You're Doing It Wrong

I read a yoga book one time where the teacher warned about eliminating all possible distractions during practice time. She said you’d be surprised how strong and immediate the urge to vacuum could hit when you were right in the middle of practice.

I’m sure most folks would more likely be distracted by the television or a plate of brownies, but I could relate to the cleaning thing. I often clean or garden when I’m putting off something else.

Remember dead week at college? Everyone did laundry. You had to take a number at the laundry room.

Another reason yoga makes me think of cleaning is because you get into positions where you can see things that you normally never see. If you’ve got your chin on the floor you can spot even the tiniest dust bunny in the corner behind the potted plant.

This morning I did some shoulder openers against the wall. I had my cheek against the wall while I wiggled my scapula around and noticed this long partial strip of that (almost) worthless blue tape I used during the great home improvement project of last year. You use the blue tape to cover things you don’t want to paint and then pull it off and it’s supposedly all pretty and unpainted underneath. I found that it didn’t work nearly that well.

You’d never know this strip of tape was there unless you were doing shoulder openers against the wall but it was all I could do to not stop and rip that tape off immediately. If there were yoga poses against the ceiling I’d probably see nothing but spider webs.

When I was in grade school I had a friend whose last name was Ball. Her Dad bought her and her sister a red rubber ball. The kind you use to play handball against the garage or that back and forth game in the street – I think we called it two-square. He told her to put their name on it so if it rolled off, the neighbors would know where to return it.

She wasn’t sure how to go about doing this. If she put just her name, it would make her sister mad. But she wasn’t going to put just her sister’s name because it was her ball, too. She didn’t want to put both their names because seemed awfully busy for this rubber ball. And she didn’t want to put her last name because people would find it and see: Ball. Duh.

I thought I could wring a lot more out of this story when I remembered it last night but that’s about it. I think she finally put both their names on it and I can’t believe a 2nd grader engaged in such a complicated logic process for labeling a toy.

Not much to report here. It’s raining and 40-ish which seems like the perfect combination for me not being able to warm up. I wear fuzzy socks and drink gallons of hot tea and try not to compulsively check the thermostat.

Sleep remains uneven. I woke up before 5am every day this week so my goal for this morning was to sleep until after 5a. Made it to 5:40! Let the celebration begin. This after being up for an hour or so in the night because of too much Mexican food and margaritas. Still draggy ass. I had big ambitions for this afternoon which have dwindled to reading the paper and magazines. Sometimes I get a second wind after 5p so maybe I can use my brain productively this evening.

I’ve got the sourdough out again this weekend. The main cooking project is a traditional Boston Baked Beans recipe from the NYT that Bob said he would like me to try.

That’s the news from here.

stats
I check my blog stats about once a month partly out of curiosity and partly just to make sure nothing strange is happening. By strange I mean a surge in unexplained traffic. The only strange thing that’s happened several times is people on bulletin boards or social networking sites (is that what you call those?) like MySpace hotlinking an image from my site.

My favorite part of the stats is the top search strings. I get lots for “you’re doing it wrong” and numerous variations which surprises me because why would you look that up? They can’t all be looking for me. I also get a lot for reverse mullet and braids and this month Star Wars Valentine. I should probably link to what these correspond to, but I’m too lazy this morning.

The most perplexing one that almost always tops the list is Eva Green. When she first appeared I search online long enough to figure out she’s an actress but I know nothing about her and have never written about her. Apparently it comes up on a search because I wrote about a book called Eva in the same post about gardening some scratchy green branches.

I saw something about Eva Green presenting at the Oscars and thought: hey, there’s that lady. This morning Eva Green appeared on Go Fug Yourself. Now I know.

Disappear
I misplaced a CD a long time ago. I never looked that hard because I always assumed it would turn up in another CD case. For some reason I thought about it this weekend and decided to go through my entire CD collection and see if I could find it.

My collection isn’t substantial. When I lived in L.A. my apartment was a short walk away from at least 3 great record stores and at that time I had nothing better to do every weekend than troll around all three and buy stuff.

I got rid of a bunch of stuff when I moved to the PAC NW and since then my intake has dwindled to about 2 CDs a year, usually gifts.

I moved my CD storage thing and found oodles of dust and lots of CDs I’d completely forgotten about but no lost CD. (I’m not saying what it is because you’d laugh so hysterically you’d probably strain a muscle.)

So where could that CD have gone? I know it didn’t end up in the player because that’s where I looked when it was first lost. It couldn’t be lost behind some furniture because I moved everything during the big home improvement project.

