Do you ever have those mornings where you’re driving to work and you wonder if you finished getting ready? You vaguely remember brushing your teeth or putting on your underwear but you feel like you need to check.
Invention #1 â€“ If a car or truck’s turn signal remains on for more than 60 seconds the car or truck will start saying in an annoying robotic voice: “Turn indicator time frame has exceeded maximum. Manual shut off now.”
I used to have a folder that I carried with me everywhere that had all my “to do” stuff in it. I haven’t been able to find it for a couple weeks now. When I first noticed it was gone I kept thinking, it’ll turn up. It just got stuck somewhere. But now I’m not so sure. Maybe someone stole it. I hope he or she is getting all that stuff done.
Invention #2 â€“ An teleportation device so when someone’s pet poops in your yard the poop will instantly reappear on their lawn. If they don’t have a lawn, on their kitchen table.
What are the bases these days? Like when I was a girl, first base was kissing and second base was getting felt up above the waist and so on. Have the bases changed? Who’s in charge of that?
I barely read the comics any more. The only ones I read on any sort of regular basis are For Better or Worse and Get Fuzzy. This weekend I sent my mom and sister an email with the subject line: Elizabeth and Anthony Hooked Up. (RE: FBOFW) You could see this coming for awhile but I was really rooting for hot helicopter pilot.
Invention #3 â€“ a freeway merger. Sort of like when you go to the car wash, your car would click in and the cars already on the freeway would be clicked in and the merger would quickly, smoothly and efficiently merge everyone so that the on-ramp didn’t get all backed up.