Warts and All

Okay, here’s a story for you. I have a festival of plantar warts on my left foot. About 10 years ago I had a major plantar wart on my big toe, right foot. I ignored it, thinking it would go away, until finally it hurt to put on shoes.

At that time I had no doctor and for my “health insurance” you went by your zip code and I lived in North Hollywood. That was how they referred me to a doctor. Huge reading between the lines here.

So I make my appointment with the foot doctor and I arrive at my appointment at the lovely clinic in a strip mall and my doctor never came in that day so some other doctor says he can handle it and proceeds to give me the shot to numb my foot. Imagine a big long needle (and I’m not afraid of needles, normally) BENDING into my big toe to numb it for my procedure. My unfortunate but very devoted boyfriend at the time, Brian, (who is still a good friend, and all bow heads and think nice thoughts for B who is in Montana right now finishing his undergrad degree after all these years – go guy!) came in with me and I almost killed him squeezing his hand off. The doctor’s assistant complimented me for not screaming. So the witch Dr. carves the thing out of my toe and wraps it up.

Brian took me to Dances with Wolves after this nightmare medical office experience — which haunts me to this day. Although I will go into a medical office, I cannot hear about Dances with Wolves or Kevin Costner without telling them about my plantar wart.

So now how do I handle this new crop?

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