You're Doing It Wrong

This is the quick version of what I was going to say about the Superbowl:

During the insanity that is the world during Christmas time, I sometimes think about people who don’t celebrate Christmas. What would it be like to have to deal with the crowds and the chaos when it has no connection to your life?

Even when you do celebrate Christmas do you ever find yourself thinking, “I need to deal with “X” but if I do it now I’m going to have to flog myself into rage dealing with traffic/parking/maniac shopping so I’ll just wait until January?”

That’s how I feel about the Superbowl. I’m not a hater, I’m just not interested and I was amazed at the endless chatter about it.

Here are two quick doing it wrong items.

#1 Book Publisher – I was thinking about trying the first book of one of those series with the same character solving mysteries. I think there are over a dozen out by now. The first one was written over 10 years ago and would cost $9.99 for my Nook. The store said they also had a packaged deal where you could get the first five for $49.99.

How is that a package deal? If it had even been $47.99 I might have paused over it, although I think $39.99 would have been the way to price it. I’m pretty sure I can find a used copy of the paper book for $5. Now I bought zero books. Way to go book publisher.

#2 Health Clinic – I went in for a check-up and had my co-pay ready. The check-in desk told me it would be easier to bill me after the appointment. Two weeks later I received via mail, a bill for my co-pay. How is this easier?

I’ve had another post that includes now past due thoughts about the Superbowl half-started for over a week but I still don’t have time to finish it so I’m doing this quickie.

This used to be a planter at the building next door.

It was a pitiful planter and I felt bad for the two woeful little plants trying to stay alive among the cigarette butts and neglect.

I always hoped that the building should put some more plants in to let the existing plants know that they were meant to be there.

Some homeless kids started sleeping there with their dog. About a week after they started I noticed the plant bed looked fresh, like they’d put bark dust and I was happy for those poor plants. But upon closer inspection, I realized it was gravel.

A few days later it was all concrete. No one sleeps there now.

The crows are still downtown. I thought maybe they’d moved on because morning they weren’t overhead when I stepped off the bus. But as soon as I turned the corner I could hear them. They’d just moved up a block.

If I leave the office later when it’s darker, they’re returning. They fly between the buildings and the trees. These photos don’t come close to showing the numbers.

The sidewalks are covered with bird crap. Every morning there’s someone on one of those blocks power-washing the sidewalk.

I had created this myth that January was going to be an easy month with lots of free time and turns out it was a delusion.

For some reason, this is one of the most viewed photos in my photostream. It must be on a website somewhere. This is from my Mom’s birthday a few years ago.

Last night was grocery shopping night and we decided to have dinner at this little cafe that Bob has been wanting to take me to. As we drove up there was a fire truck with flashing lights out front but when we drove by we could see the restaurant was open so we parked and went in.

This is one of those mixed use buildings with apartments above and restaurants and shops on the main level.

When we get into the restaurant there was an alarm going off inside that was loud enough to peel paint.

It’s one of those tiny, family run restaurants. The owner apologized and said he didn’t know how long it would last but he would seat us. He showed us to a table.

I stared at my husband, astonished that anyone would even entertain the notion of eating under those circumstances. The owner returned holding a box of tissues.

This is when I noticed the rest of the customers. There were only 3 or 4 tables busy and the customers had stuffed tissues in their ears.

Not like, made a ball of tissues and stuck them in their ears. Like made a ball in one corner of the tissue and stuffed it in their ear and left the rest of the tissue hanging out like a big white elephant ear.

I am not making this up. It would have been hilarious if my head wasn’t about to explode from the noise.

We left. I guess the entire building alarm was going. I feel bad for a small business owner losing business over that. We’ll try again.

I’m thinking about buying a new point-and-shoot camera. The one I have is only 2 years old but it’s pretty crappy. (See example above.) Also I dropped it at almost every Timbers game. That’s part of the game day ritual, picking my camera up from under the seats in front of me.

I’m thinking about getting one of those rugged ones that you can drop. Also, I tend to keep my camera in my bra so it’s handy and sometimes it gets sweaty. Those rugged ones are usually waterproof, too. We’ll see.

Last week I had a regular doctor checkup. They have a whole new computer system at the clinic. My giant file from the last 20 years was nowhere in sight. The ridiculously young nurse said, “You basically have no medical history, let’s start filling this in.”

I said, “What? Did you throw all the old records away?”

“No,” she said reassuringly. “We did this on purpose so that way we’d have more accurate records.”

This reminds of when your bank tells you that for your convenience they’re going to charge you more fees.

We went through the list and she’d say, “Oh, have you ever had something like this?”

And I’d say, “Uh, I think did have itchy forehead syndrome once.”

“Itchy forehead system,” she’d repeat and open a new window and asked me a million questions like what day did it start and how often did I have symptoms and what did I do and what medicines did I take.

WTF? “It was right after I graduated from college,” I said. “I can’t remember.”

Needless to say there was no incentive to remember any further medical issues.

Later the doctor came in for my exam. I love her. She’s super tiny and hilarious.

She and I went over my new accurate history and she said, “What? You’re smoking?”

“No,” I said. “I’m not.”

“It says here, you’re smoking.”

“Well, I’m not.”

She turns the computer screen to face me and points to the window. “It says, regular daily smoker.”

I’m super impressed with this accurate system.