You're Doing It Wrong

I have about 1000 photos that I would love to post. Daffodils. Tulips. Garden. Timbers. You are missing out. Not sure when I will get to it. Probably not this weekend.

Meanwhile, this is my new garden friend. No collar. Not sure if she has a home or someone in the neighborhood is feeding her. She’s scrawny but not in distress that I can see. She hangs out and watches me. She doesn’t run away but she doesn’t come to me if I talk to her. When I’m working I can see her creeping up to me and she’ll sit by me as long as I ignore her. The minute I look at her or if I stand up she runs and hides in the bushes.

My sweetheart and I were trying to figure out the exact date that we met. I told Bob: “I have calendars we can look at.”

“You have calendars?”

I have kept these calendars since I was in college (80’s). Now it’s how my mind works — this is how I keep track of things. I hate the calendar on my stupid phone.

I have never been super vigilant about the details so it’s not a perfect record of my existence but there are a lot of historical tidbits in here.

It was 20 years ago today. My cousin Bari introduced us. We had a family dinner at my Uncle LeRoy’s house when he lived in the house up in the hills. We were going to see The Piano the next day but we didn’t.

Research confirms that the movie came out in November 93 but it won several Oscars in March of 94 so it would make sense that it would be available for us to see. Bob said that Bari cancelled because she had morning sickness. That isn’t my recollection but the math adds up, too Sinead is going to be 20 this September.

Now we’re old married farts. And we’re okay with that.

I was just folding up my pajama pants from the laundry and wow, they look like they should be burned. How do things get so ratty without me noticing? I put them back in the drawer. I can burn them anytime and right now I still want to wear them.

I started working on some photos for a post at the beginning of the week and was interrupted and never got back to it.

I know everyone is frazzled and super busy and no one likes to hear about how someone else is frazzled and super busy but sheesh, I am frazzled and super busy. I feel like I am keeping up with only half of everything and doing it poorly. And when I do finally have time, my brain is tired and doesn’t want to cooperate.

I have been trying to deal with some [boring grown up stuff] and it seems like for every question I ask or phone call I make, I create 10 more questions and 3 more phone calls. I understand why people don’t deal with [boring grown up stuff]. There is no incentive to deal with it other than there may be some time in the future when I will theoretically be glad I dealt with it now instead of filing it away and not thinking about it.

My level of busy has ticked up quite a bit. Earlier in the year when I was doing all my tutorials I was thinking: See? You have plenty of time to do this kind of stuff.

And now that I’ve got more going on and I’m a little more tired in my free time I’m thinking: D’oh. You had more energy because you weren’t doing anything.

It’s all good. Did I mention that we subscribed to The New Yorker?

We’ve subscribed before and I loved it except: the dang thing comes every week. I get really worked up if I have a pile of magazines stacked by the bed. And no, I can’t get rid of them without reading them. It’s like you don’t know me.

I gave up 3 other subscriptions that I was not loving (but only arrived monthly or bi-monthly) and Bob nudged me. And I am loving this magazine.

It’s perfect bus reading. The writing is terrific. So many topics I didn’t even know I wanted to read about. And if it’s something I’m less interested in I can scan through a section or two and move on with my life.

If I have one complaint it’s that the fiction has been underwhelming except for the Zadie Smith story. More good fiction!

Bob said we’re finally grown up enough that the cartoons are funny.

“I wouldn’t go that far,” I said.

I can’t remember what triggered this but I was thinking about when you’re a kid and you fantasize about running away from home.

Don’t all kids think about this when they’re little? You’ll show them.

I know I did. You had to put your belongings in a handkerchief and put it on a stick. Then I would bring Kitty and Monkey (stuffed animals) and something to eat. I don’t think it occurred to me to take money or a change of clothes.

When I was pretty young I wrote a story about some kids that ran away from home. They went into the hills where there were lots of apple trees so they had plenty to eat. They made a fire and put the apples on sticks and cooked them over the fire.

I wish I still had this manuscript. I had no idea what was going to happen next. I think the idea was a sort-of The Incredible Journey with kids. But I’m not sure where I thought they would end up. All living together in a great apartment in Haight-Ashbury?

When I was older and had visions of running away it usually involved driving to Mexico. These visions included all my money and clothes. But I always knew it would never work and then I would have to go home and have no money. This is all a big joke because I am the most boring predictable person alive. I would never run away. Even “what-if-ing” gives me anxiety.

Hm. Don’t love it but no time to fiddle with it.

I couldn’t login into my ebook account. The login window would say that I was successfully logged in but it would be blank and I wouldn’t be able to access my account.

I tried every browser on my desktop and my laptop. I re-installed one browser because I have an ad blocker installed and I thought that might be the problem. I went to customer service but you can’t ask a question if you’re not logged in. The forums were worthless.

I gave it 24 hours thinking maybe they were having a snafu. I still couldn’t login.

I finally changed my password and then I could get in. I’ll never give up my paper books.

I said I would have dinner on the table in 30 minutes and I haven’t even started yet because I was trying to add an effect to this and couldn’t quite get it right.