You're Doing It Wrong

Hey NaBlo-ers. Fellow blogger (and for me, relative) It’s Meri Day Every Day! gave birth this morning to a baby boy: Samuel. 9 lbs. 10 oz. Drop her a note if you have time.

I enjoy a wide variety of entertainment. I like books, TV and movies. Hobbits, Jane Austen and space ships. I like stories in foreign countries or with politics or with complex family relationships and where everything doesn’t necessarily come out okay. I like two pretty people falling in love. I like vampires.

I like horror but I scare easily and gross-out even easier so my consumption is not extensive. Some horror is criminally stupid but other times it can be pretty interesting.

I read a book called The Ruins by Scott Smith. If I told you right now what the big bad was, you’d probably roll your eyes. I was a little disappointed when I figured it out. But the way the story is set up, you meet these 4 people traveling in Mexico together and you are introduced to their personal quirks and their relationships to one another and you can relate to them. One of them convinces the group to go off on this side trip to find a fellow traveler’s brother and one thing leads to another and the horror begins.

I liked the story because it was creepy-disturbing-impossible-to-put-down. But I also liked it because I felt like the people were acting like real people would act (well, except for this one thing) and trying to solve their problem by being smart and using common sense. Yet, the horror went on and on.

I read another book called Cold Skin by Albert Sánchez Piñol which is another conventional, yet unconventional horror novel set on a remote island in the Antarctic. I’m going to give spoilers but all this stuff happens in the first 25 pages of the book so it’s not like I’m giving away the whole thing. The protagonist arrives to work at the weather station and the person he is supposed to replace has disappeared. There’s another man working the lighthouse who seems to be insane. As soon as the sun goes down, the hero finds out that scary creatures pour out of the depths and would like to get their cold claws on him.

The fact that this all happens in the first 25 pages of the book should alert you to the notion that the big bad is only a small part of the horror happening on this island. Another disturbing and hard to put down book that lingers with you.

But here’s the point I wanted to bring up. I always wonder about horror stories where there are scads and scads of beasts that all want to eat the 2 or 3 humans that are stuck as the victims in the story. Like in Cold Skin there were legions of creatures chasing down these two men on the island. They must have had another food source. With only two people, each creature would get like, one bite — it would seem hardly worth the trouble.

It’s like if everyone in your neighborhood was starving and rioting and fighting over the last hamburger at Burgerville.

I was (am) a huge Buffy, Angel and Firefly fan. Every time I run across another blog where someone talks about his or her devotion to Buffy I wonder why we can’t just have our own planet. Joss would make TV shows around the clock and we’d all watch reruns and the new stuff and discuss whether anyone ever really liked Dawn or whether the Buffy/Angel or Willow/Oz doomed romance was more tragic.

I thought Buffy completely lost it in the last season. The group of potential slayers were horrifically bad actors and the story developments made no sense. I was on the verge of giving it up when I found out the series was coming to an end so I slogged through to the bitter end.

The purpose of this post is to discuss a nitpick of the show which I call “the stammering school of acting.” I don’t know who started it but after awhile every single scene where any of the main characters had to express some sort of intense emotion, they would do so by stammering. All the actors stammered. Once you notice it, you can’t not notice it and so instead of being drawn into the scene, I’d be rolling my eyeballs back into my head and screaming, “Enough with the stammering.” If you’ve never noticed it before, you will notice it now and you will curse me. So much for the Buffy planet idea.

This relates to a current nit which is in every single show I watch and is an acting technique called “panting to convey fear.” I suppose if I was chased by a bloodthirsty vampire or woken in the night by someone with a big axe that wanted to dismember me, my breathing might change. I don’t know. I don’t want to be tested on that. I’m just saying that watching two actors with their back against a wall, their shoulders rising and falling with great drama while they exchange wild-eyed looks is tired and someone needs to break the mold. Convey fear by eating a sandwich or reciting Shakespeare or making a poodle jump through a hoop. The possibilities are endless.

I’m not going to do pictures of everything because that was the part that was taking forever.

