It’s just mocking me now.

I’ve become obsessed with snails and slugs.

I never had any snails until a couple of years ago.

Now they’ve sent word to their families about what a great place this is to live and they are herding in.

Whenever it rains I run out there with a bucket in the morning and evening and pick them. I finally figured out the problem with my pretty purply flowered plant that looked half dead. I pick six or seven snails off it every time.

No matter how many I pick, there are always more. Big giant ones.

Didn’t see it? How about now?

My next door neighbor mentioned that they were inundated, too, and he’d picked a giant bucketload.

Have we opened a portal from snail hell? I don’t know how to be any more unwelcoming.

And of course I read too many Stephen King stories when I was young and at night I can hear big giant ones crawling up the walls and coming to get me.

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4 Responses to Destroyers

  1. Kira says:

    eww. but, yeah, i didn’t see it til you included the helpful arrow.

  2. Eden says:

    Um, I totally thought you had a disembodied erect penis in your lawn. Or, you know, a dildo.

  3. AEJ says:

    When we lived in Maryland we had frogs. Every morning there’d be one under the dog’s water bowl, and every morning I’d walk it across the street and down the hill to the pond. At first I thought it was the same frog, hopping on a frog bus and coming right back to greet me every morning, but after a while I noticed the frogs were getting smaller and smaller. Obviously I was moving all the adults to the pond, leaving the little ones to fend for themselves. Well, they were all reunited eventually.

  4. ~Kelly in WV says:

    OK, I’ve been reading for years and this is your best post.
    I also really like the Amsterdam alley pic a couple of days from now (perils of reading a blog after a long hiatus; they’ve blocked your site at my office).
    I think we’re the same age (46?) and I always enjoy your POV. Keep on writing!!

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