You're Doing It Wrong

When Ya Gonna Ring It?
There are certain bands that I like the idea of but never listen to. The White Stripes (or White Strips, as I keep typing) is one of those bands.

Actually I’m not sure I even knew what they sounded like but I’m not 22 anymore and my entire self worth doesn’t rely on being hip to the latest bands so I never know what the next big thing is until I’ve been beaten over the head with it and it’s already last year’s next big thing. Apparently at the moment it’s Arctic Monkeys.

But back to the White Stripes – they were on The Daily Show and they played this song called: My Doorbell.

For some reason when he was singing it, I thought he was saying, “I’m thinking about my love bell, when ya gonna ring it, when ya gonna ring it.” And I thought that was sort of clever and went around singing that to myself for a few days.

Then I heard the song on the radio and realized he was singing “I’m thinking about my doorbell … “

I suppose euphemistically or metaphorically [do either of those words apply? can you use them interchangeably?] my version and Jack’s are going for the same idea. But with further thought, my version is fairly 80’s hairband Warrant “Cherry Pie” cheesy.

But then think about his version. He could be thinking about his latest fashion statement: those black and red Lederhosen he found on eBay and when is UPS going to deliver them?

Is there something going on that I need to know about? It took me 18 minutes to drive home from work tonight. I drove the actual speed limit at 6pm on a weeknight. I tapped my brakes once at the bridge. For a second I thought I was doing something wrong.

Say Nothing
I have an index card that I scribble on when I want to remember to write something here. I have no idea where it is right now and really, nothing to write about. But that won’t stop me.

Over the weekend I had zero obligations. Sometimes I think having too much time is like having not enough time. I had so many ideas for things I wanted to do that I couldn’t get started on anything.

I worked on my Photoshop with my new book that Erin gave me for xmas. The thing about a book is that you work through pages for several hours and then all you’ve done is learned about a couple of tools and shortcuts. You haven’t made anything. So I skipped ahead to Ch. 18 so I could work on a tutorial but now I didn’t have the benefit of learning about the other 300 tools and shorts cuts from chapters 2-17. After trying to quick mask my Delphinium for about 45 minutes, I’d had enough of that.

I figured out how to backup up my iTunes. I think. I still don’t understand sound file formats and data v. audio and what’s best and what converts to what, etc. I transferred a whole lot of something onto a disk.

I bought the Jose Gonzalez. I used to buy 3-4 albums a week way back in the day. Now I hardly listen to what I have and apparently I’m some aberration of nature because I don’t like to spend money on things I don’t use. Now I buy about 1 album a year. I didn’t even remember how the iTunes store worked. Shouldn’t there be a big “check out” button?

The other computer project I did was I finally wiped Yoda (my green iMac) and reinstalled the original software to prepare it for donation. There’s something appealing about it as an objet d’art but it’s so heavy and takes up so much space that it’s going to be nice to get it out of the house.

Wow, this is the most boring post ever. All we’re missing is a list of what I ate yesterday, then we could slip into a coma.

I GOT THE SONG
It’s Deathcab for Cutie, Soul Meets Body and I figured it out using the search engine and lyrics. I just kept trying.

I thought it might be something we have in the house and turns out: WE DO.

Other newly discovered favorite: Jose Gonzalez.

Sew Lookie Here
Have I written about sewing yet? I can’t remember.

I’ve been talking about taking a sewing class forever and when I quit writing that was one of the things I wanted to do. I wasn’t sure what to do about a sewing machine. I knew Mom had one. But I also considered buying one. I checked PatternReview.com to get an idea of what sort of features I should think about and that sort of thing. I found a whole thread on beginners and sewing machines and they said, whatever you do, don’t buy your first sewing machine. You need to find out whether you like sewing and what you want to make before you run off and buy one.

Priscilla had already given hers away but 1 email later I had my hands on Doni’s (according to the owner’s manual purchased 2-7-80) via Kathy. This was back in the Fall and I was taking Photoshop then so I decided to take a class in Winter. It starts Feb. 1.

The owner’s manual said if you hadn’t used the machine in a few months, you might want to oil it – only with sewing machine oil. Since I didn’t even sewing machine oil existed, and since who knows how long since the machine’s been used – I thought it would be worth it to get it serviced. I first went to Sears but as I wandered around I realized it’s a godless place and I didn’t want to spend half the afternoon waiting in line and then have to go back across town and wait again to pick it up.

