The Stuff That’s Hidden

I have a purse about the size of a mass market paperback book. It’s my going out purse when I don’t want to carry much except my money, ID, phone and keys. It’s the purse I use for soccer games.

Usually I stuff the bag into my jacket and skip bag check. I can’t remember the all the things you aren’t supposed to bring in. But the list is like weapons, sticks, offensive signs and outside food and drinks. Obviously I can’t fit any of those items into my dinky purse so it seems stupid to check the bag.

Last night I didn’t have my jacket zipped and I was right at the turnstile with the guy scanning my ticket when this security lady started screaming, “BAG CHECK! BAG CHECK! BAG CHECK!”

I realized she was pointing at me so I had to take my ticket out of the guy’s hand and go back to the security table where I unzipped my bag for a nice man and said, “That lady wants you to check my purse.”

He glanced in and laughed and said, “Hey, you could have dynamite in there.”

Meanwhile, my jacket had giant pockets which was where I stashed my plastic pants, my knit hat AND MY CONTRABAND COOKIES.

Remember my broken wheel from my chair at the office? Here’s the broken wheel.

Here’s the box from Master Caster. Is that the best name for a business or what?

Here’s the selection. None of them really fit my chair but I made do with one that’s close enough.

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5 Responses to The Stuff That’s Hidden

  1. Kira says:

    How did I know the chair story would have only a semi-resolved ending?

    I’m just really glad the contraband cookies made it in.

  2. Marvin says:

    You just look suspicious.

  3. Ballard Avenue says:

    As a matter of principle, Joyce would sneak in a water bottle to Seattle Mariners games. She’d put the pint bottle into her jacket sleeve and carry it in while the security guards were going all TSA on her bag. Saving $3—$3 for a bottle of water in the ballpark!—never felt so good.

  4. Keetha says:

    When we were in Memphis a couple of weeks ago, they were checking ID’s and purses for weapons. The female cop asked for my ID, looked through my purse, and waved me through. All the men folk in our group were subjected to the wand thing checking for weapons.

    You know, just because I’m a woman doesn’t mean that I may not be packing hit. I could have had a switchblade in my shoe.

  5. Keetha says:

    packing heat, I meant. Damn you auto corrrect.

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