Let It Rain Let It Pour

Photo from 2004-ish: Partnachklamm

I don’t know what I was thinking last night but I set my alarm. When it went off at the crack of dawn I rolled over and turned it off.

But then I was awake.

Why doesn’t that happen on work days?

I got up and read in the news that there was still a chance we could beat the record for the rainiest March. And great news! We did it!

I’m just kidding about the great news. Why can’t we break the record for the best weather in the whole world ever?

The sun was out this afternoon and as I was dressing for the match I momentarily considered skipping some of my rain gear. I looked out the window again and right then it was like someone splashed water against the window.

One thing I learned after the last game is that there is a big difference between water resistant and water repellant.

I’m repellant and headed off to the stadium.

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Bright Light Almost Blinding

I bought some new sugar but the package seemed different somehow.

I’ve had this post half-written in draft for several days now. [Excuses for not keeping up with everything omitted.] I’m going to go ahead and half-ass it so I can hit the publish and move on because I have a Timbers game on Saturday and I need to write some long-winded fangirl posts about that.

Several months ago I decided to delete my Facebook account.

I was never a big fan. I don’t think I’ve ever had a conversation about Facebook where I didn’t say, “I hate Facebook.”

But I do wonder about people I have seen in ages and at the beginning it was nice to reconnect. I like reminders that people I rarely see are out in the world and doing stuff. And I liked to see what the kids were up to.

But mostly FB is stupid and soul-depleting.

Remember when the Internet was invented and there was this thing called AmericaOnline? And it was this little self-contained world that you never had to leave and you could just stay inside all day and use their email and chatrooms and get your news and talk about your TV shows? And then remember how the cool kids started venture out using URLs and AOL became the Internet for babies?

Now look at FB. People that I have email groups with start FB groups (which are immediately abandoned). And instead of emailing me they message me on FB. I typed a URL from memory the other day that redirected me into FB. And I was doing something concerning a government agency that directed me into FB. Why is the world becoming FB?

I spend most of my time on FB hiding people and unliking my dentist and making sure I haven’t inadvertently allowed an app to borg me and my friend list. I didn’t know why everyone was complaining about timeline because I didn’t even know what it was. I didn’t realize I didn’t have it yet.

One pound different.

I thought about reasons for keeping my account. “What if someone wants to find me?”

I’ve had a personal website since 1996. If you put my name in a search engine I come up on the first page. You know how many people have tried to find me? Zero.

But here’s the thing: I haven’t deleted it yet. And the reason I’m waffling is FB is where I get my Timbers fix. That’s where they post the pictures from the games and practices. That’s where they put the video clips. That’s where I connect with the other season ticket holders in my section. (117!) That’s where I spend the rest of my time on FB, liking things about the Timbers.

I keep trying to convince myself that I could live without that. I lived for almost my entire life without Timbers on Facebook, surely I can get by now. But I don’t want to. And also it feels like the world has become sell-your-soul-to-FB.

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Please, Please Tell Me What We’ve Learned

One of the things I forgot to mention about the Timbers game is that I was very excited for the opportunity to see Freddie Adu play. (He was on the other team.) He’s only 22 now but when he was very young, he was tagged as one of the great future U.S. Players. He hasn’t quite lived up to it (yet? – he’s on the Olympic team) but I always like to see a talented player. But by the time the game started I was so deliriously happy to see the Timbers, I forgot he was there.

Remember my troubles with Verizon?

I’m not even going to dignify this discussion by linking to the earlier part.

The short reminder version is that my credit card was faux-frauded and I had to get a new one. I tried to tell Verizon so I could pay and it’s been a total pain in the ass from day 1. I went to the store and even they had trouble helping me. I had to log on at home and try again and then quit bill pay and re-sign up again. Which they thanked me for electronically and snail-y.

You can imagine my surprise when I got a robo-call from Verizon telling me I was past due and I’d better fix it quick.

You know what I’m not going to do?

Give my fresh unfrauded credit card number to a robo-call. How do I know it’s from Verizon?

So I tried to fix it online and got run around so I stomped over to the store again.

They can’t do anything at the store but sell you shit. They can’t do administrivia. What an awesome business plan: a place one human can talk to another human and that human can’t do anything but sell you shit.