Instead I took it to the local House of Vacuums and Sewing Machines (yes, a real place). Gary told me my machine was “a tank” and couldn’t say enough good things about Kenmore. When I mentioned I was a newbie and starting a class, he told me when I pick it up he will give me a 15 minute demo so I’m not the biggest loser in the class. (My words). He’s now by best friend and if you need to spend any money on vacuums or sewing machines: go to Hazel Dell to the place next to the bowling alley on Hwy 99.

In preparation, I cleaned out my sewing box, which was a gift probably 30+ years ago. It’s very cute and it’s been filled with all sorts of little treasures that I never use but could never throw away: a little change purse in the shape of a boot that my babysitter Mrs. McMasters gave me. It has “Pammy” taped to the bottom; a fan that my Grandma brought back from Japan, a harmonica, a yo-yo, money from Egypt, Belgium and France and my girl scout sash.

I noticed I earned the sewing badge. Wonder what I made. Probably the little blue pin cushion in the sewing kit.

Naming that Tune
I was going to put a picture up here this morning so you’d have something to look at and not be bothered by all these words. But instead I was seized with trying to find the title and artist of this song I heard on the radio last night when I was driving home from work.

I have a little tape recorder in the car, but it was buried in the bottom of my bag covered with magazines, yoga clothes and empty plastic lunch containers. I keep it in case I have a brilliant thought so I can preserve it for later or I can make lists of reminders of things I need to do. It might be a better idea to keep the recorder in a more handy place, but that’s not the point here.

When I hear a song I like on the radio, I have two strategies for tracking it down. The first is to remember some lyrics and plug those with the word, lyrics, into a search engine. Then I spend the rest of the drive home with the radio off repeating over and over, “dust in the wind … all we are is dust in the wind …” and I enter the house and shout, “Don’t talk to me, I have to remember this song” and I sprint to the computer and boot it up, standing there, tapping my foot, “dust in the wind … all we are is dust in the wind …”.

This has been about 50% successful. But (a) lyric sites are generally ugly, ad laden and sploggy, and (b) if you only remember a snippet, in my case, something about atmosphere you get about 10,000 results plus in my case, atmosphere is also the name of a band but not the band I’m looking for.

My other strategy is to go to the iTunes store and pull up the 100 most popular songs in my suspected genre, in this case I thought it would be alternative, and I scroll through and listen to samples of songs that could be it. The drawbacks to this are (a) it takes forever (b) the song might not be in the top 100 and (c) who knows for sure what the genre is?

Yesterday I read about a new method to search a song called: Songtapper. But this morning I didn’t remember that it was called Songtapper so I had to go back and check my regularly read blogs to see if I could find the post and that didn’t work. So then I tried a search engine and again, trying to narrow your results using words like song search keyboard tap. I eventually found the site.

The way it works is you tap the rhythm of the song on your keyboard and it returns a list of songs. The post I saw said it worked. So, having struck out with the lyrics and getting tired of clicking on samples at the iTunes store, I tried Songtapper. I tapped my song and then waited.

This whole chain of events took place this morning and I left for work approximately 65 minutes after I got out of bed, I packed a lot into a short morning. You can understand why there was no time for a picture. Finally it returns my songlist and WTF? I got “Bad to the Bone,” a Green Day song and a John Philip Sousa thing.

How does that even happen? Am I being punk’d? Am I a bad tapper? What do these songs even have in common? None of these is even remotely like my song. The site advised that if it didn’t return my song I could enter in the name so it would learn it for next time. If, only.

Maybe one of my three readers can help me. If you were tapping it out on your keyboard it goes: tuh-tuh tuh-Tuh-tuh-tuh tuh-tuh tuh-tuh tuh-Tuh-tuh-tuh and it’s something about the atmosphere, maybe you’re floating through my atmosphere and it sounds maybe like The Shins. Maybe it is The Shins. Next time I have my iTune store open I’ll check.

There’s a story now in The Economist that starts off:

THE brave seamen whose great voyages of exploration opened up the world are iconic figures in European history. Columbus found the New World in 1492; Dias discovered the Cape of Good Hope in 1488; and Magellan set off to circumnavigate the world in 1519. < ... >

It seems more likely that the world and all its continents were discovered by a Chinese admiral named Zheng He, whose fleets roamed the oceans between 1405 and 1435.

