Author Archives: Pamela

Hedge Haircut Time Again

We’d lived in this house for years before I started giving the hedge an annual haircut. I wonder how it wasn’t growing crazy out-of-control in the earlier years of neglect. I guess it’s not really a hedge, it’s a bush that could be a hedge but for whatever reason someone planted it under the bedroom window.

This time I did it in a big rush because I was in this obsessive drive to complete as many good weather dependent projects as possible.

Also I did the 150 bulb project.

Bob said, “You don’t really have 150 bulbs.”

I said, “Yes, really.”

Then I brought in the bags. They were 75 per bag on sale for $17.99. I took a photo but I think it’s still inside the camera.

Once I started digging I remembered that 150 bulbs is not as bad as it sounds.

The first time I planted bulbs I only bought about 25 and dug 25 holes and thought it was the worst. Then I saw my little pitiful individual 25 flowers and realized I was doing it wrong.

This time I dug trenches and planted 25 at a time. It’s going to look cool in the spring.

While I was planting I kept finding previously planted bulbs and I thought it would be a terrific idea to take a photo in the spring so I know what areas need bulbs. Then I remembered that I did that last spring. I have no idea where the photo is, probably in a photo folder called “garden” with 900 other photos of flowers and pumpkins in it.

I need an app that will keep a photo of my garden that I take in the spring and email it to me in the fall when it’s time to buy bulbs.

I haven’t dug around in the front yard in a long time and I forgot how wretched my soil is. All yellowy dry with huge rocks. Some of the rocks were as big as my fist.

When it started raining I noticed some snails and decided get the bucket and do a run through. I must have picked 100 snails. They just keep coming no matter what I do. The next day I saw a few more and ended up picking another 100. Then when I got home the other night there was a giant snail loitering on the wall next to the garage.

To conclude, I leave this link from the NYT food section about a snail rancher which includes this quote, “It may often look as if snails aren’t doing anything. Ms. Stewart has learned that they are doing quite a bit. ‘That’s all they’re doing, is making love,’ she said.”

Posted in doing it wrong, garden | 3 Comments

IRONSKIN!

So I found this in my inbox this week:

Tina is a friend and has been super supportive me and is also one of the world’s nicest people. She also does a podcast Toasted Cake. She also has a toddler. I’m pretty sure she doesn’t watch TV or check TMZ twice a day.

I, of course, want to help pimp Tina’s book except I only have three loyal readers and at least 2 of them already know about Tina. I could put it on Twitter but I only have something like 87 followers and at least a third of them have names like Candi and naughty wares to offer.

Social media is not my super power. I have many other fine qualities.

But, here it is. I’m going to be there. Connie Willis and Tina Connolly are the only people I will drive to Beaverton on a weeknight for.

Here’s the cover. Doesn’t it look cool? Tina’s post about it is here.

Not sure about a whole book but curious about this writer? Here’s one of my favorite short stories by Tina: As We Report To Gabriel.

I haven’t read the book yet but will report back when I do.

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Storms Are Coming

We’ve had a record breaking dry streak. It’s hard to complain about no rain when 3 months ago I was weeping and beating my head against the concrete because it wouldn’t stop. Now that everything is all dried out I’m not heartbroken to hear the rains are coming back.

The weatherman says we’re in for a series of storms starting on Friday. I’m getting home late tomorrow and Thursday so tonight the minute I got home I dropped everything and put on my work clothes and ran outside. It’s amazing what you can get done quickly when you’re motivated.

I yanked a bunch of dead stuff out front to make room for the 150 bulbs project. Then I brought in all the tomatoes and ripped the plants out and yanked most of the sunflowers. The cucumbers are still out there, although they look dead. The garden is finished. I think there are carrots but that’s about it. Well, apples. When I tore out one of the sunflowers I thought I found another suntater and I was pretty excited but it turned out to be a rock.

The real purpose of this post is to tell you about Roasted Pepper Vinaigrette. That’s it in the squeeze bottle posing with the tomatoes I just brought in. I’ve had this recipe forever. I don’t recall the origins. I made a note that “goes good with lots of things” so must have been part of an article. I finally made it on Sunday and it is amazing. We’ve had it on corn and salad. I think it would taste great on just about any vegetable and also, a swirl on a piece of cheese would be good. Probably good on pasta. It’s way more delicious that this recipe would suggest.