So my human got me on the phone with customer service and we went around the block a few times.

Them: Did you update your card with us?

Me: Yes I updated my card with you that’s why I’m on the phone with you throwing a snitfit.

Them: Are you sure that’s your zip code? It’s not going through.

Me: @^#5*9*^#4^)!!!!!!!!!!

Eventually, the nice lady said it was all fixed. Apparently when I switched to autopay (which I didn’t switch to, remember) I was supposed to do my first payment manually. Because that makes sense.

So nothing more to worry about.

Except I was still getting robo-calls that my service was going to be shut off if I didn’t pay — every 2 hours.

You know, according to the LA Times Verizon had a profit of $10.2 billion in 2010 — HIRE SOME ACTUAL PEOPLE YOU CHEAP FARKWITS!

So when I got home and had my cheat sheet I was able to log on and go through 7 layers of security including answering questions about my favorite Monkee, singing the chorus of The Logical Song, doing the Hokey Pokey and typing in a limerick about my favorite pet, I manually paid the “late” bill and then the new bill will supposedly be billed on the 26th.

I hope they’re happy now.

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BIRTHDAY!

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The Things We Do For Love

Season opener!

Timbers billboard Burnside and Broadway (taken from moving car)(don’t worry, I wasn’t driving)

I was trying to show off my professional game-day chic but I can’t take a photo of myself to save my life.

Solid rain from the time we left the car until right now when I’m back home and summing it up. My coat doubled in weight it was so wet. My new gloves I bought were wet, too. Pruned hands. Damp hair. I was happy but I would have been happier if I was dry.

Timbers won 3-1. Goals by the rookie, John-Baptiste! The guy hired to score, Boyd! and my fave, Kalif! Worth cold feet and more.

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Like A Flower In The Dark

Check out what I saw in the backyard when I got home tonight.

It was 60 degrees and I would have loved to come home early and do yard work because it is a disaster out there but I had stuff to do at the office. It’s supposed to be nice tomorrow, too, so I’ll be a weeding machine then.

This is my least favorite weed. I can’t even tell you how much I hate these weeds.

They have a thick network of tiny roots so they are completely unsatisfying to pull (unlike those monster single roots of the dandelion that are more fun) and if you let them go too long, they pop seeds at you when you pull them. Or even if you touch them. And right now they are everywhere.

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Vanity

BiBimBap! It’s all good but the magic is that little container of sauce. A little sweet, a little spice, a little tangy.

I’ve written before about how I don’t love the restroom situation at work.

At the beginning of the year they started remodeling our building. This happened when I worked at the law firm, too. I don’t know if office buildings like to remodel a lot or I’ve just been lucky.

They started the bathrooms by doing the floor below us and the floor above us at the same time which means that a restroom that was already too busy to make sense became ten time busier.

I switched from drinking two giant mugs of tea a day to two half mugs a day and developed weird anxiety about bathroom trips.

Also it means that the elevators became super slow because they have the extra job of taking people to restrooms on other floors.

Then they finished those bathrooms and started on ours. So now I have to take the elevator to use the restroom. The stairways are locked to keep people safe. (I don’t know what that means, either. )

Meanwhile the bathroom remodel looks nice but I’m going to do some gratuitous gender bashing here and suggest that no woman possibly could have been involved with the design because they have eliminated about 90% of the surfaces where you can put things.

In the stalls there is a hook and that’s it. If you are carrying anything it goes on the floor. In the entry way they got rid of the little vanity nook counter so there’s only a small area around the sink.

What am I carrying? Keys. My toothbrush and related oral health items. Lady things. Three more weeks and its supposed to be finished.

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Random Wrap-Up

We had another one of those stretches where the newspeople could not stop talking about snow. And breaking in with the Storm! Alert! and day after day nothing happened (at least not where I live and work). I was completely dressed for work and out the door before I even noticed this happened last week. It melted right away.

I have a folder where I keep all my Important Papers That Need Action along with my List To Rule Them All and I haven’t the slightest idea where it is. I’m hoping it’s on my desk when I get to the office tomorrow or I’m in big trouble.

