You're Doing It Wrong

Hey, guess what I did today?

This has been on my list for several weekends. It’s been that thing that I was determined to do next and never got around to.

We have every-other-week yard debris pick-up and tomorrow is the pick up day so I made sure our tub was full.

Yes, it is crooked. My arms got tired and I sloped unexpectedly.

There’s another hedge in back I want to turn into an alien head. I have no experience at sculpting hedges. But I guess worse-case-scenario I have a hideous shaped hedge in my backyard. Maybe next weekend.

During the gardening today I managed to smash my right pointer finger between something and now it’s bruised and hurts. But I can still type.

The weather report tells me we’re in for several days of hot followed by a day with some rain and then back to medium. I’m watering like crazy in what’s left of the backyard because I have a busy week and it’s going to have to fend for itself until rain day.

I like the idea of iTunes and being able to have all my music in one place but I also find it overwhelming. Every time I go to organize a new playlist or add some songs, there’s so much stuff. It’s too much.

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True story, I think about the holidays starting in September. Not because I’m one of those people who lives for the holidays but more because I like to get a head-start so that I don’t have to go out in the the dark rains of December and fight the crowds to get my shopping done. Or else pay an extra $15 to make sure the thing is shipped in time.

Lately I’ve been overwhelmed by how much stuff I have. All my drawers and cupboards seem stuffed and every time something new shows up I have to poke around to find a place to put it. I was thinking for Christmas this year, I’d like to give everyone a bag and invite them to come over and take some of my stuff. Maybe a book or a knickknack or a kitchen gadget.

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I have my stack of bulb catalogs here and still can’t decide what to do. Last year I bought 108 and it was a drag putting them in the ground but I enjoyed the flowers when they arrived.

The way things are going now, I’m trying to simplify and I’m betting I’ll be happy I don’t have a giant bag of bulbs to stick in the ground in the Fall. The bulbs from last year will still be there in the Spring.

I can’t decide.

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Is the quality of rubberbands slipping? This has been bothering me for a long time. I’m a big fan of the rubberband, especially the big giant ones that you use for holding together stacks of documents. I once bought some florescent ones for the office and was sad when I used the last one. I didn’t see them in the catalog we use to buy office supplies and haven’t seen them in a store again.

I use small ones, too. For holding together cords and cables. And I use one around my checkbook to keep it from flapping open and also for holding a pen. These are great tips. Try it at home.

I always have a bunch of rubberbands hanging off my bulletins boards and other office props, at home and work. And it seems like half the time they’re all dried up and break the minute I stretch them. Are they supposed to be stored in an airtight container? Once you use them they’re out in the world. They should be more durable than that.

This is a photo from December 2004 at a Frankfurt U-Bahn station. I’m sure I’ve posted it or a version of it before. There’s no particular reason I’m posting it now, I just like the photo.

Here’s a note from my “things to blog about” scrap of paper at the office. The office scrap has some good ideas but they are long and would take some thought and research and I’m not sure when I’m going to get around to that.

I think I’m finally accepting that I am incapable of getting my act together at the moment and this is how it’s going to be.

But this is the note: “Invent a word for when someone tries to elevate something they did for you to more than it is.”

I wish I could remember what prompted this.

I started watching Siskel & Ebert with Bob when we first started living together.

It was a good show for us because they covered a good mix of the big dumb blockbusters and independent films. We can appreciate both. And we watched the show long enough to know how our film tastes measured up with theirs.

We stuck with it after Siskel died and watched Roger with a long line of guests. We still liked the show when Roeper joined. Roeper often surprised us. There would be a ridiculous stinky looking movie previewed and we’d look at each other and say. “Roeper is going to hate this one.” And then he would love it.

We’ve been watching Roger left hoping it would be temporary but Roger never returned.

We knew that Ebert and Roeper were leaving but we didn’t know when. There was a show waiting in the DVR last night and we assumed that was the last one. Instead, it was the new show and we didn’t make it past 60 seconds of introduction. It was horrific smooth talking salesmen in shiny suits.

