In the lunchroom at the office I found a quiz that had been copied from Newsweek magazine: Are You A Type D? I didn’t read the article and can’t remember the last time I even touched a Newsweek magazine. The fact that the magazine now contains stupid quizzes illustrates its worthlessness better than any words I could come up with.

But that didn’t stop me from taking the quiz.

Apparently there are “social and emotional” problems associated with a Type D personality that can increase your chances of heart disease.

The first question is: I make contact easily when I meet people. You’re supposed to answer False, Less False, Neutral, Less True, True.

Do you even understand the question? What does “make contact” mean? Are they asking me do I connect easily when I meet people? And what’s the definition of “meet”? When you’re in a business or social event and you’re introduced to someone? Or when you need a place to sit on the train?

My answer was False. I’m not a social failure but it usually takes me awhile to warm up to brand new people. I got a whopping 4 points for my answer. I’d like to point out that when I was younger I did suffer considerable heartburn over my uneasiness in social situations but now I hardly think about it. Who cares?

There are 14 questions total. Another example: I often feel inhibited in social interactions. Are we talking about a family get together or a big party where you only know the host? Are there people who don’t feel inhibited at certain social interactions?

So you get my point that the questions are stupid. Half the questions focused on alleged social inadequacies while the other half on negativity. Example: I am often irritated. Well these questions are irritating the hell out of me, I guess that’s a 4. (I actually gave myself a 4+).

On my negativity I got 9 and I needed a 10 to “qualify” as a Type D. But my social inhibition I got 13: Type D, I’m in the club!