The Couch of Lost Objects

These delicious sandwiches and fries are from Lardo in downtown Portland.

It would make sense to include a photo of the couch with this story but I don’t have one handy and don’t want to take one right now. It’s one of those couches that has a little motor and button so it extends into a lounger.

I love this couch. It’s comfy. It’s held up well.

But if I’m going to complain, if you drop anything into a couch crevice — like you have the remote on the armrest and it slides into the couch. Or maybe you’re doing a crossword puzzle and you set your clipboard down on the seat while you go make some tea and come back and the pencil has fallen into the crack — those things are lost.

This delicious sandwich is from Taylor Street Market in downtown Portland.

I was fiddling with my wedding ring. (I do this all the time knowing full well what a bad idea it is) and dropped it in the couch crack.

I had to completely extend the lounger and then crawl under the seat with a flashlight and dig deep into dark crevices, squishing my fingers in where they barely fit with dust bunnies and who knows what might be in there.

I did retrieve my ring.

But this process is super inconvenient when you drop the Roku control and you can’t do anything until you can crawl around on your stomach and find it again — all while you just wanted to relax for a half hour before you go to bed.

And every time I remind myself — don’t leave stuff on the couch where it can fall it. But then I forget and do it anyway.

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