Tag Archives: things I hate

Papaya Update

Generally, there are few foods I won’t eat. That’s excluding unconventional or uncommon stuff like offal or bugs.

I hate tuna fish but I would eat it if I was a guest at someone’s house and that was what they offered. I don’t like yellow mustard or tarragon — which are more like flavors than foods. But if I get a sandwich with mustard or something in a restaurant has tarragon, I’ll eat it. I don’t like scallops but that’s because scallops don’t like me. I guess it’s the fat in them (?) but they give me terrible indigestion.

I can’t think of anything else right now.

One food I do not like is papaya. I don’t even like to be in the same room as papaya. I think it smells gross.

When I was a teenager I was in Hawaii with my family and we were on an inter-island flight and I made a terrible face and said: I smell papaya.

We were flying over a papaya orchard.

When I tell people this story they tell me: You were in a plane. You couldn’t possibly smell that.

I could.

Recently it occurred to me that I am a grown-ass woman and that perhaps I like papaya now. I haven’t tried it in decades. Maybe this is a delightful treat that I will regret not eating for so many years.

So while I was at my folks in CA this past weekend I bought a papaya. Even as I peeled it, I made a face. I tried a bite and then made a face like my tongue needed to be scraped and bleached.

Conclusion: I still hate papaya.

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Comfortably Numb

I’m trying to coordinate a trip to California to see my family. This is a photo of me and my cousin Jennifer just a few years ago on Waikiki. She’s one of the people I’m trying to see.

Did I really neglect to share my dental emergency right before vacation?

If you can’t whine about your dental emergency on your blog, where can you whine about it? (Answer: Everywhere else. But still.)

My last day in the office before vacation I had planned to the last minute. I was cranking through getting everything done. Plus, it was the last semi-final of the Eurocup so I came in early so I could take a long lunch to watch the game and still get all my work done. Extra plus, I skipped breakfast so I could order a bacon cheeseburger at the sportsbar where I was going to watch the game.

But … I had a fairly new filling and the night before I was brushing my teeth and I ran my brush across this tooth and then Bob had to peel me from the ceiling. I thought it would be a good idea to see if my dentist could take a peek. Maybe the new filling needed an adjustment. I didn’t want a broken tooth on vacation.

Cut to:

Me at the endodondist prepping for an emergency root canal, missing my game, missing my bacon cheeseburger, my stomach growling sadly while I stared at the ceiling. And if you know anything about root canals, you know that they fry your dental benefit to kingdom come in the first 3 seconds so all my vacation money ready for spending handed over to surfer endodondist.

“Hi! How’s your day going so far?” he asked when he came to examine me.

Me: Uh, I was hoping my day would go exactly like this.

The good news: my tooth felt better and gave me no trouble on vacation. And I got a pocketful of drugs for my troubles.

The bad news: I had to have soup and rush back to the office and try to finish my work since the root canal took longer than a soccer game. Additional bad news, my soccer team lost which I found out later when I watched it on my DVR.

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Please, Please Tell Me What We’ve Learned

One of the things I forgot to mention about the Timbers game is that I was very excited for the opportunity to see Freddie Adu play. (He was on the other team.) He’s only 22 now but when he was very young, he was tagged as one of the great future U.S. Players. He hasn’t quite lived up to it (yet? – he’s on the Olympic team) but I always like to see a talented player. But by the time the game started I was so deliriously happy to see the Timbers, I forgot he was there.

Remember my troubles with Verizon?

I’m not even going to dignify this discussion by linking to the earlier part.

The short reminder version is that my credit card was faux-frauded and I had to get a new one. I tried to tell Verizon so I could pay and it’s been a total pain in the ass from day 1. I went to the store and even they had trouble helping me. I had to log on at home and try again and then quit bill pay and re-sign up again. Which they thanked me for electronically and snail-y.

You can imagine my surprise when I got a robo-call from Verizon telling me I was past due and I’d better fix it quick.

You know what I’m not going to do?