Must be The Borrowers.

One Work Bowl Away From Insanity
Did I really write that I was thinking about more challenging cooking projects that took a bit of work? I must have forgotten my sanity shot that day.

On Friday I tackled a recipe that I knew my husband would love and I didn’t fully grasp what I was getting into until I’d already started and by then it was too late and I didn’t have a plan B so I slogged ahead.

This was a recipe that involved starting something in the food processor and tossing with something chopped and setting aside. Melting something in a saucepan, combining with something else and putting in the fridge. Mixer. Grater. Spatula. Measure 5 spices. Strain. Mix in a big bowl. Scrape into a baking dish.

By the time I was finished I was shrieking “bitch, bitch!” at the woman responsible for the recipe on the folded up piece of paper on the counter in my kitchen.

Still, it was delicious and it did make my dear husband happy.

We need to factor in that I was still sleep deprived and hormonal and frustrated with a situation that I don’t wish to discuss here. I don’t always mind big cooking projects. Timing is key.

On Saturday was the tamales which also destroyed half my kitchen so my mantra upon awakening this morning (through gritted teeth) was: no cooking, no cooking, no cooking.

And that would have been fine except I had a big pot of chicken broth from my tamale chicken and I hate to waste things. So I just threw together some chicken soup and a salad and that’s going to be my dinner.

Bob had tickets to six, I’m sure thrilling, hours of jazz, which he took his mother to. I graciously decided to stay home. (Meaning I didn’t want to go.)

It’s storming right now. I’m going to peek at the Oscars and decide between that and the two chick flicks I have stacked by the TV.

The Sky’s Alive With Turned On Television Sets
I’m cheating and posting this Friday because Saturday is going to be my no computer day and I’m going to make tamales and draw and stuff.

I saw in the news somewhere that Lost has been losing viewers and this person was putting forth the theory that it was like The X-Files and people are turned off by the confusing and convoluted plot. I was a HUGE X-Files fan and I loved the show continuously regardless of the convoluted plot until Mulder left because the best part of the X-Files was the connection between Mulder and Scully and not whether or not aliens were vaccinating the Klingons, or whatever.

Lost started losing me last season when it became less interesting and most of the characters became unsympathetic. Why do I care about these people?

Nothing happens on this show. We never move forward. It’s the same thing over and over. If I have to watch one more close up of Kate’s trembling lower lip and then outburst that “because they’re going to kill ___” [insert Jack or Sawyer] one more time, I’m going to brain myself with the remote control. We’re, what nine episodes into season 3 and we’ve seen how many characters? I love Jack, too. But an entire episode about his tattoo?

It started losing me halfway through last season because it was so awful and Michael couldn’t go 5 minutes without saying, “My son!” and then Claire couldn’t go 5 minutes without saying, “My baby!” But then, the end perked up and I got back into it. I don’t hate the show but it’s not my first choice when the DVR is filled with shows.

And while I’m bitching about shows, let’s talk about 24. I wasn’t even going to watch 24 but I have some fans in my office and I didn’t want to be out of the loop if it turned out really good. The only thing I like in 24 is Jack Bauer. But holy crap, this show wrote the book on the same thing over and over.

Every season we have to have a bunch of really stupid bystanders to stand around saying stuff like, “Jack, what’s happening?” and “Jack, I’m afraid” and what about scene after scene after scene where they download the schematics of the Louvre onto Jack’s PDA even though they’re top secret but somehow it always works and there are never any platform issues or software glitches. Chloe says, “Jack, I can’t do that.” and Jack says, “Chloe, you have to try.” And 2 seconds later: ta da! It’s done. In less time that it takes to update your operating system they can redirect satellites and have a team at the landing pad in a remote area located 4 hours of gridlock away.

And then there’s always someone trying screw-over the president. I’m going to delete from the DVR and just keep up by overhearing people talk about it at the office. Maybe.

Finally, I’d like to talk about Heroes. I liked it enough to add it when it started and I’ve enjoyed it. They have Steven-freaking-Carrington on the show for Pete’s sake. But holymoly has a show ever gone from zero to we-take-ourselves-too-damn-seriously faster? And it’s kind of like the shows above, we’re barely moving forward. I want something to happen. Not just everyone standing around crying/bitching/confused about their abilities. I thought The 4400 had abilities.

I’m sticking with the show although the Niki/Jessica plot is completely uninteresting. But I love Matt Parkman and I really love Hiro, my favorite TV character in a long, long time.