Remember the hippie dippies that I ordered tooth powder from but they changed my order around and changed into a different company and I didn’t know so I canceled my credit card because I thought it was fraud? Well, before I realized what happened I contacted them asking what was going on with my order. This was about 5 weeks ago.

*Yesterday* I got an email from them letting me know that they received my inquiry and were hoping to get me an answer in the next 7-10 business days.

Now that’s customer service.

Remember two years ago when I forgot to renew my car tags and had to do it at the last minute? I actually did almost the same thing last year but apparently was too ashamed to blog about it because I don’t see the story in the archives.

I just got the notice and *I swear* I am not going to wait until the last minute this time. I wrote myself a giant note. But, of course, the paperwork is in the missing Important Papers That Need Action file. I’m getting dingy-er all the time. I’m not even 50 yet. It’s hard to be positive about the future.

Second pre-season exhibition game with Chivas USA. There was a third game today but I gave my ticket to my sweetheart which of course I will never hold over his head in future bargaining.

Last night I was reading this travel article that had a bunch of helpful “tips.” One of them was, if you see a lower airfare after you buy a ticket, call the airline and request a refund and buy the cheaper ticket. Please let me know in what Universe this tip works in because I thought the entire airline industry was designed to bleed money from us without mercy.

In the same magazine there was an ad for a fake diamond ring where the woman is quoted as saying she wished she’d seen the ad before she got her real diamond because the fake one was more clear and sparkly. I might buy that ring because clear and sparkly is what I live for.

Last tidbit: the NYT food section has been terrible lately. I haven’t cut out an article in months. A couple weeks ago there was a 1200 word article about how people in their 40’s would like to use granny carts because they’re useful but they don’t want to feel old.

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Build Your Tether

Apparently I was so excited about our first pre-season game at home, I forgot how to use my camera. When I went to download, this was the only photo. I know I took more than that.

But not many. Because it was cold. Above freezing, but just barely. Add that to my list of crazy love for the Timbers. Sitting outside wearing 200 layers and jumping around like the Pillsbury Doughboy in 30-something degrees. 16,500 people came out for a pre-season game. We played San Jose and see that #8? That’s Wondo. He has played for the US National team and he’s Kiowa and my hero.

But I love the Timbers more!

My favorite website is the Awl. About twice a year I go through a thing where I pare down all my Internet activity but the Awl always makes the cut.

Earlier this week they posted this video: http://www.theawl.com/2012/02/bon-iver-towers which they referred to as the new trailer for The Hobbit. And since I’m 1000 years old and don’t know the first thing about Bon Iver. I didn’t get the joke and I very happily clicked the link thinking: OOH! New Hobbit trailer.

Then I watched it unfold and I was thinking: huh, so is that a Hobbit? Oh. But he’s wearing shoes. And he has a fish net? That he’s throwing into his truck?

It’s sad how long it took me to get that it *wasn’t* a new Hobbit trailer. And I’m a regular of the website. D’oh!

The music made me want to stick forks in my ears.

Remember when all the music was Mötlëy Crüë and Dëf Lëppärd? Don’t you wish that would come back?

Meanwhile, Adrienne K took on the video in a whole different context today.

Apparently this video is a tribute to Native American preservation land.

Never heard of Native American preservation land?

No one has. Because there’s no such thing. And “a tribute” meaning what? Adrienne does a great job of breaking it all down.

Meanwhile, I’m going to clean my ears out with some Ratt.

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2000! 2000! 2000!

This is a Karuk-style basket start that’s on the wall at basket class. I should probably put a photo of a finished basket up so you can see where this is going. Try this.

Hey! Great news. This is my 2000th post since I started blogger which was February 2001 if my archives are to be believed. This is going to be a rambling post filled with history and random tidbits that I have scrawled on little pieces of paper and post-its all over my desk. I was going to wait until I had time to write a really good 2000th post, but then we’ll never get to it because my entire life is on hold until I have time to do it better and who knows when that will be?

I started a website in April 1996 (check out the Wayback machine) and some of that stuff survives in the ancient archives and some of it is stashed in a folder on my harddrive.

I’ve always wanted to bring back the Delta Sucks post and the responses including the one from the crazy lady who told me: “Your stupid!”

