

I am going to be taking a nice long computer free weekend and going to do some fun things so I have been cramming to get my Write-A-Thon goals completed.

Here is it:

Words written: 3263 (goal 3000 per week)
Stories submitted: 1 (goal 1 during the WAT; this is my second)

You can still give money if you feel left out. I’m very close to my goal so a couple bucks could push me over the top.

Here are all the instructions for donating or you can go directly to my donation page.

And a super huge thanks everyone who made a contribution.

Posted in Clarion West, doing it wrong | 1 Comment

Beg-A-Thon Update: Week #3

First dahlia of the season! I should probably take another photo in a few hours to make it prettier but I can’t plan my entire evening around my dahlia.

Here’s the Week #3 Write-A-Thon Results

Words Written: 3496 (goal 3000/week)
Stories Submitted: 0 (goal 1 during the WAT which I did last week)

The coming week is crazy busy. I’m not sure how I’m going to make my goal but I’ll do my best.

And special message for Turdpress: screw you you needy, demanding crapbag. If I one opportunity to use time travel and only one, of all things I could choose to do, I would go back and NOT PICK YOU.

Posted in Clarion West, doing it wrong | 3 Comments

Beg-A-Thon Week #2 Update

Words written: 5450 (goal 3000)
Stories submitted: 1 (goal 1 during the write-a-thon)

Yeah, I still look like an over-achiever. Believe me I have had some pitiful weeks of writing this year. I made-up for my poor showing at the beginning of June so I could hit that goal. And I’m going to submit at least one more story during the write-a-thon, maybe two if I get crazy.

Actually, I working like a maniac now because after this weekend the rest of the month is insanely busy so I’m trying to get the work done while I can.

It’s not too late to make a donation. Even $5 would be hugely appreciated. I’ve got some donations but I still don’t even have my first $100 to match.

Here are all the instructions for donating or you can go directly to my donation page.

Thanks everyone who made a contribution.

Jeld-Wen Field. I mistype that as Jelf-Wen every time. I’m just going to start calling it that.

Tonight is the first of six home games this month. SIX! Half of those are exhibition games and to be honest, I don’t understand the point of so many exhibition games in the middle of MLS season. But I’m going to show up and eat my pizza and drink my beer and not complain.

I did not plan to make a pie this weekend. In fact, I was planning to make lemon buttermilk ice cream and exploit the giant bag of lemons we were gifted with this week.

However I saw this 10 minute lime cracker pie. I still had limes and heavy cream leftover from previous pie making adventures. I didn’t have crackers but one of the comments mentioned graham cracker crust and I still have graham crackers from an earlier pie. Let me tell you, this thing is so sweet it will put hair on your chest. I think the graham cracker crust is too much. I think it would work better with the crackers. And I might just try it when we visit the family next month.

That’s it for now. I need to weed and bathe and nap and get ready for my game tonight. Timbers!

Posted in Clarion West, cooking, TIMBERS! | Comments Off on Beg-A-Thon Week #2 Update

Beg-A-Thon Week #1 Results

I ran out of See’s candy and I don’t want to drive all the way to the mall for just that one thing. I found this at the grocery store and it is terrific. I let Bob try it but then I had to hide it from him.

I ended up writing my face off today and I need to go to bed so my Write-a-thon Week #1 (which ended yesterday) results will be brief.

Words written: 6249 (goal 3000/wk)
New Stories Submitted: 0 (goal 1 during the write-a-thon)

I know it looks like I’m being an overachiever here. I make monthly goals, too, and I’ve been behind on my June goal so I had to make it up. Plus I have two stories that are this close to going out the door and I was really pouring it on to try to get those finished.

If you’d like to contribute the info is here: Clarion West Write-A-Thon 2011 and here’s the direct link to sponsor me.

Posted in Clarion West, doing it wrong | 1 Comment


Sticker on a light-pole near Jeld-Wen Field.

You know what never gets old? People asking you for money.

Just kidding!

Of course it gets old. Every day when I’m downtown I’m chugged and spanged until I think cruel things about the unfortunate. [Note: those links not necessarily suitable for all ages].

People are always telling you it’s for “a good cause” and “think of the children!”

But think about this.

What would the world be like if there were no stories about vampires, wizards, spaceships or dragons? No stories about magic monkeys, alien sex, [Warning: that story is not for folks of a delicate nature] sentient computer disks, eternally trapped spirits, magical cards or Indians with time machines.?

Getting a little funny feeling in your stomach?

I thought so.

Here’s your big chance to help speculative fiction nerds go to summer camp and write great stories.

