Why, Why, Oh Why Do I Go To Jantzen Beach?
Every time I try to buy something in Jantzen Beach, I regret it. It’s an awful, awful place.

Today I was all hot on this home improvement project that I will write more about later plus I had several lists for several stores for things to help out with this project.

Jantzen Beach Target is a big store filled with nothing you need but lots of cool things to buy. I got totally distracted from my mission although I did do valuable reconnaissance for future home improvement projects. I only managed to find one thing that I was actually looking for, plus a few other things that kept it from being a total wash.

Then I made the super critical error of going to my most loathed big box worthless chain store: Office Despot. I used to buy the office supplies there because it was an easy place to stop and even then I always complained about what a bad store it was.

One thing I wanted was Magic Markers. Do they even exist anymore? Did Sharpie buy up all the markers so it’s Sharpie or nothing? Because I didn’t want a Sharpie. I wanted a Magic Marker and there were none to be had. I also like these certain neon highlighters that had to be bought by the dozen, so I nixed on those. I wanted those cardboard magazine holder boxes and they had a super ugly one available only in a 6-pack (I figured I could collage them and make them pretty) or some sort of simulated leather thing that was also super ugly in a 2 pack. I know I’ve seen nice looking magazine boxes. I probably should have looked at Target.

I found one other thing on my list and went to the only line I saw, you know, the old slow guy who also has to answer the phone while all the other employees are running around doing godknowswhat? He had some complicated deal where he had to credit something and recharge something else and while he was sorting it out, I chatted with the other customer. Ten minutes later they get it all finished and old slow guy says: I’m going to ask you to go to another register. We’re closing up.

Me, aghast: After I’ve been standing here for 10 minutes?

Then, like the perpetual Ms. Congeniality that I am, I put my stuff on the counter and said: I have a better idea. I’ll spend my money somewhere else. And I stomped out.

Which, yes, really showed him. Because now I’ve been in Jantzen Beach for almost 2 hours and I have accomplished almost nothing except getting cranky. Damn you Jantzen Beach!

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