Give my fresh unfrauded credit card number to a robo-call. How do I know it’s from Verizon?

So I tried to fix it online and got run around so I stomped over to the store again.

They can’t do anything at the store but sell you shit. They can’t do administrivia. What an awesome business plan: a place one human can talk to another human and that human can’t do anything but sell you shit.

So my human got me on the phone with customer service and we went around the block a few times.

Them: Did you update your card with us?

Me: Yes I updated my card with you that’s why I’m on the phone with you throwing a snitfit.

Them: Are you sure that’s your zip code? It’s not going through.

Me: @^#5*9*^#4^)!!!!!!!!!!

Eventually, the nice lady said it was all fixed. Apparently when I switched to autopay (which I didn’t switch to, remember) I was supposed to do my first payment manually. Because that makes sense.

So nothing more to worry about.

Except I was still getting robo-calls that my service was going to be shut off if I didn’t pay — every 2 hours.

You know, according to the LA Times Verizon had a profit of $10.2 billion in 2010 — HIRE SOME ACTUAL PEOPLE YOU CHEAP FARKWITS!

So when I got home and had my cheat sheet I was able to log on and go through 7 layers of security including answering questions about my favorite Monkee, singing the chorus of The Logical Song, doing the Hokey Pokey and typing in a limerick about my favorite pet, I manually paid the “late” bill and then the new bill will supposedly be billed on the 26th.

I hope they’re happy now.

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I’ll Stop the World and Melt With You

Last night I spent 20 minutes online trying to figure out how to update Verizon with my new credit card. I had to go through multiple security hoops again and again. I couldn’t find what I was supposed to do and it just kept kicking me back where I’d already been. I gave up.

I went to the Verizon store today and almost cried when she pointed me to the computer kiosk which she said was the only place I could do this. Seriously Verizon, how tough is it supposed to be for people to pay you?

She ran me through the same multiple security hoops. I entered my password at least 4 times and my fresh unfrauded credit card 4 times. She couldn’t get it to work either.

She was madly texting her the powers-that-be about what a pain-in-the-ass this was (or texting her Valentine’s date about how badly she couldn’t wait for this day to be over) and finally told me to try again at home and if it didn’t work to just call and do it over the phone.

I finally had to close my auto-bill pay and then reopen with the new card. Because if I were in charge, that’s exactly the way I would set it up.

Then I tried to update my Paypal and it would let me add the new card but not delete the old card. You know, the one that’s canceled. (Thanks for nothing hippiedippies.) I’m dreading updating anything else. Credit cards expire every few years, shouldn’t this be a simple process?

Finally, I made my sweetheart truffles today and I could not shape them to save my life. They were too cold and square and as I squeezed them in my hands they just melted on me. It was (surprisingly) not a satisfying experience. They taste great but I wish they were prettier. Luckily, he still loves me.

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I Have Never Eaten A Buffalo Wing

I had lunch at a place outside my normal circle and walked by this building. I feel like I’ve never seen it before.

Remember the fraudulent charge I found on my credit card last week? The one I found when I was looking up something I’d ordered that had never shown up? But I knew it wasn’t the same thing because it was the wrong amount and the wrong company?

Guess what?

I was wrong.

Apparently the hippie dippie company that sells my special tooth powder sold its brand to some “Leaders in Bad Customer Service” company. The LIBCS company couldn’t fill what I ordered, so they just filled what they wanted and charged me for that and charged my card to LIBCS which I’ve never heard of, all without any communication with me whatsoever.

Meanwhile the new credit cards arrived and I have to update approximately 1000 companies with my new number so they can load it onto laptop computers that their CEOs can leave on the front seats of rental cars to get stolen so I can do this all over again.

My packing slip is a sheet of paper that looks like it came out of a free printer and it doesn’t have the total on it. I’m afraid to do the math myself because I’m sure I got screwed.

The good part is that I ordered 7 bottles of tooth powder so I don’t have to worry about buying more for at least 2 years.

