Malfunction Junction
I had an alarm malfunction this morning and I still don’t know what happened. My alarm has two settings and I set them a half hour apart (5:00/5:30) and turn them both on. I usually snooze a couple of times with the 1st one but get up before the 2nd one goes off.

This morning I woke up on my own and took a quick glance and figured I doze for a few until the first alarm went off. Then there was a time warp or something because next time I looked at my clock it said: 5:59. But I thought it said 6:59, the time I am usually sitting at my desk so I leapt from horizontal to sprint and ran out to the kitchen to check that clock. Then I had to sit there and count on my fingers for a second because I had to make sure it was a workday and then remember what time I usually leave for work. (6:30)

I was late, but not that late. I can get ready for work in a half hour including making my lunch. I hustled and all is well except I can’t figure out what happened to the alarm. It was definitely on, both alarms. I haven’t changed it recently. The am/pm wasn’t screwed up. The sound was working. It’s unlikely that I would have been hitting snooze for an hour and not remembered. It’s a mystery.

Last week I read a brief blurb something about Amway which reminded me of my boyfriend right after high school. We went to H.S. together but didn’t start dating until after graduation. This is the same boyfriend who who burned his eyebrows off on the ski trip from hell.

I suppose you could make an argument for the entrepreneurial spirit but I think he was looking for an easy way to make a buck and it was always some random thing. At one point it was acting. When he made this announcement I did that deep sigh / eyeball roll combo which caused him to get defensive and say that was exactly what his parents did. I can’t remember how this started but as I recall there were classes. ($$$).

[Aside, I think he actually was an extra in something and I remember watching Body Heat quite a few years ago and there’s a bar scene with an extra that looks like it could be him. Except the movie came out in 1981 so he would have been 17 so the math doesn’t compute.]

This guy was a disaster with money. Not like living beyond his means or running up debt more like poor choices and more poor choices. He bought a red convertible Fiat — just the car an 18 year old guy should drive. I mean yes in terms of the fun. One of my top 3 driving experiences of all time was driving his car back from Santa Barbara, where I was in college, to Agoura, where we lived. That’s about 70 miles along the Pacific Ocean and it was dream sequence heaven. But the insurance must have been insane and I can’t remember if he got tickets but I remember two fender benders and endless, endless repairs.

There was a joke that Fiat stands for “Fix it again, Tony” and it was true. That car always needed $400 worth of something so the b.f. was always scrambling for extra work or in debt to his Dad. He’d always say, “Once I get this thing fixed, that’ll be it.” Until the next weekend.

Then he thought taking acting classes would lead to tons of money. Then there was Amway.

I can’t remember the chronology or who dragged him into that mess but again, me with the eye-rolling and him on the defensive. You have to pay to start out and I’m sure he used his last few bucks or borrowed from his Dad.

What I remember was going to a meeting. And we went around shaking hands meeting sponsors or directors or agents or whatever the lingo was. At some point the new recruits were introduced and had to march across the stage and for some reason, someone thought it was a good idea if I walked with him. So there we were standing in front a room full of grown-ups cheering for Amway. Oh, so humiliating. No big surprise, he never made even enough money to cover the starter kit.