Once again, I’m raising money for the Clarion West Writers Workshop. You might remember me doing this in 2009 and 2010.

Here are my posts from when I attended the workshop in 2008:

[NOTE: Actually the links don’t work because turdpress so royally screwed up my archives when I had to migrate from blogger. I’ll come back and fix later.] [FIXED!]

Overview, Week 1, Week 2, Week 3, Week 4 part 1, Week 4 part 2, Week 5 and Week 6.

I can’t possibly convey what an amazing experience it was for me. I still think about it every day.

How can you help? Sponsor me or someone with some of your hard earned cash. Any donation from $1 to $1 million will be happily accepted. Even more than $1 million would be fine. You know that little jar you have in your laundry room where you put the change that falls out of everyone’s pockets? Just empty out that and send it. That would be great. And if you have no money your kind thoughts will do.

In return I am pledging to write at least 3000 words a week and I will revise and submit one story.

Here’s all the info you need to contribute: Clarion West Write-A-Thon 2011 and here’s the direct link to sponsor me.

I’ll post an update every week to let you know how I’m doing. I’ll also send out some annoying spamela emails with additional begging so be on the look out for that!

Also, I’m matching the first $100 so if you donate now, it’s like, doubled.

Thanks for supporting nerd writers!

Posted in Clarion West | 1 Comment

From the Notes Stuck All Over My Desk

Office utility room before.

The weather lady said it was going to be 85 today. The first time it’s been that warm here since September 3rd. I cried a little when I read that. I got my new bathing suit out and a tub of SPF 5000, I can just dunk and go sit in the backyard and bake away.

After I watch the soccer game.

Office utility room after.

I have some advice. I think I’ve given it before but I fell victim to this yet again and I should know better. I’m reminding you. Write this down.

Never give a lawyer the only copy of something. Never. Don’t even let him (or her) touch it. Not even if s/he says they’re just taking it back to the office to make a copy and will bring it right back to you. Don’t do it. That document will disappear forever and make trouble for you.

I5 Interstate Bridge

For this week’s pie I tried Coconut-Sweet Potato Pie with Spiced Crust and it did not turn out wonderful. My spiced crust came out doody. I think the graham cracker stuff was a tad stale (my fault) but also the coconut bits give it a weird, unappealing bite. The filling was also, just okay. Of course we’ll still eat it but this will not be going into rotation.

Self Explanatory

I keep a piece of paper and a pen next to the TV so I can jot down things I want to remember later. I live in never-ending fear of forgetting something and I always think of things I don’t want to forget when I’m watching TV. Hence the system.

Of course, the notes are always cryptic and often written in semi-darkness so later when I look at my piece of paper it says stuff like: “make list [indecipherable]” or “make cook and do.” This week I found a note that says “long term plan, do it now.” I guess that’s not going to happen. I’m sure I’ll end up okay.

Last item: my story The Battle of Little Big Science has been reprinted at Expanded Horizons so if you haven’t seen it, now’s your big chance. Editor Dash found a great photo to post with it, too.

Posted in baking disasters, Clarion West, doing it wrong | 3 Comments

Best Weekend Ever (So Far)

I got home from Wisconsin last night and I’ve been playing catch up today.

Among, the things I’ve been trying to accomplish today, there’s an item that concerns my webhosting. I’m not even going to try to explain it because it would bore your face off but the net result is this question: is there any webhost that can walk and chew gum at the same time?

The first problem was that no one informed me there was a problem. The thing I’m trying to do wouldn’t work but I didn’t know why, only that nothing was happening. So I did some investigating and fixed the thing that made it not work. Then I tried to do my thing again but I got a new problem message.

It was like no matter how specifically I tried to articulate my question, they managed to dumb it down and answer with something completely worthless. Then I’d refine my question, and, of course, there’s no continuity, each time I lobbed it back at them I’d get a new person, who mangled my question into some other direction.

It’s like if you took your car in and said, “I’m having trouble starting my car, what’s going on with it?” And the reply was, “You’re having trouble because you bought a car,” and then you said, “I understand that I bought a car, but sometimes, in the morning it won’t start. Why won’t it start?” and then the reply was, “Many people use their cars in the morning. Your car can be used in the morning.”

I think on this last round, we’re getting somewhere but now I’m half bald from pulling my hair out in aggravation.

Meanwhile, check out the photos from my visit to Forevertron this weekend. I have a lot more good ones and I’ll post on Flickr next weekend. (Hopefully.)

Posted in Clarion West, pamily | 6 Comments