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The Miracle Dress

I can’t remember if I ever wrote about this before. This is the magic dress. I wish I could take a better picture but you get the idea.

This dress is at least 10 years old but it still looks great. No snags or pilling. Hasn’t faded a bit. Hasn’t stretched out all ugly.

It is a comfortable material that hangs just right. It can be worn in winter with wool tights and a sweater. It can be worn in summer with sandals. It can be dressed up with nice shoes and a fancy necklace.

It can be balled up at the bottom of the suitcase and then shook out and will look fine.

It goes in the washer and dryer.

Someone should find out what this material is and makes it in 30 colors and come up with some different dress styles and and then sit back and watch the money fly in. If you are a person who wears dresses, believe me, you want this.

I got it from Coldwater Creek. I was talking about it to someone and she said she had a similar dress from The Territory Ahead.

I wrote the above post yesterday and it was ready to go I just had bunch of things going in the kitchen so I didn’t get to it. Then we had this thing with our power that I don’t want to get into but it was dark in all the corners and I turned off the computer to deal with later. That problem is patched up for now and we’re keeping an eye on it.

Meanwhile, I found a strange charge on our credit card which a problem still in process. I found it yesterday and the only reason I did was because I actually did order something over 2 weeks ago and still haven’t seen it. I wanted to check and see if they charged me before I inquired about what the hold up was. They did not. But I found the fraudulent charge – so I guess lucky I spotted it before it turned into a hot tub or plane tickets to Peru. I know I feel lucky.

I waited to ask Bob about it just in case it was something he bought because it makes sense that my husband would buy something from a sports nutrition company in Florida. (What’s the deal with Florida? Last time we had credit card fraud the purchases were from companies in Florida.) It wouldn’t make sense at all. In fact, he uses a different card for his personal stuff. I’m ready to take care of it today and, of course, everything is closed. The credit card place has a phone thing you can use to block your card so hopefully that’s real and not just something to trick people like me into not being worked into an anxious frazzle.

Last time this happened was was about 7 years ago and the credit card place made me file a police report which I had to go pick up in person. What a fabulous use of taxpayer resources. I hope they have a new system now.

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DEATH TO CLICKING

I’m in the process of updating my webcrap. I couldn’t finish today (long rant omitted) and I had to go back to my old theme or whatever b/c then new one does that thing where I’m supposed to click on every single post to open it up and find out what the hell it says. (I’m trying to find some stuff in the archives for my holiday wrap up). I can’t wait until I’m in charge of everything because things will be a lot less stupid.

Also, I think every youngster who designed one of the many tutorials and wizards I had to do today should have to sit next to me while I do it. They would be designed a lot better.

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Violent Pink Popcorn

This is cinnamon flavored popcorn that came in a giftbox to the office. Normally I’m all grown-up and formal about such things like we need to eat all the pretzels before we open the cheese corn. Not this time. We’ve opened every single thing and tried it, often before 8am and once after we ate a giant lunch. It’s never too early to start packing on the holiday handles.

I wrote out a long story about how my health insurance had been making me insane the past couple of days. But I think its too long to be interesting so I’m going to give the short version.

I need some basic information so I logged into the main website which was totally worthless. Then, anxious to share these feelings, I clicked on the Feedback tab. The Feedback tab wanted me to create a feedback account, which obviously I am not going to do, and then if I understand correctly, I was going to be posting my feedback on a community board.

In what Universe is that going to do anything?

Later I found a different URL and tried to login but it didn’t recognize any of my numbers that it asked for. (And zeroed out the form each time so I had to re-complete all the fields . Thanks for nothing.) It said if the numbers didn’t work to call the phone number.

I called the phone number and guess what? It was a phone tree that demanded the same numbers that didn’t work on the website. No work around that I could discover.

It took a half hour and a giant bag of chocolate-caramel popcorn before I could stop foaming at the mouth. I don’t want to talk about work here but there are good reasons I didn’t ask someone there first. But I finally did and got enough info to proceed.

