Category Archives: garden

Garden Report

Here’s the garden patch way back in the spring.

Here’s the garden patch once I finally got off my butt and threw a few things in there.

Here it is now although now means a couple of days ago. I picked all the peas in the lower right and yanked the plants.

Earlier I did a lot of tough love on the sunflowers but not tough enough. It’s so hard for me to pull stuff out. I like to give everything a chance. But between the apples and the sunflowers the tomatoes are awfully crowded.

A couple of the tomato plants are tall and have lots of yellow flowers but I don’t even see a tiny green tomato yet.

I’ve still got some greens although stuff is bolting. I have a volunteer squash of some kind. The raspberries have finally slowed down. I need to find my notebook and see if it’s time to start clearing out dead wood yet.

The potatoes are going like crazy. This represents only a partial harvest. I still have at least three other potato areas that need digging plus I think I spotted a plant hiding in the raspberries.

I love digging potatoes. It’s like magic. You pull up a tired looking green plant. You stick your shovel carefully into the dirt and turn it over. Magic: potatoes. I made a potato salad today and ate about a pound for lunch.

I started the lemon cucumbers on the windowsill. Yes, kind of late. My cucumbers have been sorry for the last three years so it’s just a formality at this point.

I planted these guys yesterday and now they’re wilting in the fairly mild heat. Toughen up my pretties!

I started pumpkins on the windowsill, too. They’ve been in the ground at least three weeks. I also have some volunteer pumpkins that are doing fantastic. This vine has three little yellow balls and it’s shooting across the yard.

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The Berry Invasion Has Begun

Last Sunday I was all excited because I found a few berries and it looked like a few more would be getting ripe soon.

This weekend was another one where all the time got away from me and there I was doing my 30 minute gardener routine. I saw some berries out of the corner of my eye and I ran out there before dinner to see how many I could pick.

I quickly filled up my bowl and had to run back for the second container. That’s all from one week. There’s a ton more out there.

I need to start planning berry goodies.

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Walking in Place

Kira these are the raspberries. I found a few ripe ones today.

Since the beginning of the year I keep thinking I have one more big project to finish and then I’ll have a weekend where I can take it easy and catch up on all these loose ends that are getting looser by the minute.

This weekend didn’t work out with extra time either.

If I owe you a phone call or note or said I’d do something for you — maybe next weekend. I have one more big project to finish.

I haven’t even had time to watch all my soccer. One game a day is all I’ve managed to cram in. And none of the games I’ve seen so far has blown my socks off. Who should we root for in England v. France tomorrow?

Every time there’s a once in a lifetime astronomy event, I never pay much attention because it’s cloudy here 385 days a year. There was that venus across the sun thing happening and it was not cloudy so I went and did the homework to see how I could go about viewing it. The instructions said to go some place where they’re projecting it and watch it there.

I’m thinking: watch it projected or wait until tomorrow and look at it on the Internet, what’s the difference?

I also tried just looking at the sun even though the directions said not to. It just looked bright and hurt my eyes.

I baked another loaf of total fail bread. The crust is like crumpled concrete. The inside is dense and tasteless. I can’t understand what I’m doing wrong. I need to get out all my bread notes and see if I can troubleshoot it. Baking bread used to be my super power.

I can hardly keep my eyes open so I’m going to bed.

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Garden Update

I won’t write any more about snails but know that I could. A lot more.

The tomatoes that I grew from seeds have been put out in the yard into the walls of water. I forgot to make a note to remind me what kind I saved. Probably whatever produced the best which was either Stupice or Early Girls or possibly Romas. I’m going to buy a couple more plants from the farmers market. I think I’m going to skip the more exotic varieties as they never seem to produce many tomatoes and the ones they do seem to go bad more quickly than I can deal with them.

Currently I have what looks like an abundance of potatoes. Since last fall whenever I found wrinkly potato in the back of the bin I ran out and buried it and now they’re everywhere. There are tons and tons of raspberry blossoms. I’ve got mesclun greens coming in. The apple tree looks loaded. I’m going to have to thin some of it out or hit my head on low drooping branches all summer. Peas are growing like crazy. The sunflower sprouts are everywhere. It’s looking good out there given how neglectful I’ve been. I’ve been preoccupied with other projects and the garden has been close to dead last in the priority list.

The pumpkins sort-of slipped my mind. I’m going to start in the house this weekend.

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Infestation

I have picked so many giant snails out of my front yard, I’m starting to fear going out there. Normally I just pick the ones I find in the process of my regular gardening. On Sunday it was drizzling which is perfect snail picking weather, if you didn’t know, and I got my bucket and went to town. I stuck my gloved hands into corners and moved rocks and dug around in bushes.

And I kept finding more and more and more snails. Big giant ones. On the lawn. In the future pumpkin patch area. Around the porch. By the window. It started freaking me out. Where are all these snails coming from?

I don’t know anything about snail biology and I don’t want to but I found two on the tree that were all tangled up and apparently getting it on. Can’t they do that in someone else’s yard?

And of course I read too many Stephen King stories when I was a kid and in the back of my mind I can’t help but worry what will become of me if the snails take over the world.