If I ever have money to burn I’m going to hire an assistant and that person’s job is going to be to surf the Internet and visit comment threads and any time a person posts some version of “your stupid” or “your a moron” my assistant will reply with: I think you mean “you’re stupid.”

But I’m getting away from my planned rambling. I actually have a huge page of notes for a different post to be titled “The Internet is Ruined” which I thought would be perfect as a 2000th post but I’m not in the mood today. Someday.

Last weekend I went to California to hang out with the family. This is Minky.

Does anyone ever intentionally set out to get a cat or are cats something that people just end up with? It seems like every person I’ve ever known with a cat(s) ended up with them.

Minky’s original name was Wink and Wink lived at the house next door where they already had bigger cats and also dogs. Wink was small and timid and a little overwhelmed trying to get a good meal with these other critters around. So Wink wandered the neighborhood and found my parents house. I’m not sure if she was nibbling on Shy Boy’s food or what but Dad fed her and that was the beginning of the end.

The owner retrieved her cat from my parents’ house several times but she always snuck back in. One night my Mom got up in the middle of the night and there was Wink hanging out in the hallway. She found the cat door. When the owner moved, she left Wink to live with Mom and Dad.

Wink became Winky and because she has such soft fur: Minky. But it’s a great name. You can say: inky, stinky, rinky dinky, finky, pinky, drinky. I made up some limericks for her but she just gave me this same bug-eyed stare so I stopped.

In this photo she has made a nice nest in my big warm coat. She was able to spread her fur around to all of my clothes. She’s a very sweet kitty.

I have a follow up to the Verizon story. They sent me a response to my customer service email that starts off by saying that they’d call me to walk me through my problem except that they received my email too late and due to industry regulations they can’t call me.

Because it would be a shame if any of this wasn’t all my fault. Why not have your workers on the job during the time that industry regulations allow you to call?

But that doesn’t matter because I already fixed the problem myself by doing the simple steps of canceling my autopay and then restarting it with the new credit card number. They also mailed me a notice thanking me for enrolling in autopay and welcoming me.

Your welcome. (intentional mistake because I think its funny)(that was intentional to)(that too).

I had another milestone last week — it was 20 years since I started working as a paralegal in Indian Affairs. I don’t know what to say except its nice to feel competent at a job. I did not feel that way for a very long time. I remember reading legal cases and it would take all day and then I’d read them again and again. It’s like you have to train your brain how to think a certain way and I was not a natural. 20 more years and I can retire! (sigh, geez)

Watercress harvesting. I’m sure my family is thrilled that their butts are on my website. That was the angle I had.

I have one of those dinky iPods that’s as big as a postage stamp. I have a gadget so I can listen to it in the car but I’ve only used it a couple of times because normally the only places I drive are the park-n-ride or the grocery store and those trips aren’t worth plugging in the iPod.

If you’ve ever used one of those tiny ones, you know that you can’t work it while you drive. Well, you could but you’d probably crash into something. So I had it all set up with mega-long playlists and I would get it set up and then pause and then once I got going I could listen. I had a 100 favorite song playlist that I could shuffle and an audio course and a bunch of podcasts.

The ride down worked great. I’m not sure what I did on the way home but somehow I managed to make it so it would repeat the item. After I heard the same song 3 times I realized there was a problem. I had a pitstop and I fiddled with it and thought I fixed it but I did not so it was completely aggravating. Then I tried tapping on it a bunch of times so then I was skipping all around which made the audio course a bit confusing. I’ve got it sitting here so I can figure it out when I’m feeling frisky.

Another funny technology story is that I always forget some cable that I wish I had so this trip I put every single cable and charger that I have into a plastic bag and threw it in with my stuff.

Then I forgot my laptop.

I very carefully made sure it was charged and I use Dropbox and I made sure it was synced. Bob said I left it on the couch which is pretty random because why would I put it on the couch? I think it was all subconscious. But, I had my notebook with me and wrote longhand every day so the streak (which has been going since Oct 31 2011) lives!

Goodness, are you still reading? That’s enough of that. Signing off Post 2000!

Get excited because Monday starts Timbers pre-season!

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