Northern Idaho from last year’s trip

It seems like sometimes I drag my camera around and never take it out of the case. Then I leave it at home and numerous fabulous photo opportunities are lost.

Like this morning as I left the market there was a van in the parking lot and the company was called: Stoner Protection Systems. Then underneath it said: A division of Stoner Electrical Group.

Do you think it’s a person named Stoner who refuses to see anything funny about this? Or a person who thought an electrical company called Stoner would be a great joke?

The photo above is from the Idaho trip I did last November. The past two days were clear and gorgeous and I could have taken a million fabulous photos but I didn’t want to drag my camera along. I already had a laptop and an iPod and the associated cables and protective cases. And I never replaced travel backpack so I crammed all my stuff into one tiny bag with overflow in the laptop bag which was not designed to hold anything lumpy. We have a regular carry-on rolling travel bag but I didn’t use it. I can’t come up with a reason why.

Photo from the zoo and completely unrelated to anything in this post.

On the way into Safeway there was a spanger standing out front. He says, “Ma’am, do you have a dime so I can use the pay phone?” and I said, “You mean the pay phone from 1976?” Doesn’t it cost about a dollar to use a pay phone, if you can find one, these days?

I love my Safeway and have nothing bad to say about them. All the people that work there are super nice and helpful. Even one time I was in there the day before Thanksgiving picking up my last obscure ingredients for some new thing I was trying. A guy from the meat department wandered by and asked if he could help and he found what I needed.

This morning they were in advanced BrainFart mode. I have no idea what was going on. The meat department was being cleaned and there was no meat. I’m hoping this is some regularly scheduled cleaning and not the aftermath of a biohazard. Then they didn’t have the price on Pumpkin Ale and they said no price checkers were in the store that day. (?!) I said to just make their best guess and I’d be happy to pay it. I don’t want to stand around the market for 15 minutes.

Nope. Too late. The brainfart squad was in motion. Suspending my transaction, moving me aside and pulling out the red emergency phone to find someone who can price my damn pumpkin ale. I would have walked out of the store for ANYTHING except pumpkin ale.

The Portland Office in their Idaho Office

Oh, I was going to complain about the airport, too. God, I hate the airport. Luckily I only fly once or twice a year. One thing I noticed, it used be the TSA squad was a very ethnically diverse group. I couldn’t help but notice that this time around they were relentlessly Caucasian. Well, there was one black man but I bet he was relentlessly American.

Those people are obsessed with their stupid 1 quart resealable baggie. They don’t even look at it. You could have a baggie filled with three oz. bottles with skull and crossbones on it and they’d send you through. But boy, if you don’t have one, they’re going to be waving a baggie in your face. I swear I heard a TSA guy telling a lady in a wheelchair that there were terrorists smuggling nitro-glycerin onto planes in Gatorade bottles.

The other security thing that drives me batshit is that you have to show your ID and boarding pass to get in the security line. Then you have to take out your baggie, your laptop, and take off half your clothes, your shoes, your watch, empty your pockets. Then when you go through the security detector you have to show your boarding pass again. If you’re like me, you’re probably still holding your ID because when do you have time to put it away what with having only two arms and all? And they always hand it back to you and say, “You can put that away.” Oh. Can I?

Well, that’s enough hysterical wanking for one post.

I have to write a bunch of pages this weekend to be ready in time for the next writers meeting.

Update: this is exactly the reason I get so furious at airport security.

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