Sears, Salads and Spam

Dang! It’s happening again. My domain was hijacked for spam. The mailer-daemons are flying in. Why me? What did I ever do? Probably because I complained to Sears.

Remember the salads I made last Friday? I’ve been eating them ever since and yesterday, as I scraped the last scoops into little containers to take to work, I was thinking: there is no way I’m going to want to eat this one more time. But you know, I’m all thrifty and don’t like to waste things, etc. Sure enough, lunchtime came around and that was the last thing I wanted to eat.

So I ate some carrots and Wheat Thins (Big) and some sort of nut-granola bar that’s been in my desk since Christmas and hoped that would tide me over. Nope, by 3pm I was starving and I ate some more salads. At the end of the day I took the little bit leftover home and threw it all away. No one should have to eat the same thing more than 5 days in a row. Unless you’re stuck on a deserted island or some other dire circumstance.

Have you ever read survival stories where the people had to eat raw lizards or something like that to survive? And you’re thinking, “I’d never make it. I’d never be that hungry.” I don’t want to be tested on that one.

I called Sears to set an appointment to get the dishwasher fixed. They said we have a repair warranty until 2009. How foresightful of us. We bought it in 04 and usually when they try to sell us an extended warranty I stick my nose up in the air. If they tricked us into buying it, yay them.

When you call Sears they have one of those creepy over-caffeinated cheerleader robots that answers the phone and makes you say what you want to them. I don’t like talking to a robot in the first place but since it didn’t seem to accomplish anything except give me something to play with before I got a live body, I don’t see what the point is.

Which is faster?

Robot: Hello! Thanks for calling Sears! We want to help you! Please say your selection!. For example! If you want a repair! Say: repair!

Me: Repair. [I refused to say it with an exclamation point.]

Robot: You said you wanted repair! Is that correct!

Me: Yes.

Robot: Great! You want a repair! We want to help you with that!
[etc … ]


Phone Tree: Please select from the following. 1. Repair.

I press 1.


Then after all that the first live body I talked to asked me all the exact same questions and to punish me for asking, “Huh, why the robot if you ask me all the same questions?” after I answered all the questions she transferred me to someone who could help me who asked the same questions all over again.

Yeah, everyone, including the robot, was nice but why waste so much time and energy?

I tracked down their customer service comments and sent them a nice little note and I took the liberty of speaking for everyone when I told them no one liked their robot. I got a form note back apologizing for any inconvenience and thanking me for my input. That’s me, helping improve the world through plogic.

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