You're Doing It Wrong

Yes, I’m still here. Happy Forking Thanksgiving. I ate tons of carbs and only about 3 bites of turkey. I’m leading the backlash. Our weekend was fantastic, no drama (well, Grandma was a butt but we won’t get into that) and lots of fun people and good food. I made gumbo and cornbread for Wednesday night dinner. I think this was my best batch yet. Thursday I helped a little and for dinner we went to BG and Curt’s new house. It’s not done yet but it was done enough for a big group to enjoy dinner. There was way too much food, especially pies. Mom made a pumpkin cheesecake but had a water bath disaster so when word got out, everyone else baked back up stuff. Then Erin rescued the cheesecake by flipping it over, scraping off the crust and reapplying fresh crust in the form of a topping. Turned out excellent!

I’m suffering unreasonable panic about my holiday shopping. I’m already done with most of it since we brought the family gifts to Orleans this weekend. Bob and I aren’t exchanging gifts since we’re going on a trip and want to spend our money there. But I have a few odds and ends to pick up and I want to get it over with NOW. My aim is to not leave the house on the weekends in December, or as much as realistic.

We went to Jax last night and for dessert tried the pomegranate mission fig gelato. Sounds crazy but it was delicious. I’m still thinking about it.

Last night we went to probably the best party ever. It was Eva’s 40th birthday and she and Rob threw a bash at this club in Gresham. Well, when I say a club, not like a night club more like a private club. And not like a country club — it was this giant room like a log cabin with a huge dance floor and lots of tables and places to sit. They had awesome food and a great band — they played stuff like “Brown Eyed Girl” and “Louie Louie” and EVERYBODY danced. It was wild. Dancing fools. We did the hokey-pokey. Crazy. Open bar — I guess I should mention that. We had the best time. Rob and Eva have the best parties.

Meanwhile, tomorrow is my last writing class and although I had a very productive weekend, I’m not going to have my project ready to turn in tomorrow. I made a calendar with page goals to get me finished by next month before Xmas. Been working on xmas shopping and menu stuff. Tons of stuff going on.

I have to resist the urge to complain about how hard it is to get here and type a few things on a regular basis. It takes longer than you might think.

Last week we went to see Elf at the 99th Street Cinema. This theater has a hideously designed traffic pattern, obviously created by a person who wants to punish people in cars. The road that feeds out to the highway is shared with a Walmart plus gas station. Just getting into the place was nuts and there was a gigantic line with a ratio of three children per adult (except us) so I was thinking it was going to be a nightmare. Luckily I was wrong, other than the minor distraction of glowing, phallic lollipops that the two girls next to me were eating, the kids around us were perfect angels and the show was super sweet and funny. My expectations were only medium so it was a nice surprise. Will Farrell is fantastic. I recommend it.

Stormy weekend. We have a tree out front which I have identified as an ornamental cherry and it went from 60 to zero in terms of its leaves over the course of the day. Actually, it seems like most of the neighborhood trees lost all their leaves during that period.

On Sunday we went to see Master & Commander: Far Side of the World. I haven’t read even one of the Patrick O’Brian books and I’d like to someday, but the reading pile is out of control and I don’t see it making in anytime soon. The movie is great, I’m ambivalent on Russell Crowe, don’t love him or hate him, and I loved him in this show and it’s super detailed and I am happy I don’t ever have to be a sailor in the early 1800’s because it looks awful.

I went and saw Revolutions on Friday and I’m with the crowd who thought it was pretty lame. I’m not a tough customer for those kinds of movies. I like to be entertained for 2 hours and see some cool stuff. And true, the cool stuff was REALLY cool but the lame stuff was REALLY lame and interfered with the few cool parts and almost all the dialogue was horrible — it sounded like everyone was reading it off cards. Complete the trilogy but then go home and get ready for Return of the King. AND there was a trailer for Troy with Brad Pitt and Orlando Bloom in Greek warrior outfits. Ladies, the line forms behind me.

Trilogy Tuesday – Does this mean I’m too late? (Actually, I don’t think I could sit down for that long — but I would sure like to try.)

I’m going to see Donna Tartt next week with Ronnda. I still haven’t read The Little Friend. It’s sitting right here. I started it one night when I had terrible insomnia but I realized it’s not a book I want to read half assed so I saved it for when I can be more fully present with it. I read something about House of Sand and Fog which is coming out as a movie and has been sitting on my shelf forever — that might be my next read.