1 roasted red pepper or drain it from a jar (that’s what I did, thank you Trader Joe’s)
1/4 cup olive oil
2 T red wine vinegar
1 T chopped shallot (I never measure stuff like that. I used half a big one.)
1/2 t. salt
fresh ground black pepper

Whirl it all in the blender until smooth. Add more vinegar, salt and/or pepper if you think it needs it. Put in a squeeze bottle because you feel all fancy squeezing it on stuff.

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Pumpkin Has Landed

2012 Pumpkin Harvest

Sorry I got carried away. This is a tad over-processed. No time to do over.

As per my entire life, I have to be somewhere in 20 minutes and I need to take a sponge bath before I go because I have been hedge-whacking and I’m filthy, so I don’t have time for my planned post.

I think I’m going to change the name of this to: I Don’t Have Time For My Planned Post.

Here’s the short version: I rolled my ankle a few weeks ago but didn’t think much of it until I noticed that it was completely swollen and that nobbin on the outside was big smooth dome. It doesn’t hurt when I walk but doesn’t feel great in any other position than normal. I kind of ice it when I think of it. I’m sure it happened when I was running around in my garden shoes because I did it again this afternoon.

Toughen up ankle, I’ve got work to do.

Also I have a surprise project planned but here’s a hint: I’ve been googling “how to” topiary and aliens. Half-assed post about it, possibly, someday.

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I Always Have Chocolate In My Desk

I liked the sky so I took this picture.

I still don’t have time for a real post so I offer the following conversation with co-worker:

Me: I ate 3 chocolates so far this morning.

Him: Sheesh.

Me: The bag says a serving is 4 pieces so I haven’t even had a whole serving yet.

Him: They must be small.

Me: Yes, I bought them because I thought I could just eat one and it would be satisfying.

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Challah

Melissa Clark had this recipe on her website this week. It’s so pretty I had to try it. I didn’t do the braiding that she shows. I made two long strips and twisted them together. Mine looks good, too, although as usual I was doing too many things at once and it probably got a tad browner than it needed to. Tastes fantastic.

Don’t have time for the post I planned so instead I offer a conversation I had with my husband last week:

Him: Guess what? I got Henrietta Q. Wigglebottom to speak at my class!

Me: I don’t know who that is.

Him: You don’t know who that is? She’s the preeminent discoverer and inventor of some sort of random computery stuff that is completely amazing. How can you live with me and not know who that is?

Me: I don’t really listen to you.

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A Random Collection of Remarks Collected On A Post-It By My Desk

Did you know these even existed? I didn’t. I looked at them longingly at the grocery store and then remembered, “I’m a grown-up, I can buy whatever I want,” and I threw them in the cart.

I have been having the strangest dreams lately. Last night I dreamed someone excavated our backyard. I was so relieved that it looked fine when I looked out there this morning. I also keep having dreams where I’m wearing no pants. And every time I’m mortified, but no one else seems to notice so I just pretend like there’s nothing wrong.

*

I was supposed to have company this week and planned to take a day off. The company didn’t pan out but I still had the time off so I did something today that I haven’t done since I can’t remember. I spent the entire day writing. I didn’t do chores or errands or administrivia. I started when I woke up and stopped when Bob got home from work. I did take a break to exercise. It was pretty amazing although this story doesn’t seem to want to be finished. I am sure to be filled with seething resentment tomorrow when I have to do chores and errands and administrivia.

*

Did I ever write about how I put the mouse on the left side at the office? One week my mouse arm was really painful so in a fit of desperation I switched it. I’m a lefty for most things and can’t imagine why I started mousing with my right hand. My sister does, too. I learned to use a computer at home, it’s not like someone set it up that way for me.

I can’t believe how fast I adapted to it. I was already about 80% after a couple of hours. It took a little bit to get used to the left-right clicking. Last week I decided to put it back on the right and then I was completely confused and wonky again. I put it back. So now I mouse on the left at work and the right at home.

Like the gorilla? The tiger doesn’t even face the same way as the picture. They’re awful but in a wonderful nostalgic way.

In my early days of feta cheese eating, I bought Athenos: http://www.athenos.com. Seriously, check out that link. That website is hilarious.