I’m having trouble summing up why we liked the Ebert versions for so long but hated the new slick show that to be honest we didn’t even give a real chance. I always felt like Ebert and guests were smart people that were giving their opinions and if they loved a big dumb action movie or discovered a fabulous performance in a little undiscovered indy film they’d tell you. The new show felt completely phony.

I like my junk food but I generally eat foods that are good for me. Especially in the morning. My normal breakfast is some kind of plain yogurt, fruit and granola combination.

Since I got back from the workshop, I make my yogurt and come sit at my desk and I never want to eat it. I want potato chips. See’s chocolate. Or today: macaroni salad.

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Here’s a story from yesterday. We were walking to lunch and there was a homeless person outside that ubiquitous coffee place that starts with S and ends UCKS who seemed to be minding his own business. A coffee place customer was on his feet and loudly telling the homeless guy to leave him alone. He had this robotic voice and repeated over and over: “Sir, if you don’t leave me alone I will use a weapon.” We walked away as fast as we could.

There are two that are this big out there. Plus I have about 4 smaller ones. Not bad.

I thought I’d gather up all my little scraps on my desk that say: blog idea and do one giant post except I don’t understand most of them.

The following are all notes from when we went to the movies.

How come families on TV or in movies never have small kitchens?

Grace Park is in a new show? What about Boomer?

Instead of all the stupid commercials the theater plays while you wait, they should have readings of classic short stories. And advertise where you can buy the books. They’d probably figure out a way to stupidfy it.

I’ve been a notary public in the state of Oregon since 1992. Only because of work and my special services are rarely needed. I’m only on page 7 of my 90 page “Journal of Notarial Acts.” I haven’t notarized anything since July of 2007.

I’m not trying to drum up business if that’s what you’re thinking. I don’t charge anyway.

I’m bringing this up because I received a solicitation to join the National Notary Association this week. For $52 here are the fabulous things I get:

A bonus gift. An Oregon Notary Law Primer – “124 pages of hard-to-find information every Notary needs to know.” Every four years when I renew my notary commission, the State of Oregon sends me a heavily padded “Notary Public Guide” that is 88 pages long including the index.

What hard-to-find information could these 124 pages possibly hold?

My membership also includes unlimited toll-free hotline support. Answers to all my notary questions. Why bother with the Oregon Law Primer?

Monthly updates – a magazine and a newspaper because you know, I’m always sitting around wishing I had more stupid stuff to read.

Also: a website with members-only forum, advocacy to protect my notary interests, identity theft insurance and discounts to the usual (vague reference to insurance, DHL, Hertz).

I would make a crack about how I wouldn’t mind if they had a national conference I could go to. But they do have a national conference and if someone paid my way I would not spend one minute conferencing. I would sit by the pool and I wouldn’t miss anything.

Where Can I Find Native American Porn? (Sherman Alexie joins Dan Savage).

I realize again that I need to drastically revise my vision of what it means for me to have my act together.

Long weekend. I thought I’d get all kinds of things done. I did spend some quality time with Bob. And I baked a loaf of bread. And I did some writing. Only some.

I’m trying to get through the first season of Mad Men. (Aside: both Saffron and Connor are in it.) It’s taken me a month to get through 4 episodes because I can’t even find time to watch TV. I have no idea what I’m doing but it’s keeping me busy.

And I have another super busy week. Maybe next weekend I can get organized. (ha!)

Yesterday, for at least the first half of the day, Murphy and his law seemed to have taken us under his wing.

We went to the Farmer’s Market and that part was fine. We bought as much loot as we could carry including me buying a giant bag of peaches so I could make a peach pie.

Eden read about my latest pie crust disaster and offered to send me a fool-proof recipe.

[Aside: Long story short, I have a LiveJournal now. Too. Generally I just cross-post to both but my FTP was down so I just posted on LJ. I know it’s confusing. Don’t worry about keeping up.]

