Dread Beyond Measure

I have my last dvd from ANGEL and tonight I watched the series finale, which I have already seen (actually 2x) and I STILL shed a few tears when [key character] died. And if you know the show, you know that most likely everybody died at the end (and if not, sorry for the spoilers but why have you waited this long to watch it?). So how many times are you allowed to shed tears for one show?

You know I get nervous in front of groups. Even just telling a joke to more than 2 people makes me nervous, and leading yoga class, even in front of people I know, is an excruciating experience.

I have this memory of being in band (no, not that “this one time, at band camp”) and we had testing . . . at least a couple times a year and you had to play by yourself in front of the whole class and this was pure torture for me. Dread beyond measure.

And I remember that feeling. The same one after your boyfriend dumped you, which I also became quite acquainted with, where you woke up in the morning and you felt okay for about 3 seconds and then you remembered, something was wrong. And then it hit you like a far flung 2×4 to the forehead: omigod, we have band testing today (OR, omigod, my boyfriend totally ditched my ass, what’s wrong with me?).

This was the feeling I had after the Angel episode where Angel became human after this demon blood touched him and he and Buffy got to have moments of real human bliss but then Angel had to be changed back into a vampire and only he would remember his day of bliss with Buffy and he had to tell Buffy that she wouldn’t remember and she insisted tearfully that she would remember but then she didn’t.

It was so tragic and even the next day I was depressed about it.

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