I’m not an Olympics person.

When I was younger I enjoyed watching but now it feels like it’s not about sports. It’s just about the U.S. winning. And the commentators make me want to stick forks in my ears.

I’ve watched about 3 minutes of the current games and every time I turned on the TV it was synchronized diving. Why is this even a sport? Why not synchronized bowling?

I’m going to invent the sport of competitive vacuuming and start a training camp at my house.

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