THE PAM NEWSLETTER 1992

Volume 2, Issue 1, Page 2

It's the "True Confessions - Tell All" Issue
You can do it too!!

Other things I've Been Doing

I went to Orleans a bunch of times. Over Memorial Day we celebrated my Grandma's 80th Birthday which was a definite "E" ticket affair .

I started running (everyone in Portland is doing it) and even ran in a 5 mile race.

For Halloween I was Wayne to my cousin Kathy's Garth. We were most excellent and have decided to cross-dress on a regular basis. For Thanksgiving I went to LA, ate two dinners and ran around trying to do everything for even just a few short minutes.

I finally got over my fear of telling people I'm trying to write a novel. I just finished the first draft right before Thanksgiving. Trust me when I say I have a TON of work to do before you can even think about getting your hands on your own copy - so don't even ask. I have been keeping it a big secret - what the story is about but I figure that now that the first draft is done, it's safe to tell a little about it.

It's a sort of mythical fairy tale type saga in which this reasonably intelligent and good-humored woman decides it's time to find a husband (really, it's not autobiographical) so she decides that she'll marry the first man that can get her refrigerator door to stop squeaking. Well, men are lined up for miles for a chance at this and finally one day this knight in shining armor manages to fix the offending squeak. Then, you know how I have this thing for weird gender bender stuff - well, the knight is really a woman. So you can see it's a really great story - touching on all sorts of issues.

Starving Nerds

Speaking of books here's a few recommendations: Douglas Coupland, Generation X. This is a must. Also: Christopher Morris, Practical Demonkeeping, any books by Amy Tan or Anne Rice, read A Prayer for Owen Meany by John Irving. Try to find a book called Cowboys Are My Weakness by Pam Houston. If nothing else, you have to read this story "How to Talk to a Hunter."

While I'm recommending things - I strongly suggest you try Ben & Jerry's Strawberry Banana Frozen Yogurt. Actually, any money spent on Ben & Jerry products is money well spent plus they're all environmental so you can feel good about supporting their business.

Other Items Intended to Stretch Out This Letter a Tad Longer

Remember how in college I was completely daffy over Def Leppard? They were like my religion? Okay, well now I HATE THEM. I hate the title of their album, I hate the small bits I've seen of their videos, I hate the way they look - Joe Elliot, you need some professional advice for that hair. I hate everything about them. 'Let's Get Rocked'? Puh-leese, lamest rock song of all time closely followed by 'Have you Ever Wanted Someone so Bad?'. My solution is to ban them from the continent. And while we're at it, let's stick Foreigner on the same boat. Some rockers need to be encouraged to retire.

This is a true local fact : there is an espresso bar in the local True Value Hardware store. Seriously, could I make this stuff up?

Go see some movies. See: Gas, Food, Lodging with Ione Skye and Brooke Adams. Go see this foreign film Delicatessen. Make sure you see Howard's End.

Birthday Reminder:

Last year I think I was pretty subtle about my birthday reminder but this year I'm just saying it. Look, my birthday's December 30th. Don't forget.

While you're at it - when you get your new 1993 Calendar you'll want to note that on December 30th of 1993 I'll be celebrating my GOLDEN birthday. It's GOLDEN because I will be 30 on the 30th - this will be a day fraught with significance. Now, a lot of you are probably bummed because you already had your golden birthday and you totally missed it because you didn't even know. All I can say is - don't let me suffer the same pitiful fate, you've got plenty of time to think of something special for me and you can retroactively enjoy the event vicariously through me.

Hope everyone had a great year and I wish you an even better one next year. Happy Holidays and Happy New Year and everything.

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PHOTOGRAPH:The Starving Nerds Moving Service. Photographer: Collette

This page was made on December 5, 2000. Featured artist: silence. Featured beverage: water. My computer is a much loved lime iMac named Yoda. My software is BBEdit 5.0 which I am barely competent at using and Dreamweaver at which I am even worse.

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