Also, just in case I haven’t said it lately, Veronica Mars is the best thing on television.

Bob took this photo I can’t remember what year, maybe 2000-ish and we were at a Filmpark in Germany.

Job History
My first job out of college I worked at a place that helped people get a contractor’s license in the state of California. My job title was research assistant and the place called itself a school and I suppose that’s at least partly true.

At that time, individuals seeking a contractor’s license needed 4 years of experience and then they had to fill out a somewhat complicated application and take a lengthy examination. I have no idea how they do it now. What our company did was take an experienced applicant and completed his application and prepared him for the examination.

You could make a good argument that we weren’t doing the world a great service because the operation was based on a hardcore sales drill. Some of those men were shamed into signing up for the course and many of them weren’t smart enough to do the application or pass the examination without our expert hand-holding. Do you really want that guy building your swimming pool?

And for the record in terms of gender, I remember one woman going through the entire time I was with the operation which I think was about 2 years. There were some complications with that job that I’m not going to get into right now and but let’s just say that the people who ran the place were not very nice but I liked my job and working with the students.

The purpose of this post is to mention a particular student that I thought about yesterday when I was driving home from work coming up under the topic of: I wonder whatever become of _______________.

Once the salesman finished emptying the student’s wallet, he was brought to me for processing which included collecting information for the application. They had to choose a name for their contractor’s business and it couldn’t be vague or misleading. You couldn’t call it “Super Special Contractors Inc.” if your license was just for plumbing. And if you were a sole proprietorship you couldn’t have a business name that sounded plural.

I remember this one guy and his wife who sat there bouncing a tiny baby on her lap and they wanted to call the business Joe-Bob Plumber & Son. I explained the whole sole proprietor/not plural thing and they were disappointed. They hoped their son would want to go into business with his father someday.

I was horrified that this poor little baby, couldn’t even walk yet, was already saddled with the expectation of taking over his father’s business. (And if I recall further, Dad didn’t pass the examination on his first attempt.)

So I wonder what happened to that kid. He’d be old enough to work with the old man now. Did he go for the plumbing or did he run off to New York to become a dancer and bitterly disappoint his parents?

The photo is from around 1974 and that’s me with the pretty smile and my grandfather, Fred Wilder of the Orleans Wilders.

Wide Awake I’m Not Sleeping
The sleep thing WAS going a lot better. I woke up at 4:30am every other day this week and since I go to bed between 9pm and 10pm, that’s decent enough sleep to keep me functional and not a danger to myself or others. This morning I woke up at 2:30am. Wide awake, brain grinding on overdrive. By 3:30am I wept quietly into my pillow. Enough already.

I came to work early. I’m going to get my stuff done and do some cleaning and organizing this afternoon since my brain is going to be mush. Then I’m going to leave early and relax this evening and sleep like a baby tonight. This is just a phase. Everything is just a phase.

On to part 2 of my new recipe procurement strategy.

The main challenge is to find things that we both like. Bob’s favorite meal is meat with a huge side portion of meat and extra meat on the other side. I prefer to accessorize with meat and usually only with seafood and poultry. My favorite foods often involve legumes and greens which Bob will politely eat a portion of and then root around in the refrigerator to see if there is any meat. Fortunately he is very happy with seafood and poultry and I almost always have a package of Trader Joes sausages in the fridge that can be whipped up and served alongside the lentil chard soup.

The next issue is the ingredient list. I love rich fatty food as much as the next person and Bob even more than that but I don’t think it’s healthy for us to eat a trough of macaroni and cheese three nights a week. So any recipes that call for two cups of heavy cream or 3 pounds of cheese are rarely brought out. I also don’t like frying even though I think browned things are delicious so any recipe with extensive frying is generally skipped over.

Also remember I had this digestive meltdown last year which if you’re truly interested you can find here. Start around April 10th. Going back and finding that I see that last April I also made gumbo and had insomnia. At that time the two were related because the gumbo turned my digestive system into a rebel attack on me, the empire, and I couldn’t sleep during any of the battle scenes. Since then the rebels have been conquered although there are minor uprisings if I eat more than a tiny serving of anything fatty and delicious like French fries or chips.

The other ingredient tidbit is I hate when a recipe has about 35 items, 25 of which you don’t normally have on hand and especially those things where you have to buy a bottle of something that costs $16 and you only use 1 tablespoon.

This weekend I think I’m going to make tamales which is not a new thing. I think my next new thing is going to be paella and I need to buy smoked paprika and I need to start scouting out recipes.