The Awfulizer

Last night I woke up at around 1:30am with what Bob would call “a flippy stomach.” I got up and drank some bubble water and read for a half hour and everything settled down and I turned the light out.

And then tossed and turned with a few segments of troubled napping for the rest of the night.

My middle of the night brain and my regular brain are completely different beasts. I lay there awfulizing about the most random things that don’t even make sense. Like what if we both get sick and both lose our jobs and go through all our savings and have to grow our own food in the backyard and wolves roam the neighborhood and the vampires win and … .

I even realize that my middle of the night brain is just trying to freak me out while it’s doing it but still, I get all agitated and my heart races and I can’t sleep. Then I heard random sounds that worried me. One was like a gnat shivering. I kept thinking I should get up and investigate. Or another sound was like someone was going through our bills and papers in the kitchen. Because that really could happen in the middle of the night.

About 2:45a I heard my neighbor’s car start and I had to wonder what he was doing at the hour. Was he going to work? What kind of job starts in the middle of the night? Is he a security guard? Convenience mart? Maybe he just had insomnia and needed a drive. Good thing he has me worrying about it for him.

Then as I drifted in and out I had bizarre dreams like people were reaching in the bedroom windows and stealing my things and this dog that was running around the neighborhood that we had to catch and then random stuff about this person that’s famous for no clear reason who just got out of jail. It was a long night.

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