What I Wish I Was Doing Today

Match Day Ritual

Summer: This is the match day ritual.

Last week I was reading some story online and the person was dealing with finances. One super bright and forward thinking commenter suggested getting another job such as newspaper delivery.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

Who gets newspapers anymore?

Well, we do. But we’re the olds. Is there anyone under 30 who has newspaper delivery?

Historically, during the holidays our delivery person gives us a Holiday Greeting which is really information on how to send them a tip. We always send something. Last year the delivery family had a list of about 8 newspapers they were delivering. A couple months later we got a note from them that they’d lost the contract because someone underbid them.

I don’t think there’s a whole lot of opportunity in newspaper delivery.

I’m having insomnia issues this week and I wake up at 3am when the paper comes. The new guy stops the car, turns it off and then does who-knows-what for a few minutes. Then the car door opens, the paper hits the front door, and the car door closes. Then he restarts the car, drives next door and the whole thing starts all over again. This seems staggeringly inefficient. Plus, don’t car starters wear out? To add to my late night anxiety, I’m dreading the day the car won’t restart. What will he do? Does he have a cellphone? Is there someone who can drive out and help him at 3am? Will he wish he’d just thrown the paper out the window without stopping like the old paper delivery people did?

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