FIFA World Cup Games 3, 4 and 5

Stacks of singles at Brian’s record store in downtown Vancouver, WA

Wow, what a day I’ve had. This post is going to cover a lot of territory. You might want to get a snack before you get started.

I was up at 6:45 for the 7am Argentina v Nigeria game.

During the half I threw together the stuff for fast no-knead bread..

After the game I did my online stuff, rec’d a story rejection, threw a bunch of stuff in the crockpot and did my yoga practice.

10:30a the pre-game for the USA v England game started. The phone started ringing.

It’s the U!S!A! in the World!Cup! Why are you phoning? It’s like you don’t know me. I answered during the pre-game but ignored after that.

During the national anthem the Asimov’s with my story came through the mail slot. (newsstand June 22 – don’t worry I’ll remind you) I had to look at that and was mortified to find that I completely misunderstood about the bio. I thought they wanted some biographical information so I sent a bunch of stuff. I didn’t realize what I sent was the actual words they print before the story.

Now it’s sitting over there on the desk. I’m too embarrassed to look at it again.

Ah, I’ve learned so much.

Then I watched the USA – England game which took at least 10 years off my life. I need a lozenge because I was screaming my head off.

During the half the Timbers revealed their MLS logo down at Director Park where I could watch the game if I wanted to watch it in a giant mass of people where I’d be worried about where I could use the bathroom instead of at home where I wouldn’t have any distractions and could use the bathroom anytime I want PLUS I could pause the DVR.

There were several points in the game where I wanted to fast forward because the suspense was killing me. Wouldn’t that be a handy device?

After the game I got my bread ready for the oven and ran outside to work because not only is it not raining, it’s over 80 degrees. For the first time in 2010. And yes, there was a parade.

I dug all over the yard and I got a sunburn. I’m usually paranoid about sunscreen but I was lazy today and ended up being out there longer than I expected. I started pulling ivy and couldn’t stop.

Later, I baked my bread and dinner was ready.

I’ve still got the Greece v. S. Korea game on the DVR. I watched the first 20 minutes of it earlier. I already know the outcome so I probably won’t watch the whole thing.

So games.

It was nice to hear Adrian Healy again. He’s one of my favorite commentators. He used to always work with Tommy Smyth who is my total favorite but the Internet tells me he’s on ESPN radio this time. boo!

Also during every game they show the coach yelling in slow motion. Why would they do that? It’s really creepy. I don’t think you can become a coach unless you look like the kind of person who kicks dogs and makes orphans cry.

Argentina v. Nigeria.

Does Argentina have the greatest hair or what? That link doesn’t really show how great their hair is. I thought Mexico had damn good hair but Argentina blows Mexico out of the water. Someone in Argentina should organize tours where people (ladies like me) can go and run their fingers through the hair of the Argentine men. I would pay a lot of money for that tour.

My new boyfriend is the goalkeeper Sergio Romero (his name is Sergio, how adorable!) who unfortunately looks like he’s about to be finger-printed and thrown into a cell in this picture. You should see him in action. Oh look, here’s a clip.

Argentina has been elevated to TOP PRIORITY.

Messi photo courtesy of Rafael Amado Deras

I also love Lionel Messi. I can’t find a great photo of him but he has the same hair I had in the 8th grade.

They also have a player named Maxi Rodriguez. Every time they said his name I thought of Jar Jar Binks saying: Ohh, maxi big da Force.

Nigeria is awesome, too. All the players have fantastic names. My favorite was Kalu Uche. I also like Chinedu Ogbuke Obasi. I could go on. They all have great names.

USA v. England

The ref was from New Zealand. How cool is that?

Wow, that was the fastest version of the Star Spangled Banner that I’ve ever heard. I didn’t love the USA uniforms. What’s up with that “Miss World Cup” sash?

For the first 10 minutes of the game, USA looked so awful that I was already planning whether I’d even watch to the end or not. But then everything turned around. They got better the longer they played. Too bad they can’t play for a half hour before the games starts.

Tim Howard is my hero. He was fantastic in goal, for those of you not watching at home.

Usually when something horrible happens, it’s not in favor of the team I’m rooting for. It was nice to finally be on the receiving end of a tragic mistake. (Hm, that doesn’t sound right.) I think England’s goalie should probably pack up and look for a job in the MLS because I don’t think anyone in England will talk to him again. Poor guy.

