Volume 4, Issue 1, Page 1

I saw John DeLorean at Arby's


Erin in MonsterlandFirst of all, why does anybody think I want chain letters? I don't okay? Despite what the well-copied directions say, all chain letters are pyramid schemes and therefore illegal. (look up Mail Fraud 18 U.S.C.A. § 1341, it's Chapter 63 Frauds and Swindles, see also Blachly v. U.S. 38 F.2d 665)[note I think I copied the cite wrong. Sorry to anyone who actually cares.) Secondly, there is absolutely nothing fun about them. In the last couple of years I've gotten chains for old paperback books (at least 3 of this one), recipes, "women who want to create" money scam, pretty panties. I'm not making this up. I never do them. When you open your mail box and you see an envelope with my name on it--you can guess that there is something at least mildly interesting in there. If I get an envelope from you and it has a chain letter, it makes me very unhappy.


How many of these things do you send out? The first year I made about 40, the 2nd year 60, and last year I think about 75. This year I'm guessing at least 100. "God, I don't even know that many people," is the common reaction. You think I do? I send it to anyone who asks and a hell of a lot of people who don't ask. In another 20 years or so it's going to be a slick, glossy paper full-fledged magazine that you actually have to pay for so enjoy it while it lasts.


I don't have a whole lot of steamy dreams, but then what's a lot? But lately I've been having steamy dreams about not-steamy guys and its bumming me out. Couldn't I dream I'm on a bus with Keanu? Apparently not. I dreamt about John Travolta. Puh-leeze. This was before Pulp Fiction even. I also dreamed about this goof I had one of my famous obsessed crushes on in high school.

One of my recurring dreams about having babies or taking care of babies. I often can't remember the baby's name, or how long I've had it or who the father is or even if it is mine. I also have recurring dreams about getting married and forgetting to mail the invitations, or realizing that I planned to have my wedding when my parents would be out of town. What does it all mean?

That's all for this year--Happy Holidays. Pamela

The X Files
Melrose Place
smooth chin
the other white meat
Harrison Ford
Tommy Lee Jones
Ricki Lake
personal growth
projecting our crap onto others
bench aerobics

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Collect them all: 2000 | 1999 | 1998 | 1997 | 1996 | 1995 | 1994 | 1993 | 1992 | 1991 | Debut | pampage

PHOTOGRAPH: My sister. If I had half a brain I could probably make this look really cool but instead I'm leaving it like it is.

This page was made on December 3, 2000. Featured artist: Paul Westerberg. Featured beverage: water. My computer is a much loved lime iMac named Yoda. My software is BBEdit 5.0 which I am barely competent at using and Dreamweaver at which I am even worse.