They Are All Doing It Wrong

Everyone is doing it wrong. I am overwhelmed by the number of people/entities I am dealing with right now that are doing it all wrong. I don’t understand how they could be in business and not have a clue how wrong they are doing it. I have jetted off numerous helpful notes intended to assist these people and entities in identifying their doing it wrongness. No doubt they are sorting through my nuggets of wisdom and quickly implementing fixes so that I can do more productive things with my time.

I don’t want to explain it all now because it will get me all worked up or else it would be inappropriate. But here are a few of the companies that I am schooling right now: Apple, Fred Meyer, Paypal, LexisNexis and [redacted].

When things start working better, you will have me to thank.

Meanwhile, I’ve been noticing lately that in movies and TV shows where a person gets bad news or a big shock and they often drop either a vase filled with flowers or a mug or sometimes a glass. Do people really drop things because of surprising news? Whenever you see a person carrying a giant vase you know bad news is on the way because it’s going to make a great slow motion shot when it crashes to the floor. When it’s a drink it’s usually either a cup of coffee or a glass of wine. You never see anyone drop a mug of root beer or a brandy snifter. Well sometimes the Mom has poured the kid a glass of milk. Dropping the glass of milk conveys oodles of dramatic information.

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3 Responses to They Are All Doing It Wrong

  1. Lincoln Log says:

    Everyone is stupid. Except us, of course.

    Somewhere, someone just dropped a vase full of flowers.

  2. Ballard Avenue says:

    Well, I dropped a bong once and damn if that didn’t cost me an entire cleaning deposit. Bong water got all over the carpet and that was all she wrote.

  3. Kira says:

    I have always assumed that if things start going better, we will have you to thank.

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