One of my favorite discoveries of all time is Hyland’s Calms Forte. It is a homeopathic sleep/nervousness remedy and it is fabulous. It’s not addictive (to me). There’s no drowsy hangover the next morning. I like to take it right before I get on a plane if I’m feeling some travel anxiety. I take it preemptively when I know I’m going to have a hard time getting to sleep. There have been times when it didn’t help. I think my world record is taking three and I still had a hard time dropping off to sleep. I have passed this on to tons of people who also love it. My favorite was one time on a trip I gave it to a friend and the next morning she said, “It didn’t work. But I did fall asleep.”

DHC skincare products. The first time I tried the Deep Cleansing Oil it felt like I was washing my face with salad dressing and I wasn’t convinced but now I love it. I’ve tried a bunch of their stuff and haven’t loved all of it. Some of it I think is overpriced for what it is. I also love the Rose Oil Treatment but I tried some mascara that was nothing special and cost about 3x what a tube of Mabelline costs. I also bought some foundation make up that’s like clown make up. Another good thing is they give you samples with every purchase. I try new stuff but also stock up on facial scrub and shampoo that are perfect for weekend trips.

Mrs. Meyers cleaning products. Here’s an example of winning by passing out samples. They were handing out dishsoap downtown and I got one in every smell and ran out to buy the product. They smell so good.

Lavender Lane essential oils. I use essential oils for all sorts of thing: tea tree oil in the laundry, skin and scalp blends, things that smell pretty. I make a holiday blend with cinnamon, orange and clove and use a diffuser.

Wool socks. I spent my first winter in Oregon very cold and I thought it was because I wasn’t used to it and didn’t consider that I didn’t know how to dress for crap. I like Sternlien and Smartwool.

I bought my first pair of Danskos by accident when I was using an REI gift card. The salesperson said that everyone she knew that bought them loved them and she was right. Many times I stood in an elevator or waited to pay for my groceries and exchanged a look with someone wearing Danskos. The clogs are super comfortable. I’ve walked all over New York City with nary a pinch. I have several pairs of sandals, too.

Eco-DenT tooth powder. I started using this stuff years and years ago when I bought it at Natures, which was purchased by Wild Oats, which was purchased by Whole Foods. The store I frequented was moved to a less convenient location and I did without Eco-DenT for awhile. Then I started buying it online. I love it and I get spectacular check-ups at the dentist. The only thing is, it doesn’t have fluoride so I also use a Toms of Maine toothpaste because my teeth became really sensitive and putting cold drinks in my mouth made me scream. I passed this on to some travelers who were looking for alternatives that could be brought on an airplane and both of them returned them to me and said they didn’t like it. Hm.

Put a plate under meat that defrosts in the refrigerator.

If it tastes good, no one cares what it looks like.

Always hold down the lid on the blender. Always. Just do it.

Nothing beats a good, sharp chef’s knife.

If you’re doing something on a timer, carry the timer with you into the other room when you hop online for just a second. Because no one ever hops online for just a second.

Put a cookie sheet or a piece of tin foil on the lower shelf when you cook a pie.

I’m sure I have more but I consumed a large quantity of adult beverages last night and stayed up way past my bed time and I’m still moving slowly.

Last week Mrs. G did a list of her favorite things. That reminded me that I made a list of favorite things to post about this month.

Today she’s got a list of people doing favorite things which I fully intended on doing today but it’s taking too long so I’ve scrapped the idea for now.

It seems like the more I try to simplify and get things off my plate, the more things that rush in to take their place.

Tonight we’re going to a function and yesterday I talked myself into going out and buying a nice dress since it’s been years since I had a nice dress and here I could wear it tonight and to the firm holiday party and maybe some other thing might come up and I’d have a nice dress. But I’ve lived without one for years and it’s raining sideways and I don’t really want to leave the house. Plus somehow it’s 1pm.

Here’s one of our favorite things: tomorrow we’re going to Bob’s Red Mill. Bob (mine, not the one with the Red Mill) loves the breakfast sampler with every kind of pancake and I stock up on beans and grains and get stuff for holiday gifts.

