You're Doing It Wrong

I have only one more Photoshop class left. Now we’re doing stuff with vectors and paths and I only about 50% get it. Today I re-did all the stuff we did in class and it took me all afternoon. But I still like it. I wish the class was another few weeks.

I thought once I started typing I’d come up with more stuff for you but really, I’m empty here. I’m only 6 books away from the 50 book goal, but I’m stuck on the one I’m reading (That Shadow of the Wind by Carlos Ruiz Zafon). It’s not that I don’t like it, but it’s not impossible to put down. I’m going to crawl in bed in a few minutes and read some tonight.

For xmas I’m going to ask for something that my Dad can get me and will probably be fun for him to buy: a drill. I’ve gone through my entire life so far without a drill. How can this happen? All kinds of simple home projects are ignored because there is no drill.

My hand towel ring in the bathroom broke and since there is no conformity in the world — seriously I looked at about 50 towel rings in at least 4 different stores trying to find the same thing — I had an installation project on my hands. The old ring was configured horizontally. The new ring, vertically. I got sick of my hand towel sitting on the counter or shoved onto the regular towel rack (yes, these are the kinds of things that twist my knickers) so I used hand tools to install it.

Turns out I also need a drywall or wall patch fix it kit — or whatever one needs to do that stuff. This hand towel ring was installed with those plastic things you chunk into the wall. God forbid should a heavy hand towel cause the thing to pop out of the wall. I covered one in the remodel but there is a giant red plastic thing/hole by my hand towel ring. Must learn to fix that.

I have a couple of wildly unrelated items here that I’m going to lump into 1 post.

First, check out Kiva which enables you to make a loan (like, $25) to a small business in another country. Read about it to get the details but it’s a great idea.

By choosing a business on our website and then lending money online to that enterprise, you can "sponsor a business" and help the world's working poor make great strides towards economic independence. Throughout the course of the loan (usually 6-12 months), you can receive monthly email updates that let you know about the progress being made by the small business you've sponsored. ... As loans are repaid, you will get your original loan money back.

The second item has to do with my two favorite lines heard so far this TV season.

The first was on Smallville where Professor Milton Fine (and I think the character is more complicated than that but I’m not a diehard follower of Superman) the actor who played Spike, major vampire-guy on Buffy the Vampire Slayer, says to young Superman, “Clark, there’s no such thing as vampires.”

The second was on Greys Anatomy. Cristina Yang was looking for a severed foot and got into it with an EMT and said, “I can’t straddle another ego right now. I’m already doing the splits.”

I need my big snoring mammal home.

Bob has been in Las Vegas whooping it up at Vegoose — a hippie band marathon. He’s going to be next to worthless when he gets back. Yes, there will be snoring.

I went to bed at 10pm on Saturday and didn’t fall asleep until around 2a. I did manage to catch up on some reading. Last night I went to bed and I woke up at 3:30a.

I feel like I could sleep now which is a shame since I need to be going to work soon.

A decent weekend. Saturday I baked a chocolate cake and the writers came over for our last meeting. After they left I watched Bride and Prejudice by the director who made Bend it Like Beckham and found it almost unwatchable. I had no idea it was a cheesy musical in the Bollywood tradition. I don’t like musicals period. The Bollywood version did nothing to convince me otherwise. The best part was the actor who plays Sayeed on Lost was the central dancer a wild dance number which was hilarious.

Yesterday I met Charlene downtown and we had banana pancakes for breakfast and then went for a walk. It was sunny and beautiful. After I dropped her at the airport I zoomed home and made myself put on my jeans and I harvested the pumpkins and put the garden to bed.

Happy Halloween. I have a big bowl of candy. I bought the things we like. Even in good weather we don’t get a crowd at the door so if it’s monsooning tonight I expect it will be pretty quiet.

Charlene suggested that I dress as a stick of licorice. I could go around in a black body stocking all day. When I gaped she said I could sew some licorice sticks into a skirt so people would know what I am. I found a pirate hat from this summer and I’m thinking I’ll go with that.

Bob saw some cheapo long handled tongs on the kitchen counter. He picked them up and asked me what they were for.

I told him I bought them at Target because I dropped some stuff behind my desk at work (pack of gum, hair clip — critical items) and I didn’t know how to get them. He thought this was hilarious. (FYI — I haven’t had a chance to try it yet but I’m already concerned my arm isn’t long enough.)

Another time we were out for our morning walk and I carried a new flashlight I bought because I can never find flashlights when I need them. Bob claims we have lots of them but they must be in a secret place that only he knows about. Because you know spouses do that to each other: constantly hide things so no one can find anything.

So we’re on this walk and I see something moving in the park and I figured it was a bunny. I grabbed the flashlight but I couldn’t turn it on. I was twisting the top and twisting the bottom and pushing the bottom and searching for a button. Bob couldn’t stop laughing.

Today rated high to super high on the incredibly miserable scale. I won’t go into all the details.