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Another Shot of the Apple Tree

I don’t think that other photo really captures how pretty it is so I tried again. This isn’t much better but it’s the best I can do with my cheapass cameras and my skill set.

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Jump The Garden Wall

We had amazing soul-transforming weather three days in a row over the weekend. We also had a soccer game and some visiting fans of the away team wrote about their visit to Portland. One of the things they commented on was how to them it was just a nice day in April but the locals were running around stoned out of their minds on heat and vitamin D.

It’s gray and raining again. Whew! That was enough open-toed shoes and not carrying around a raincoat for me.

I finally figured out what was going on with my iPod. Remember back in February I was on a road trip and it kept repeating the same song over and over? I don’t use my iPod every day and I forgot about it and every time I’d take it with me somewhere and it would be repeating over and over and I’d think, “Oh crap, I need to figure this out.”

I sat down with my iPod and my trusty search engine and immediately found a forum where someone said, “My iPod keeps repeating the same song over and over, what’s going on?”

And then, the amazingly helpful reply: “Sounds like you have it on repeat the same song over and over. Turn that off.”

No duh, Waldo. When I’m queen of the world that person is going to be banned from the Internet. I found several versions of this helpful information and had to dig around until I unearthed the secrets of where the repeat thingy was and even then it took me awhile of tapping on that tiny screen with my chubby man fingers to get the right menu to pop up. I can’t believe I managed to turn it on in the first place.

One problem, solved!

There’s always a new problem to take it’s place. The dishwasher died and the refrigerator is coughing and the bathtub is on slow-drain. At least the apple tree looks amazing. I don’t think it’s ever looked so pretty. I had enough time to prep the garden plot but not enough to actually plant anything. Supposedly the rain will take a rest this weekend and I can go crazy out there.

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Use Your Eyes Birds

At the end of last summer I found a sunflower filled with seeds that hadn’t been torn apart by the squirrels and birds and I stuck it in the shop to deal with later. My thought was that I’d have my very own sunflower seeds to snack on.

Like many things that I stick in the shop to deal with later, I never got around to dealing with this.

At the beginning of January when I was still fresh and optimistic about getting things done, I brought it in the house and looked for a YouTube tutorial that would tell me the easiest way to get the seeds out. The tutorial told me that when the sunflower was ready, I could just shake all the seeds out.

I wrapped the sunflower in an old bedsheet and shook it around like crazy and no seeds came out.

That was enough of that project. I threw the sunflower back out in the garden and figured the birds and squirrels would find it.

That was over a month ago.

No birds or squirrels ever paid any attention to it until this weekend when I saw all these creatures rioting over it and chasing each other off and taking turns dragging it around the yard.

So animals don’t notice food sitting around until another animal notices it? Which animal noticed it first? I wanted to go out and yell at them that they could have been gorging on sunflower seeds a month ago if they’d been paying attention.

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Remember Summer





Awhile back I read this news story about a guy who died and was cryogenically frozen. He was being stored with his wife who died before him and was cryogenically frozen and also his second wife who died before him and was cryogenically frozen.

Isn’t that going to be awkward? What was the second wife thinking? Obviously the first wife isn’t going to be too happy when she’s thawed out and finds out there’s a new wife. And no doubt there will be a high profile lawsuit because the first wife is no longer a wife. Or is she? Will new legal definitions need to be created for people who are cryogenically frozen? But then if the first wife is still the wife then the second wife is going to be pissed. Those ladies are both going to want something their troubles. I hope he has a lot of money set aside.

Maybe the guy arranged for a “complication” so that one of the wives can’t be unfrozen. But if that backfires then he’ll be up for murder. Or he could not thaw them out concurrently. I guess that depends on what the future of health care is like. If they all died of old age and are then thawed out, does that mean that old age has been cured? He’d just have to keep one frozen. Or he could thaw both and try to keep them a secret from each other and have to run back and forth between two households.

I don’t think he planned this very well.

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Pam Against the Machine, Part 627

I finally found the picture of the cucumber plant. It did nothing all summer and then blew up at the very end when summer was winding down. Still, it didn’t make any cucumbers. Then when summer was finished, it finally made cucumbers. So when I was pulling everything out I found two full grown lemon cucumbers and another half dozen that were like grapes. I picked and ate them all while I was standing there.

There’s this service we subscribe to at work. On our most recent invoice they advised that their billing would be changing and we’d only be getting a simplified paper bill. If we wanted a complete bill we’d have to do it via electronic delivery. I do not have a problem with that. The notice said you could sign up for this billing via a URL or by calling customer service and picking #X on the phone tree.

I went to the URL and could not login. I called the customer service number and pressed X and was told that choice didn’t exist and to please hold for customer service which was a multi-level tree where nothing related to my question.

I finally got a customer service person on the phone who seemed a little taken aback by my question. I had to wait on hold and finally she comes back and says we have to set up an electronic invoicing account and can continue to hold while we do this?

What? NO! Are you kidding me?

“This is stupid,” I told her. “I just want to get a complete bill. Now I have to set up another account? Forget it. I won’t do the electronic delivery.”

She was very nice and assured me she’d pass on my feedback. I’m sure “This is stupid,” is written in on a whiteboard in the lunchroom so that they can get right to work making it less stupid.

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