I spent most of the weekend hunched over the computer or my notebook working on my writing project. I decided to rethink it which means I am tossing most of the 45 or so pages I have — which is fine but I had hoped to finished before Xmas vacation and that’s going to be a stretch now. I’m probably over-thinking the whole idea but ultimately I want to please myself and I need to understand what all is going on between the characters.

Bob and I are both getting tomorrow off. We’re going to do our Xmas shopping and possibly see Mystic River.

Yesterday I finished this book Hannah loaned me: This Little Ziggy by Martin Newell which is about this guy who was in a glam band, The Mighty Plod, in England in the 70’s. This guy was a rolling circus — drugs and getting beat up and cops and unwise ideas with the energy to carry them out but he’s completely likeable and I was rooting for him the whole time. At one point he describes this hippy princess he’s started dating as “a nice person in a bombed-out Annie Hall way.” Also at the end when he’s trying to get his band up to the next level he says: “Being brilliant is simply not enough” and I think this is a good lesson for all life.

In the latest Entertainment Weekly (Keanu on cover) the DVD section has a listing for the Anna Nicole Show and I swear for a split-second I looked at it to see if they were actually charging money for it.

We did our grocery shopping at Fred Meyer in Hazel Dell last night and I picked the wrong check-out line. You know when you have a hunch you’re picking the wrong line but you do it anyway? ALWAYS trust your gut.

There were only 2 checkers and it was the shorter line and quickly got even shorter as people bailed. Whoever was up when I got in the line had some sort of price check issue that took forever to be resolved and then the people in front of us had a price check issue to be resolved. They had 3 Halloween costumes and only 1 kid who, of course, melted down during all of this and started screaming. We had a cart-load which we’d already unloaded. If I’d known how long it would take I would have put everything back in the cart but there was always this hope that we were moments away from getting taken care of.

After about 10 minutes some people got in line behind us and I told them: “This is the slowest line on the planet. We’ve been here for days.” They quickly abandoned us for another line. Another couple approached and when they saw the problem they felt bad we’d already unloaded our cart.

The price check finally came through after our fearless checker stood there wondering aloud if anyone was actually checking the price, and then this family with the 3 Halloween costumes had to have some sort of committee meeting about whether they wanted the costumes — one was $13 and was like a peapod or something.

By this time I was irritated enough to look for management — it’s rare for me to be aggressive about poor service. The office was empty so I went to the U-Check because I knew the guy who was working that station and I asked about anyone supervising the checkout because the very nice lady at our register was completely out to lunch and we’d been waiting forever.

He gives me this look of horror and said, “Did you get in _____’s check out line? Oh no no no no no.” Then he laughed. Then he apologized for laughing and recommended that I avoid her line in the future. He said many customers avoided her line. I did find this funny but why do they keep her on the register? Way back when I had that job at Target for 3 months they put the fear of God in you with their computer system that timed everything you did and printed out reports. Isn’t there some basic standard of efficiency?

I wandered back where it was finally our turn — well, first the people with the 3 Halloween costumes with no prices who had the family meeting about the peapod costume — their check didn’t go through. Fortunately, a manager type person took them aside to deal with this problem. Bob and I laughed all the way home.

Torani Syrup has Almond Roca flavor. I suggested we try it last week and let me tell you, it’s fantastic. And I try to avoid sweet syrupy things but it’s a miracle in hot drinks.

I did not pick the pumpkins yet. I just tried to find a picture of a Cinderella pumpkin to link to with no luck. Lots of talking about them, no one can add a picture? And people: websites don’t need musical accompaniment. Ever. Back to the pumpkin thing — I’m not sure but I think they will get more red — but I’m not sure at what point it’s too late to bring them in. Freezing? I’m going to leave it another week and see what happens.

I read in the Oregonian that there is a 9 foot sturgeon in the Columbia that you can see at Bonneville Dam. That might be worth the drive.

It was my turn to go at class last night. I lost my way on this latest writing project and I’ve been struggling to get it together. Last Thu night I dreamed that I only had one page to bring to class. I ended up scrapping most of the 25 pages I brought the first time — I only salvaged about 4 pages so I had a lot of work to do this weekend. My strategy was to start typing and stop trying to figure it all out. There were some parts that were seriously undeveloped — but I got a good response and lots of great feedback and I’ve got an idea of how to make it better.

Meanwhile, I’m longing for a weekend where I’m not glued to the computer working on this stuff. I have all kinds of chores and projects that are half done or neglected. I have a pair of pants I bought months ago that need hemming. I have movies to see, books to read. I need to buy a wedding gift.

The warm weather is strange — it feels wrong. I wore a skirt with open-toed shoes yesterday. It’s probably the last time until May.