Having said that, a goal is a goal. The commentator couldn’t seem to emphasize enough how lucky the US was again and again.

Two great, exciting games. And I get to see Germany tomorrow.

Unrelated to soccer #1

Because I’ve had the TV on at random strange times I’ve been able to enjoy a variety of weird infomercials.

So is the general public finished with wanting overall fitness? Are we just looking for a flat belly/great abs? Because there was commercial after commercial for something that would give you great abs. I could burn 3 inches of belly fat in just three weeks doing some sort of hip hop workout. Secret to flat abs. Ultimate flat abs. Super duper flat abs. No crunches! No machines! I’m not sure if the exercise involved waving a magic wand.

I’m no fitness expert but isn’t about 80% of the flat ab battle all about “putting down the cheeseburger”?

Unrelated to soccer #2

On Thursday co-worker and I decided to finally try Habibi this traditional Syrian-Lebanese restaurant that we’ve walked by a million times.

We go to lunch early so we were only about the third table there. It’s not a huge place.

It filled up crazy fast. We were sitting by the window and I kept saying, “Look, more people.” Strollers, people in suits, bike messengers, fauxhemians — they just kept packing in. It was crazy.

We thought we were on to something huge.

They brought out our mezza platter on a giant gold leaf. The baba Ghannouj peeled my face off. People kept on coming. The service was spotty but not awful considering the mob. The pita wasn’t as good as Karam where they bake it and then bring it too you so hot that you burn your fingers. (Very happily.) But it was a good lunch.

As we were waiting for the check I noticed something. Everyone had a groupon. We were in a groupon mob. I’ve never signed up for groupon because I don’t want to get an email from anyone every day.

We will return. It was that good.

Unrelated to soccer #3

I like how in movies/TV they show a bra on the on the floor, draped over a pillow or hanging from a doorknob so that you’ll know the couple had sex.

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FIFA World Cup Games #1 and #2

 Sheesh. It’s hard to roll out of bed and go straight to the TV for a game. I better get used to it.

I had time to make a cup of tea and I sat down right when the game started at 7am. My eyes were only half open during the first half.

At the break I made more tea and got something to eat so for the second half I felt more human.

Here’s a liveblog of the game. Scroll down to 24:19. There’s a hilarious photo of Mexico’s coach Javier Aguirre. He reminds me of a cartoon monster or something. I can’t quite place it. He also has a lot of tension in his neck.

I don’t have a lot of comments. Two good games. Lots of cute boys.

I hate the buzzing horn of doom:

The sound is from the vuvuzela, South Africa’s answer to the Thunderstick. By itself, it’s just a small plastic trumpet that probably cost less than a dollar to make and creates no known musical notes. But when thousands of people toot them simultaneously, you get a loud, incessant hum that makes the entire stadium sound like it’s being attacked by angry bees.

At least I’m not there in person.

Is it just me or did both sets of commentators seem obviously biased in favor of one team over the other? Aren’t they supposed to be neutral?

In the first game they made it sound like the Mexicans were assholes for trying to win. Yeah yeah, history, South Africa. I get it but it’s not like Mexico traveled all that way just so they could play a part in South Africa’s feel good story.

In the second game they kept talking about how whenever France tried to score, some Uruguay player would be in the way. I’m no expert but isn’t that the game? Damn those buzzkill Uruguayans not standing back so France could win. Near the end of the game the commentators conceded that if Uruguay managed to score, they would have earned it.

I wonder who will be calling the USA v England game tomorrow. I hope it’s not my mortal enemy Dave O’Brien Oh look, here’s the list. The Internet is the closest thing to magic we have. No Dave O’Brien. Dammit. It would have been so fun to complain about him.

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More Soccer

Oops, more soccer coverage.

This is the highlight reel from the US v. Australia warm-up game.

Totally worth your time.

Edson Buddle A US player. This is the type of story I LOVE during Wold Cup.

Here’s a clip of Spain v. Poland in a warm-up game.

A lot of people ask me what team I’m rooting for. I love the sport. I want to see any great game.

My top two teams are Germany and USA.

After that, I love a lot of European teams: Italy, Netherlands, Denmark, Portugal and my sweetheart team: Spain.

I love South America, especially Brazil and Argentina.

I love Central America, especially Mexico. African teams are always exciting.

I try to watch every team at least once.

