You're Doing It Wrong

Auntie and Uncle were in Portland for a couple of days and we met them and Aileen for breakfast at Bob’s Red Mill this morning. Excellent breakfast. I highly recommend it plus they will meet and exceed all your grain/legume shopping needs.

The bus stop for the kids is at the bottom of the hill from their house. I don’t think I have a photo but will look again.

It’s a long story why but we were talking about electricity transmission and Auntie said that if you run a long extension cord all the way down the hill to the bus stop, you’ve got just about nothing for power when you get to the bottom.

“Is that for something to keep the kids warm?” I asked.

“No, it’s for the Christmas lights.”

After breakfast we started our shopping. Uncle saw Aileen with a couple things in her hands then ran into me with my basket. He said, “I’ll bet Janet has a cart.” Sure enough, she turns down the aisle pushing a cart and holding her list.

A couple of nights ago we were channel surfing and TVLand was showing an episode of What’s Happening!! I totally watched that show when I was a kid.

The episode was classic: the Doobie Brothers were playing a big concert and these bad guys were plying the kids with great seats and in exchange they had to secretly tape the concerts. Yes, they were BOOTLEGGING. And the bootleggers were villians with shiny suits.

Not only were they bootlegging but they were using those big clunky cassette recorders that we used back in the mesomeric era before the invention of technology. It’s hard to even imagine that a crappy 3rd generation cassette recording from an orginal taped from a recorder hidden in someone’s clothes would have ever been valuable to anyone. Or that the artist would have been backed up about it.

If you’ve ever seen hippies at a Cheese (or any jam band for that matter) show legally taping with all their gear, perhaps you understand why I think this is extra funny.

This episode aired in February of 1978 and you almost want to go back to that time and tell everyone how the delivery of music to fans will change in the next 30 years because it would blow those people’s minds.

There is nothing less interesting than hearing people talk about their dreams but I can’t resist sharing this tidbit of a crazy dream I had the other night.

In one part there were these guys in rain slickers parachuting out of a helicopter while fish sticks were being thrown at them.

If you have even a tiny idea of what might be going on in my subconscious, please drop me a note.

According to How-Much-Is-Your-Blog-Worth? this site is worth about $500.

I don’t care. It’s not for sale. (That’s slightly bitter sarcasm, if you weren’t getting it.)

I had no idea sunflower seeds were such a problem on the playing field. Especially enough to require a special sign.

When I was younger I liked to drive around just for the sake of driving. I drove around a lot of backroads in Agoura. No doubt they are no longer back of anything and instead traffic choked roads leading between housing developments. I drove to the beach. I drove around a lot in Santa Barbara, too.

I don’t like to drive any more. I just like to get somewhere.

When I drive, I like to be freakishly close the steering wheel, as if to embrace it fully, if need be. I think the real problem is my short stubby legs. Not that that’s a problem. I’m sure Karuk women were prized for their short stubby legs. But this reality requires that I be close to the steering wheel if my feet are to reach the pedals.

I feel insecure if I have to reach with my feet. Things could get out of control at any moment.

What concerns me is if the day should come when the airbag blows up because I’m pretty certain that’s not going to feel good. Sure, if I’m charging forward and collide with something moving at me, the airbag is probably going to be a lifesaver. What I’m worried about it that fender bender that’s got just enough force to deploy the bag. WHAM! My face just got that much flatter.

I found it. It was in the bottom drawer of bureau down in the basement. I also still have my middle school P.E. shirt. Why? I throw away everything. I love throwing things away. It relaxes me to get rid of things. Yet I have these 2 shirts, plus my varsity letter from high school and a pair of pantaloons that were part of an actual real dress I wore … in high school? Sounds doubtful, I can’t remember the time frame but I’ve saved them thinking they might come in handy for a costume someday. Too bad I totally forgot I even had them until just now when I went looking for the band shirt.

I’m using this opportunity to show off my pumpkin harvest. They look great, huh. One of those puppies is going to be a Thanksgiving pie. (Probably about 17 thanksgiving pies. That’s a lot of pumpkin there.)