But then at some point I switched to the Trader Joe’s cheapie kind. A couple of weeks ago we were having company so I decided to cough up and pay 3x more for the real deal imported sheep’s milk feta: it is like a different food. It is so amazing and delicious. I want to put it on everything.

Remember this photo? (From this post.)

I was doing some online shopping and this one shop had vintage sweats for $112. Yes, $112 sweat pants. I had to look a few times to make sure I wasn’t misunderstanding that.

But I still have the sweats from the photo above (although you can almost see through the seat) – so I already have vintage sweat pants, right?

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Apple Land

Yesterday I cleaned out one of my vegetable beds. I yanked out a sunflower and look what was underneath!

I somehow invented the sunflower potato.

When I was flopping around last night at 2am unable to sleep, I tried to think of names for my new vegetable: potato flower (nah), sunspud, suntater, sun potato (eh), sun nugget. I’m leaning toward suntater but I’m still working on it.

Meanwhile, it is now documented so I get full credit for developing this agricultural game changer.

Also yesterday was round 1 of apple sauce. We are going to be consuming gallons of this stuff in the next month.

As you can see, the apples aren’t very pretty. But they make up for it in volume. This bowl represents a fraction of what’s out there.

Normally I rake the ones I don’t use into a pile and after I put the garden to bed I bury them in there to compost.

However, there are so many, I’ve already dug auxiliary trenches in another part of the yard and buried about 9 buckets worth.

I need some livestock.

I’m going to can some, or jar some, as some folks like to say, but I think I might still have a pint or two from last year.

I forget that it’s there and it gets shoved back behind the cans of chicken broth and pinto beans.

We both had apple sauce sprinkled with granola for breakfast and it was terrific.

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California Girls

1973. Me and my sister on the slip and slide.

This summer, the kids across the street got a similar thing and I heard them out there squealing and laughing one afternoon.

This morning I bought 150 bulbs, half tulip and half daffodil. Take a second to jot down your guess for how long it takes before I whine about buying all these bulbs. When I do that post you can see how close you were.

One of the problems is I need to do some major excavation out front to make space for the bulbs. I don’t mind yanking the old dried up stuff out but the problem is that as soon as there is open dirt, all the cats from miles around shit there. The past couple of years I’ve gotten into the habit of leaving all the dead stuff in until spring.

But also, 150 – yikes. Then I have to wait all winter before I can enjoy the results of my work. Worse case scenario I’ll just dig one big hole and dump them all in.

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Check It Out Now!

Look! I have tomatoes. All this many.

And there are at least that many more that are almost ready for picking.

Bob said, “Wow, those came on fast.”

I said, “It’s September 100th.”

For contrast here’s my kitchen on September 6 last year.

Did I ever write about my jeans shopping day? My favorite jeans are one year away from disintegrating and for my replacement jeans I accidentally bought saggy Mom jeans. I decided I was going to go out and find some fancy jeans that would make me look like a stylin’ lady.

I tried on at least 30 pairs, all different brands and styles.

Not one pair fit. Not even close. They were all tight in the butt and/or thighs and gaping at the waist. I finally gave up and figured I’d try again another time.

A couple weeks ago I said screw stylin’ and went to Eddie Bauer. I knew which size I needed but of course they’ve changed their sizing scheme.

All these stores have a complicated scheme of pants styles.

There’s another store I shop at and they now have 4 styles. It’s like: the Metropolitan- slim at the waist and thigh, firm through the hips; the Sassy – slender at the thigh, low at the waist and full through the hips; the Henrietta – higher in the waist than the Sassy but lower than the Metropolitan, straight through the hips; and the Flirty – slim at the waist, firm at the thigh and relaxed through the hips.

I wanted to send them a message that said: Fire your translator. Nobody knows what that means.

At Eddie Bauer I tried on the Sassy, the Curvy, the Rainier and the Bainbridge. And then I had to pick from classic blue, Puget blue, faded, ultra-faded and the ranchero fade. Not to mention skinny, boyfriend, bootcut, slender cut, relaxed cut, beefy cut and astronaut cut. Of course they didn’t have what I needed in the store but I could order it from a phone in the store to get free shipping, plus a coupon for trying on 15 pairs of pants plus a buy one get one for 50% deal.

They finally arrived. I love my new jeans.

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