I’m in love with the whole thing.

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I Hear You’re Driving Someone Else’s Car Now.

It’s tough not to love this town. Recently I was asked to complete a survey which included which 3 organizations I donated the most money to. The answer was: Native American Youth, Gay Pride and Spec Fiction Nerds. I was pretty proud of that.

So tomorrow it begins. This will be mostly soccer blog for the next 4 weeks.

Don’t give up on me. I write more about me watching the tournament than the tournament itself.

Even if you know nothing about soccer you should enjoy this Nike ad:

Nike Write the Future (that’s kinda a lie b/c it’s very soccer inside-y, but it’s a great ad.)

Here’s another one Socceroos v. Wild Animals that’s super fun.

I can’t wait to dig into this thing. I’m not a huge sports geek and to be completely obsessed by a world sports event for 4 weeks is awesome. Probably my favorite aspect is that I talk to my Dad (responsible for getting me into this thing) almost every day of the tournament.

On the transit mall. This is also the building where the parking management is.

Meanwhile, in unrelated news, there are about 5 bands that I would be willing to leave the house to see. One of them is Concrete Blonde.

This is one of my favorite bands of all time. I saw them play in L.A. every chance back in the olden days and I would produce the ticket stubs but they are buried in the garage and I don’t have the patience to look for them at the moment.

They are doing a 20 year anniversary tour for the Bloodletting album. (I know, when we were young they were called albums). While it’s tempting to be depressed about being so old, it’s also a gift. How cool to see one of your favorite bands play one of your favorite albums 20 years later? I wish everyone this opportunity.

Here’s a CB website.

Here’s a clip of Concrete Blonde Bloodletting (The Vampire Song) and Caroline.

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Keep Your Eyes on the Strawberries

The transit mall has see-thru roofs for the bus stops. When they built them I was skeptical but I like them now. Yesterday there was a huge downpour while I waited for my bus and it was fun to watch.

Last night I had a scary dream and woke up with my heart pounding. When I tried to remember what it was all about what I could remember was that I had a bowl of strawberries I wanted to take back to the mini-mart because I knew some of them were clowns. Meanwhile, this scary lady in a truck was following me and told me she knew I was responsible for the chicken paste.

Your guess is as good as mine. I didn’t even eat anything weird yesterday.

Another gorgeous day in paradise.

Normally nature sounds don’t bother me but some bird has taken up residence right outside the windows by our bedroom and my writing room.

It goes like this: tweet TWEET tweet GURGLE chirp chirp chirp chirp chirp

Pretty much continually during all daylight hours which is 5am to 9pm at the moment. Shouldn’t it have other things to do? Find food? Enjoy the sights? Poop on cars?

I might have to go out there and throw rocks at it but I’m hoping our neighbor will do it first.

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Sunny on the Inside

Southpark: my favorite spot for food (paella!) and happy hour.

I have nothing to say that you haven’t already heard a million times.

I have a long list of things to do that I can’t seem to get to.

This is my last weekend before World Cup so I had high expectations. I made progress on the writing stuff but not really anything else.

Yesterday was nice enough to do yardwork and I ran around like a madwoman clipping, weeding, pruning and planting.

This morning I woke up to hard rain on the roof and wept quietly into my pillow. I love living here. I love rain. This is too much.

You know when I bet the weather is going to get fantastic? Next weekend when I’m glued to the TV. I don’t know. Maybe not. The sun seems to have forgotten us.

I’m out the door right now for TIMBERS! game which would be fantastic if it wasn’t raining.

For those of you keeping track, the August 2010 of Asimov’s with my story will be for sale on June 22. Don’t worry. I’ll remind you.

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Blink

Amsterdam, March 2010

The power went out this morning. I guess it’s never going to stop raining or storming here. At least it was nice in February.

I saw my clock blinking so I got up and checked the real time and set my cellphone alarm.

I had the clock on the microwave set so that I knew the exact time by the minute that I needed to leave to catch my bus. This morning I was at a loss.

I guessed but guessed early and had to huddle under the shelter until the bus arrived.

I’ve reset it but I think it will be another couple trips before I have it perfected.

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My Fiction: Online

Klamath River, Summer 2009

I’ve had two sales and they both come out this month.

The whole issue is here:

Innsmouth Free Press. Issue 4.

And my story is here:

Estelle Makes the Casino Run.