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Monday Round Up

I’m going to regret putting all these things in one post later this week when I’m scrounging for things to write about. But I’m tired of looking at this post-it full of notes on my desk.

I would really like to take the person who decided that Word needs to default by putting a line between every paragraph and flog him or her to death. Why would anyone do this? Yes, I know I can change the default but that is completely not the point. What if they decided that the default was all-caps or Comic Sans 14 pt bold? I shouldn’t even put that energy out into the Universe. I actually collected notes for awhile about how much I hate Office 2010 but I stopped because I’m trying to focus on not hating things so much.

This weekend was my first time for rolling out the hot cocoa, one of my favorite cold weather treats. I lost my touch over the summer. The first one I boiled over and the second one tasted flat. I’m going to need more practice to perfect my execution.

How is it possible that Big Bang Theory is in its 5th season and I didn’t even know about it? I don’t even remember why I decided to watch one. Maybe an actor on the show won an award? That was about two weeks ago. I want to stay home and watch it all day long. Bob and I are watching it together. We haven’t had a live action sitcom in the rotation for eons. I love watching Bob squirm during programs where nerds are trying to get with girls.

This morning I woke up to a cover of Do They Know Its Christmas? which seems like something that should be at the top of things the world doesn’t need. Then I looked it up and it was Glee. There is nothing horrible out there that Glee can’t make a little bit worse? (Truth: I actually like the Do They Know Its Christmas? song *original*.)

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Pumpkins and Weenies

There’s been a mild panic going on here about the pumpkins.

Normally I would have had pumpkin vines all over the place by now, but between the long wet spring and then World Cup I never got around to planting much.

I had the front spot all ready to go and I finally threw a bunch of seeds in there and then nothing happened.

I had a spot in the back all ready to go and planted both pumpkin and lemon cucumber seeds.

Plus I had a few volunteers which is where this photo comes in.

I’ve finally got sproutage, but it’s so late, we’ll see how we do.

This the main garden patch which is mostly sunflowers, all volunteers. I did plant sunflowers once but the squirrels and birds make sure there are always lots of sunflowers.

There’s even a cluster of sunflowers on the other side of the yard now.

The garden is pretty pitiful this year. I’ve got 3 tomato plants and they’re doing okay but I don’t have high hopes.

Mostly the garden seems to be prime habitat for slugs and snails. There are a few greens and beets. Most everything has bolted.

I did pick another bowl of raspberries today.

I’m too tired now to do this story justice so here is the short-ish version.

The worst time to talk to me is the first 15 minutes when I get home from work. I need some time with no talking to look at the mail, or email, or empty my backpack, or change clothes or whatever I need to do to transition.

Today I was thinking about watering, trying to set up my laptop, pulling dirty Tupperware out of my backpack and changing out of my work clothes when the doorbell rang.

I went to the peep hole and it was a guy with shiny hair and a clipboard together with a girl with shiny hair and a clipboard. AWESOME! My favorite.

I don’t know why I just didn’t ignore them.

Turns out they are from a security company — he pointed to a logo on his shirt — and their company was going to be doing work on the land lines in the neighborhood and they needed someone to do them a favor and keep a small sign advertising the company in the yard to help them out. They were only picking three houses on my block to do this and they picked mine! And in return for this terrible inconvenience they would compensate me by putting a FREE security system in my house. Free.

I told him to take a hike. But he wasn’t finished. He went on and on, the story making less and less sense as he went along. And he was one of those humorless wanker guys with lots of teeth, I hate to use this term because it’s overused these days, but he was a textbook douche bag.

I finally said if he had information I’d look at it and see if I was interested and he said before he could leave anything he needed to make sure I was the actual homeowner and make sure the home wasn’t in foreclosure or anything. I had to take three calming breaths so I didn’t punch my fist through the screendoor and rip his face off.

I had to close the door on his face because he wouldn’t stop talking. That guy made me mad.

Posted in doing it wrong, garden | Tagged | 4 Comments