While I was sick I watched Searching for Debra Winger a documentary by Rosanna Arquette. We just watched our tape of Ebert & Roeper from the weekend and Roeper was reminding viewers that the documentary was going to be shown one more time.
The reason I bring this up is because Roeper’s take on the film was that it was about how Hollywood treats actresses over 40. And sure that was part of it. But what I thought it was about was how difficult it is for women to balance their creative and/or professional life with their domestic life. Interesting because this is not generally an issue for men. And no one had a solution — the answer was: it’s hard. Sure, women can have it all but at the sacrifice of something. A lot of the women with kids said they did only one film a year. Some of the older women said they felt guilty about not doing more for their kids because they were working. I suppose a third option would be to never sleep and spread yourself too thin and drag ass through your life.
I don’t have to worry about the mother piece — but I struggle with the balancing act myself. I constantly feel like I have to negotiate for extended time to focus on my writing projects. Like I’m fighting to assert that I need this time to get focused and concentrate on my work and I want to skip doing things I’d normally do. And I feel like often, when it comes time for someone to put down what he or she is doing and take care of shopping, or meals or some other chore, that that person is me.
It’s not like Bob is blind to all this or doesn’t care. He’s supportive. But I just wish it didn’t feel like a struggle sometimes.