You’d think will all this Photoshop practice that I’d fix the bumps on the pumpkins to make them prettier and make myself look more like Angelina Jolie. I don’t have all day.

I have only one more Photoshop class left. Now we’re doing stuff with vectors and paths and I only about 50% get it. Today I re-did all the stuff we did in class and it took me all afternoon. But I still like it. I wish the class was another few weeks.

I thought once I started typing I’d come up with more stuff for you but really, I’m empty here. I’m only 6 books away from the 50 book goal, but I’m stuck on the one I’m reading (That Shadow of the Wind by Carlos Ruiz Zafon). It’s not that I don’t like it, but it’s not impossible to put down. I’m going to crawl in bed in a few minutes and read some tonight.

For xmas I’m going to ask for something that my Dad can get me and will probably be fun for him to buy: a drill. I’ve gone through my entire life so far without a drill. How can this happen? All kinds of simple home projects are ignored because there is no drill.

My hand towel ring in the bathroom broke and since there is no conformity in the world — seriously I looked at about 50 towel rings in at least 4 different stores trying to find the same thing — I had an installation project on my hands. The old ring was configured horizontally. The new ring, vertically. I got sick of my hand towel sitting on the counter or shoved onto the regular towel rack (yes, these are the kinds of things that twist my knickers) so I used hand tools to install it.

Turns out I also need a drywall or wall patch fix it kit — or whatever one needs to do that stuff. This hand towel ring was installed with those plastic things you chunk into the wall. God forbid should a heavy hand towel cause the thing to pop out of the wall. I covered one in the remodel but there is a giant red plastic thing/hole by my hand towel ring. Must learn to fix that.

I have a couple of wildly unrelated items here that I’m going to lump into 1 post.

First, check out Kiva which enables you to make a loan (like, $25) to a small business in another country. Read about it to get the details but it’s a great idea.

By choosing a business on our website and then lending money online to that enterprise, you can "sponsor a business" and help the world's working poor make great strides towards economic independence. Throughout the course of the loan (usually 6-12 months), you can receive monthly email updates that let you know about the progress being made by the small business you've sponsored. ... As loans are repaid, you will get your original loan money back.

The second item has to do with my two favorite lines heard so far this TV season.

The first was on Smallville where Professor Milton Fine (and I think the character is more complicated than that but I’m not a diehard follower of Superman) the actor who played Spike, major vampire-guy on Buffy the Vampire Slayer, says to young Superman, “Clark, there’s no such thing as vampires.”

The second was on Greys Anatomy. Cristina Yang was looking for a severed foot and got into it with an EMT and said, “I can’t straddle another ego right now. I’m already doing the splits.”

I need my big snoring mammal home.

Bob has been in Las Vegas whooping it up at Vegoose — a hippie band marathon. He’s going to be next to worthless when he gets back. Yes, there will be snoring.

I went to bed at 10pm on Saturday and didn’t fall asleep until around 2a. I did manage to catch up on some reading. Last night I went to bed and I woke up at 3:30a.

I feel like I could sleep now which is a shame since I need to be going to work soon.

A decent weekend. Saturday I baked a chocolate cake and the writers came over for our last meeting. After they left I watched Bride and Prejudice by the director who made Bend it Like Beckham and found it almost unwatchable. I had no idea it was a cheesy musical in the Bollywood tradition. I don’t like musicals period. The Bollywood version did nothing to convince me otherwise. The best part was the actor who plays Sayeed on Lost was the central dancer a wild dance number which was hilarious.

Yesterday I met Charlene downtown and we had banana pancakes for breakfast and then went for a walk. It was sunny and beautiful. After I dropped her at the airport I zoomed home and made myself put on my jeans and I harvested the pumpkins and put the garden to bed.

Happy Halloween. I have a big bowl of candy. I bought the things we like. Even in good weather we don’t get a crowd at the door so if it’s monsooning tonight I expect it will be pretty quiet.

Charlene suggested that I dress as a stick of licorice. I could go around in a black body stocking all day. When I gaped she said I could sew some licorice sticks into a skirt so people would know what I am. I found a pirate hat from this summer and I’m thinking I’ll go with that.