She has only known me since Jun 21 08 and doesn’t know that I have been having pie crust disasters for years. I should go back through those posts and make “pie crust disaster” one of my labels.

Here’s a great reason why it’s awesome to have science geeks for friends. From Eden:

But it’s neat: you mix butter and shortening so you get the flavor of butter but the consistency of using shortening (which has a higher melting point, thus it doesn’t release a bunch of water into the dough, making it tough and gluten-y) and you use vodka and water for the same reason (water + flour = tough pie crust). The alcohol is wet but not water, so it makes it light and flaky and the alcohol taste boils off in the oven! woo!

My result was nothing that would win a state fair, but a nice turn out from someone of my limited skills. (Photo in a minute.)

We didn’t have vodka so I put it on my list for Saturday morning. As I drove to the farmer’s market I remembered I used the last of the tapioca on the strawberry-rhubarb so I would have to stop at Safeway for that.

I’m skipping some of the Murphy things which weakens my thesis statement but whatever. We left the market to go the government operated liquor store (Because it’s still 1906 in Washington. Seriously, if I had time and money to kill I would make it my mission in life to get hard alcohol sold in regular stores like in California. This special store thing is stupid.), it wasn’t open until 11am. We arrived at 10:40am.

Since we had to go to Safeway too, we decided to drive up to Hazel Dell and by the time we purchased our tapioca the liquor store up there would be open. So now we’re at Safeway at almost 11am on a Saturday of a holiday weekend. I make a special point of not going to the grocery store (or leaving the house, even) on Saturday and this trip reminded me why. Too many carts. Blah blah. Plus, we couldn’t find the tapioca and wandered up and down the aisles. It’s near the pudding mixes. Long lines. Blah blah.

Then to the liquor store which was open. And while we were there we stocked up and brought home $75 worth of booze. I was already feeling better.

I really wanted to get some writing done and I’d already been distracted a couple of times but I thought I could whip out the pie real quick and then have the afternoon. All season I’ve had peaches where the peels fell off when you look at them. These did not.

So now I had to boil water and do that whole routine and it’s not like it was hard, it was just a whole additional step and a whole bunch more dishes and whine whine. All I wanted was to whip out one stupid pie.

I forgot to explain what that gadget is at the top. I just started subscribing to several podcasts: EscapePod, PodCastle and The New Yorker. I put the stories on my iPod and then listen to them on the bus or on this handy portable speaker thing that Bob gave me a couple of years ago. I feel bad that I don’t use it more. I listen to stories while I cook. The only drawback is that I can’t hear if the sink is running or if Bob arrives to tell me something. There’s probably some remote control gadget out there that would come in handy. I don’t understand why it’s so hard to pause on an iPod.

I dipped my peaches in boiling water, dunked them in an ice bath and peeled and sliced into a bowl. Halfway through I remembered that I gave two pies as gifts last week and I don’t have a pie plate at home.

Bob had just left for the store because we forgot something else. (argh!) But I really hate stuff taking up space in my house that I don’t use and 3 pie pans is a bit much.

So I used a pyrex brownie pan:

Pretty cool, huh? After all the setbacks and the grumpy, this was a fabulous deep dish peachy delicious wonder. I probably underbaked it by half-a-tad but still magically delicious. The recipe calls for lemon juice and lemon zest so it has a nice lemony taste. Yum. Totally worth it.

I forgot the mention the part about finding a dead cat in our yard. Part of me felt bad like this poor little beat up cat had to die alone in our yard. The other part of me felt like: ew! dead cat. Bob was a prince and dealt with it.

Moving on. Bob and I went to see Vicky Cristina Barcelona and if that’s not ringing a bell, it’s the movie where Penelope Cruz and Scarlett Johansson snog for about 11 seconds. I wouldn’t call us huge Woody Allen fans but we’re admirers and we both liked this film and talked about it a lot afterward. It also made me want to go to Barcelona. Stat.

Today I wrote for half the day (woohoo!) and tried unsuccessfully to do some yardwork. Everytime I go outside it starts pouring. It’s amazing to have so much power.