So after this long miserable day I had to step out into the downpour to get to the train. I apparently mis-timed it because instead of the 5:50pm train that I wanted I had to stand there for about 15 minutes until a train arrived. A good thing: it was the train driver who is my new friend. We chatted on the way home one night when I took a later train after yoga. He always makes little announcments about the weather and tells people to have a good night at the park-n-ride stop.

I generally use one of those big paper carrier bags with handles that you get from the department store when you buy clothes for hauling my crap back and forth: lunch/breakfast stuff, reading materials, yoga clothes. I know what happens when paper gets wet but it wasn’t raining when I left yesterday and I had no idea how much standing around in the rain I would have to do.

So after this long and miserable day I am hurrying to my car in the dark, in steady rain with a modest wind and my bag completely disintigrates. I can’t even hold it together so I can get my stuff back to the car. I have to crouch there in the rain and shove things in pockets and a little plastic bag I had. Everything getting soaked. Not a shred of dignity anywhere to be seen.

It wasn’t even like a funny mishap. It was completely heartbreaking and demoralizing.

Saturday morning we went for a long walk and this is one of the photos I took.

I’ve explained my eMac has had a monitor malfunction but yesterday morning, while I was answering email, it miraculously flickered back into full color. I didn’t know what to think. I was almost afraid to do anything except at that point, why bother having a computer?

The color worked all day. I worked through my Photoshop exercises and applied them to my own projects. The day was fabulously sunny and it seemed a waste to spend the entire day at the computer so I took a break and brought my Photoshop book to the front porch and read about Photoshop in the wonderful sunshine. And I saw a bald eagle.

I also did a bunch of yardwork. Cleaned up dead stuff. Raked compost-y stuff together. Tore out a ton more ivy. Actually, that’s a lie. It wasn’t a ton. It was only a tiny bit but it’s such hard work it might as well have been a ton. At this rate I’ll have it all torn out by my 50th birthday. (Which is many, many years from now.)

This morning the computer was back to its redless-self. We already know what we’re going to buy but would prefer to wait until several months from now. I think I’m going to continue to limp along and hope it flickers back one of these days. The accompanying photo was adjusted without red. How did I do?

It was a nice weekend. This afternoon I tossed almost all the last tomatoes in a pot and made tomato soup. I picked my pumpkin (look for a photo soon!) and composted a few potted plants that have become a pain in the ass. I chucked a bunch of bark dust on a corner of the yard that desperately needed it. I still haven’t pulled the tomato plants. They keep producing a few tomatoes. It would seem just cruel. As I recall, last year I pulled everything in September I was so sick of it.

I’m trying to learn to draw and I bought a book and today’s lesson was to do a self portrait and then draw someone I know from memory. Boy, if you need a good laugh, I suggest this lesson. How the hell do you draw a nose? For my person from memory I drew Bob which basically means a man with glasses holding a flash drive in his clenched fist. The author says I’m going to see a big improvement after I’ve practiced the lessons. I hope so.

I’ve been practicing my Photoshop skills. I did some very light fixing on this photo (left) and then did some fancy border thing which looked juvenile so I’m not posting that version.

This is my Grandfather and I don’t know the story behind the photo or even when it was taken. It’s one of the huge batch I’ve been scanning.

He worked for the forest service in northern California and SE Alaska, so I like the idea of him hanging at Joshua Tree (pure speculation) esp. in a sweater, tie and slacks. As I was working on this, I noticed the tie and decided we needed a close up of that.

Also he’s got his cigar, something I remember about him. If he was still alive he would be 102 next month.

For some reason, on my days off, the first thing I eat in the morning is almost always total garbage. Cookies. Chocolate. Cold leftovers shoveled in while I stand with the refrigerator door open.

On the weekdays my breakfast is pathologically healthy: fruit, plain yogurt, meusli.

I don’t know why I do that on the weekends. Then I’m too full to eat something good and not like my day is off to a good start.

This morning the commute was hideous. It’s bad enough that it was hideous except that it was the second time in 4 days it took me more than 30 minutes: just to get on the freeway. It’s less than 2 miles from my house.

I know I need to learn to be zen and go with the flow but honestly it makes me crazy. I hate commuting. I’ve always hated commuting and there is no easy solution. The only 4 days a week thing helps. If can’t learn to live with it I either have to move or find a different job and I don’t want to do either of those things.

Completely unrelated, but you may have seen ads or read reviews of a movie that just came out called Stay. I read the script several months ago and I’d offer a link but it’s taking too long to find. If you’re determined to read it, I’m sure you can figure out how to track it down.

I intended to write a rant about it then, not understanding that it was actually going to be made into a movie. There is some teeny, tiny spoilage ahead, but trust me, not worth worrying about. If you’ve read even one review you know it’s a twist movie and it’s not a cool twist, it’s a stupid twist. You are taken on a journey into some twisted reality where all kinds of bizarre, unexplained stuff happens, and then you find out why and you want to throw something against the wall.

I’ve seen the trailer and the movie looks like it might be good, definitely well made: Marc Forester directed and Ewan McGregor and Ryan Gosling and bunch of other good actors. Why? Why does more or less the same dopey twist keep getting made into a movie?