You're Doing It Wrong

Welcome to part 2 of my half-assed trip coverage.

We also did the historical museum (obviously) and all the historical tourist things. I will be the first to admit that my U.S. history is pretty weak. For my senior year of high school I wanted to do a program called 4/4 and take 4 classes in the morning and work in the afternoons. In order to do this I had to take a summer school class so I took my U.S. history in the summer. And summer U.S. history class is remedial class. I think I was the only person who didn’t sneak off to smoke by the automotive lab during the break. Everything else I know about early American history (that isn’t directly related to Indians), I learned from reading John Jakes.

Regardless, I could still appreciate the historical stuff. I loved Independence Hall and the graveyard where Benjamin Franklin is buried. I was underwhelmed by the Liberty Bell. There was a giant long line and the lady doing security clearly hated people and her job. Then of course everyone needed a selfie with the bell, which looked exactly like the pictures, and also like a movie prop.

One night there was a huge thunder and lightning storm with heavy rain. My phone gave me a flash flood alert. We were on the 17th floor and full from dinner and with our snacks and adult beverages handy so we pulled our chairs up to the window and watched. You could see the gusts of rain sweeping by. Very dramatic.

What is up with the liquor laws in Pennsylvania? We went to Trader Joe’s and there was no booze. We went to the wine and spirits shop and there was no beer. Then there was a separate market that Bob went to to get beer. The clerk there didn’t clarify but agreed the laws were complicated. There’s another twist that I’ll talk about in Part 3.

Bob finally got his Philly Cheesesteak the last day. I was urged to try this local delight numerous times, but if I’m going to destroy my digestive system eating something like that, I’d like to be closer to my home bathroom. I enjoyed a fruit cup while Bob enjoyed his sandwich. It smelled good.

On Sunday we visited the library and there was something called Hip Hop Fundamentals going on in the auditorium. The only reason we were by the auditorium is because that’s where the bathrooms were. Bob insisted we peek in and we ended up staying for the whole thing. It is a “diverse team of Philadelphia B-Boys dedicated to spreading true Hip Hop as an inspiration and academic tool.” And it was amazing. Tons of people and their kids learning hip hop. The B-Boys were great. I think everyone in the world should know about this group.

As of today the project of mid-August:

And now for part 1 of your single butt-cheeked coverage of our trip to Philadelphia.

First of all, in keeping with the theme, I did my trip clothing shopping in 15 minutes on the day we were leaving. There should be a prize for that.

There is a Columbia store across the street from the office. I ran over there with my wallet. Tried on 6 things to determine my size, and then selected a pair of shorts, a pair of pants and a short sleeved shirt – all made of this modern magical material called something like OmNiRron or Tu2vaFibre. It’s like wearing clothes made out of FedEx envelopes. They weren’t super flattering but they had tons of pockets and ended up being terrific when we were wandering up down the hot and humid boulevards.

We took a red eye out, even though every time I do one I swear it’s the last time, because cheap and *direct* flights showed up on my fare alert so we snatched them up. If you fly out of Portland, it is generally not cheap or nonstop to fly anywhere outside of the region. I once had a work trip to Reno and I had to fly through San Francisco.

Luckily, our hotel could check us in when we arrived so I was able to have my first nap followed by a food finding mission and then my second nap. Then I was good to go.

Our first day we went to the Rosenbach Museum and Library which Bob picked mostly because it was close to where we ate.

It turned out amazing. It’s a collection of rare books and manuscripts, plus some other items like furniture and we saw some miniature paintings. We took the guided tour, which was just the two of us, and we’re such literature nerds we asked millions of question. Our guide seemed happy to have us. It gets our highest recommendation. We would go back in a hot second.

The other brilliant museum we went to was the Barnes Foundation. According to the website, the Barnes holds one of the finest collections of Post-Impressionist and early Modern paintings. It’s a gorgeous building and the works are displayed in ensembles rather than by artist or time period. It’s explained here. I had no idea the collection was so extensive when we started. It was worth it but by the end I was short-changing my experience, because my brain was saturated. Another 1000 star recommendation.

And speaking of the project of mid-August. As of today: