You're Doing It Wrong

I’ve finally finished The Handmaid’s Tale which is amazing. The acting/writing/directing is phenomenal. And the show is harrowing to watch. I’ve had to force myself to get through it.

An old episode of Will and Grace or Parks and Recreation is always more inviting.

I recently closed our main bank account. I am trying to become a person who does not rely so much on cash. I can’t live without cash. It causes me anxiety not to carry cash.

My online bank gives me access to those ATMs you see in liquor stores and big box stores. There’s a mall in downtown Portland and my app told me I could get cash there.

I went and got my cash and my usual exit is via the food court. But the food court is being remodeled and is closed. There was a sign for a detour and I followed along.

I went down one long, empty tiled corridor after the other. There were lots of signs with giant black arrows to reassure me I was headed in the right direction. But I had a pocket filled with cash and there were no people anywhere. And it went on and on and on. There were doors. There were rodent traps. But if I was a someone looking to beat up a middle aged lady who still likes to carry cash, this is where I’d lay in wait. My heart was pounding and I walked faster and faster, chuckling to myself because if I’m going to die on surveillance I want people to remember my good humor.

After all that there was an elevator and it spit me out exactly where the escalator from the food court would have.

Downtown Portland in the snow. Last winter.

When I was a young person every time I tried something experimental with my looks it was always a fail.

I once had my make up done at a beauty school and looked like a Vegas showgirl crossed with a circus clown.

I got a perm, I’m not sure what I was envisioning, maybe easier styling? Instead my hair, no matter what I did, looked like I passed out under a bench in the park.

I got feathered bangs that always stuck out funny.

That means that these day I have little incentive to even try plastic surgery, assuming I had the money to burn. Either you wouldn’t be able to tell or I’d look like I’d pressed my face against glass and it got stuck that way.

Downtown Orleans, CA

I like to revisit movies I haven’t seen in a long time to see what I think of them now.

I recently re-watched Rain Main (1988).

For the most part, the movie holds up.

The soundtrack has some genuinely awful moments

There’s a bit with someone smoking in a restaurant that feels like a character affectation that we didn’t need. It’s so weird now to think about people smoking everywhere. Now it even seems weird walking past someone smoking on the street. I always think it’s so old fashioned.

The performances in the movie are great — both Hoffman and Cruise are really good.

I always expected that it would take longer to notice getting older. I’ve been dismayed about certain changes.

One of them is the way I get tired. It’s not like, oh I’m started to get tired. I should start thinking about wrapping up what I’m doing because I’m feeling tired.

No. It’s like I’m tired right this second. Whatever I’m doing needs to be wrapped up immediately.

I have left 7 minutes of a show on the DVR because I have to go to bed. I have left the last 5 pages of my book unread. If I’m tired I’m finished. Immediately.

Mushroom at the Orleans dump.

When I first saw this I had to double and then triple check that it wasn’t satire or The Onion.

This is a real thing. It’s called the hapifork and it’s wonderful technology that tells you if you’re eating too fast. And you can manage this data from all your devices.

The technology is covered by four patents.

Oh hapi day!