I’ll have details of the other story as soon as it’s available.

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The Things We Do For Love

Before I tell about my weekend I want to link to this hilarious interview in the NYT with John Waters.
Choice quote:

Q: Is there anyone you would actually kill if you knew you could get away with it?

A: I find it repellent when people do yoga exercises at the gate in airports. I want to kill them.

I have never done yoga exercises in the gate in an airport. But I saw someone this weekend and it didn’t even annoy me.

I went to Madison, Wisconsin this weekend to hang out with Clarion West people. The time there was fantastic but the journey each way was doodoo.

I took a “red eye” there and I put red eye in quotes because you leave Portland at 11pm and arrive in Chicago 3.5 hours later which would be 4:30a with the time change only the pilot managed to get us there at 4am. My hero.

My next flight didn’t leave until O’Hare until 7:30a but the gate was on the other end of the world so I took a long leisurely walk to get there stopping here and there to watch people in line for coffee and look for a comfortable place to read where I wasn’t freezing my ass off.

I got to my hotel by 9am and they let me check-in and I went upstairs and went to sleep for a few hours and managed to feel human for most of the weekend.

The trip home wasn’t the worst trip home of my life but it’s in the top 10.

I was already sad from leaving everyone and I had another 3.5 hour layover at O’Hare. Departing at 8:45 to arrive home at 11pm.

I was one of the last people to board and as I shuffled to my seat in the next to last row of the plane the Captain updated us on our delay which I was hearing about for the first time.

As I understood it they were deep in the innards of the nose cone repairing some critical something with duct tape when they realized there were rubberbands that needed replacing, too, so they had another maintenance guy out looking for rubberbands and the rubberband expert. It would only be a few short minutes.

One third of the people on the plane decided they needed to use the restroom and only one restroom in the back worked because of course the riffraff can’t go use the golden toilet in the front. So for the next “few short minutes” which in airport talk could mean anything I had a series of asses in my face and people shaking my seat because apparently its difficult to walk on a parked plane without grabbing the headrests for support. Finally after an hour the pilot announces that the rubberbands and duct tape have done the trick. We’d be leaving in a few short minutes.

Meanwhile, a man noticed 2 empty seats in the row behind me and decided to change seats and then start a conversation with the woman already sitting there. It was one of those conversations where they talked about stuff that everybody already knows and kept one upping each other with how smart they were. It was like listening to people reenact the world’s most annoying comment thread on the NYT website.

My iPod battery was dead (dammit!) and I semi-drifted off to sleep to their unpleasant drone while we headed for our runway. After a bunch of driving we stopped.

The Captain says: You might have noticed we’re not in Portland yet. We’ve had reports of a strange noise in the back of the plane and we’re getting it checked out.

We had just done a scenic drive of the airport and returned to where we started.

After another hour or so the pilot says a bunch of stuff about checking the cargo and hatches and some sort of fahrvergnugen and everything looked okay. They also checked the manual and turns out that kind of plane sometimes makes funny noises.

I’m not making that up. The pilot told us they checked the manual. At this point I’m pretty confident that I’m going to die and since I’m in the back of the plane I’m going to be stuck with the tailies and that I’m going to have to haunt a certain person for putting that bad mojo out in the universe.

Then after another “few short minutes” of paperwork we really took off and I fell asleep finally and woke up on descent.

I got on the ground at 1am. My sweetheart was there waiting for me. I was in bed by 2am. All my stuff smells like airplane

It was worth it.

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Ashes

Madison, Wisconsin

Last week was the 30th anniversary of the Mount St. Helens eruption. I didn’t live up here then. Bob did.

There was a PBS Nova special about it and Bob asked me to DVR it so we could check it out.

(Aside: Great St Helens stuff at the Spokesman Review if you’re interested.)

It was half super-interesting and half overdramatic hoohaw. We were a little bit disappointed by how corny some of it was.

In 2005 the mountain started burping. I was here for that and I’m sure I wrote about it but since I’m still putting off the skull beating it’s going to take for me to figure out how to fix my archives, I can’t link to it.

The Nova special emphasizes that we were moments from violent death. That crazy mountain could do anything. Then there would be some musical beat to punctuate just how big the danger was and a lingering shot of a doe and fawn tiptoeing into the trees. No doubt they would be incinerated shortly

The only thing I remember worrying about is that something would happen and I would miss it.

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