The authenticity of the map is being questioned and I’m not following the story that closely, I’m posting here because why does the world continue with this idea that America was “discovered.” Sure, someone can have credit for being first for sailing around the world or crossing the ocean or sharing his germs with unsuspecting indigenous populations.

But there were already people here. How can you discover a place that already has people?

Spice Girl
This is an informal poll to find what is your most used spice? Not like salt or pepper (are those considered spices or condiments?) because those can go with almost anything. Also sugar. But other spices.

Right now my most used spice is cinnamon. I had a bucket of great designer super cinnamon from Penzey’s and I only have about 1 teaspoon left. I made 2 batchs of persimmon cookies over the weekend and that just about cleaned me out. I bought some Penzey’s baking spice which is cinnamon and other stuff like cardamom, nutmeg and cloves. But I don’t like it. When you expect cinnamon taste and get baking spice, it’s a little disappointing.

My other most used spice is chili powder. I have (had) a range of types and they’re all gone except for a few scoops of a chicken taco blend and a tablespoon of regular chili powder. And tons of cayenne if that counts.

I used to use tons of basil and oregano but not so much lately and I bought several bales worth from Penzey’s. It’s stashed in bags in the spice cupboard, probably losing flavor as we speak.

Like Twins
The Parent Trap, both versions 1961 and 1998 were on TV this weekend. This post is totally going to date me but what girl, who was alive back then (1961), didn’t *LOVE* The Parent Trap?

Now that I think of it, I wasn’t alive in 1961. But I know I read the book to tatters and I’m sure it must have been on repeats because I remember loving this story. The wonderful Dad, Uncle Bill (wow, check out that bio. What a tragic life.) from Family Affair and dreamy Mom, Maureen O’Hara. And trying to figure out “how did they do that?” with only one actress.

When I was first writing this post in my head, I had Parent Trap actress Hayley Mills mixed up with an actress from one of my favorite TV shows back in the day, Juliet Mills. Juliet was Phoebe Figalilly in Nanny and the Professor. Did you know that Kim Richards (Prudence) is Paris Hilton’s aunt?

Juliet has been married to dreamy Maxwell Caulfield (Miles Colby from Dynasty and the Colbys) for over 20 years.

Where was I going with this? It wasn’t intended to be a ye olden tymes TV trivia quiz.

Oh yeah, The Parent Trap. Somehow I managed to tune into both movies at the point where the twins are stuck in the same cabin together in the rain and I stuck with both versions long enough to see both girls pull of round 1 of the switch which is the best part.

The 1998 version made some updates like changing the girls’ names from Sharon/Susan to Hallie/Annie and the California ranch is now a Napa Valley vineyard and Boston is now London but some of the scenes (in the few parts I watched) were almost identical.

My favorite line in the 1998 version is when the two completely identical girls with identical birthdays and 1 with only a Mom and 1 with only a Dad finally figure it out and they look at each other and one says, “We’re like, twins.”

Plumbing Woes
My bathroom sink was all backed up again and in the process of trying to fix it, I broke the pipe under the sink. In my defense, I think the original installation was Mickey Mouse to begin with. It wasn’t even like a real pipe but more like a plastic slinky thing and it was all brittle and probably needed to be replaced anyway.

I decided that it can’t be that hard and I would do the homework to fix it myself. Who wants to spend all that money on a simple home repair? I found an online tutorial. First, I read the one about how to clear a drain and it said not to beat up on the pipe too much or you’ll break it and cause yourself a bigger problem.

Well, that would have been a helpful reminder an hour ago.

During the “working with plastic pipe” tutorial I learned there are three kinds of pipes PVC, CPVC and flexible PB and they come in difference sizes like 3/4″ 3/8″ and 1/2″ and that I should cut them with either a tubing cutter, hacksaw and miter or power miter or some other thing I didn’t write down the name of and apparently you need to make a good cut to make it work right (I was planning on using an old kitchen knife so I wouldn’t have to buy any tools).

Then I need an emery sheet and primer and cement and make sure I get the right kind for my application. I’m sure they aren’t sold under the kind, “for fixing broken pipe under bathroom sink.” I figured by the time I drive to the plumbing supply store, figure out what the hell to buy, probably be humiliated by some know-it-all plumbing store staffer who insists on knowing exactly how I broke the pipe because to be honest, I was pretty much beating up on it, get back home, try to actually fix it, tear my hair out, start drinking at 3pm rendering the rest of the day and evening a total wash: it might just be worth it to pay someone to come in here and do it for us. So that’s the plan.