This isn’t my real post for today but for anyone interested, Jezebel is doing a poll for sexiest man alive.

Too many choices! I narrowed it Ryan Gosling, Clive Owen, Christian Bale, Bret and Jemaine from Flight of the Conchords and Johnny Depp.

(I picked Johnny. I once told my husband if Johnny wanted me I was leaving. I wouldn’t even bring my purse.)

Vote here.

Before I start my regular post, my webhosting has again informed me that I can’t update any content in my account during this upgrade. I haven’t had any problems but just in case I disappear, look for me here.

The Wonderful World of TV
Several years ago, when I was writing, I was very strict about how many TV shows I could have. TV is a terrible time waster.

Then I quit writing and when the new fall season started I tried every single show I was remotely interested in. Since then I’ve been trying to reel it back in and now that I’m writing again, I’m cutting back. But after a long day at the office all I’m good for is a glass of wine, a plate of tacos and TV.

From last year I lost Veronica Mars (boo!) and I gave up on Grey’s Anatomy. Lost and Battlestar Galactica don’t start until January. I hope. If the writers strike ruins Battlestar Galactica I will be one very unhappy camper.

These are my current shows:

Bones. I started watching Bones because Angel is on it and it’s turned out to be one of my favorites. The crime solving part is pretty mundane but the characters are fabulous.

Supernatural. This is my favorite guilty pleasure. My ultimate fantasy would be to have Sam and Dean come over and clean my house and then make a Pam sandwich.

Torchwood. This is my favorite of my news shows this season. I never watched Doctor Who (netflix-ing, in progress) but I added this on a whim and LOVE it. Captain Jack is my hero.

Bionic Woman. Every time I mention this show to someone they talk about the 1970’s series, which I did watch, but this show has zero to do with the 1970’s series other than the idea. I don’t love the show but I like it enough to keep watching. It’s like Alias with bionics.

Moonlight. I started watching this show because it’s about vampires and the only thing I love more than vampires is pumpkins. It’s actually pretty lame but I like the main character (vampire) and I can’t stop watching.

Heroes. Heroes is on the bubble for me. I don’t think I’d miss it if I quit but I’m still just interested enough to tune in one more time. One thing I don’t like about this show is it takes itself way too seriously. I also don’t think Peter Petrelli is all that and I can’t stand Niki. I am very curious to see what the David Anders character is up to.

Pushing Daisies. I started watching this show because of the Wonderfalls connection. I was undecided after the first episode but it’s grown on me. I love the characters and the loopy tone.

Weeds. This is one of the few shows Bob and I watch together and we LOVE it. Great characters and insane story twists.

Other regular shows not reviewed: The 4400, Psych, Simpsons, The Daily Show and At the Movies with Ebert & Roeper.

Back at the office. It’s always a little surreal to return to the desk after having been gone a few days. I had a phone message that I first heard, “Hello Pam” and went on to say that she’d seen my gospel play on TV and wanted copies of it for her family and left me her name, phone number and address in Florida. I sat here, agog, trying to figure out why this message came to me, gave it some practical joke consideration and generally tried to figure out a logical explanation for the mistake.

When I listened the second time I realized she said, “Hello ma’am.” Must have inverted some digits and got my direct line by mistake.

Then there’s some weird and greatly entertaining mail here which I would love to share but I don’t think that’s cool. You have no idea how hard it is, sometimes, to resist the urge to talk about work stuff.

The other day when I was rushing around doing errands I had to do a quick brake and my right arm shot out to protect that stuff on the passenger seat from flying off.

Remember back in the days before seatbelts when that was how Mom kept us on front seat when she had to punch the brakes in a hurry? That was the exact image that came into my head. I have a very distinct memory of riding in the car, probably on the way home from preschool, with Scotty and Stacy’s Mom. I was in the backseat. In those days the front seat was a bench and there were probably 2 or 3 kids sitting there and as we made the left turn from Balboa onto Burbank, one of the kids opened the car door.

Joyce had to hold kids in the car (because we didn’t have to wear seatbelts!) AND close the car door and bitch the kid out all while making a left turn. Ah, those were the good old days.