FIFA World Cup Final Game

I thought the game started at Noon but at 11:00a I had my brunch fixins spread out on the counter and laundry half sorted for the wash and the dishwasher open and half emptied and I thought I’d turn on the TV real quick to just see and turns out we were already 5 minutes into it. I didn’t even have my Italia soccer jersey on.

I abandoned everything I was doing because soccer must be watched. You can’t finish emptying the dishwasher and come back later because you might miss something.

About 15 minutes into it I decided that I could not listen to that imbecile Dave O’Brien for one more minute and I wanted to try Univision. But I didn’t know what number it was and I scrolled through the channels and saw something in the 700s that said World Cup so I clicked on that and it was the high definition channel. We don’t have HD but it was widescreen and it would have been nice to know that existed about 63 games ago.

It still had yammering Dave but apparently when you put your TV on HD the remote control takes on a life of its own and me, being on the slow side, had to click every button and remove the batteries to try to troubleshoot the problem with zero results. So now we’re 20 minutes into the game and I’m overwhelmed with anxiety because my remote won’t work and I can’t manually change channels back to the original broadcast because it will take too long and I might miss something critical in the game.

Finally at the half I got out of remote hell and switched to Univision for the second half. Univision is awesome. Even though my Spanish vocabulary is limited to words you find on a Taco Bell menu, I felt like I understood exactly what they were saying. Plus they were so excited about it. And the commercials were way better, too.

The highlight of the second half was when Zidane went down with an injury around the 80th minute and Cannavaro stepped in front of the camera and adjusted his shorts (rear view) which involved hiking way them up for an excellent leg/butt view. I almost passed out. They should make a calendar of that.

I don’t know what to say about that whole Zidane red card business. Sorry way to end a career. I don’t care what the other guy said. Also I meant to mention earlier that I don’t like those blue Italy uniforms. That dark blue swatch around the arms looks like a big pit stain. At least they won. Yay, Italia.

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