Tag Archives: everyone is stupid

Turdpress is Stupid

I’m frittering away my last day of winter break fricking around with this stupid website. I need to move on so this is going to be it.

#1 — You might have noticed I didn’t end up doing much Photoshop or even start Illustrator. I prioritized writing instead. More on that in a different item below. So no fancy new tricks for awhile. Probably.

#2 — Insomnia is my friend again. And by my friend, I mean, not my friend. I wake up every night between midnight and 4am and what happens next is anyone’s guess. About every third night I get back to sleep so things aren’t dire at the moment but when I get back to my regular work schedule we’ll see what happens.

#3 — I’m going to skip what I had for #3 and move writing from #4 to #3.

Every January since 2009 I have decided to that I would get serious and do a first draft of my manuscript. Every year real life has intervened. I’ve decided that this year is going to be different only because I can’t seem to quit this stupid idea.

This guy said many of the things I end up thinking. Here’s a quick sample:

Very slowly, I’m figuring out I probably should not waste any more time on writing. It seems increasingly passive and banal, the whole exercise. There’s real stuff that needs doing!

But I’m going to waste more time on writing.

This is the first year I didn’t have “just one other thing” that I wanted to finish before I get started. I’m in it. Last fall I got in the habit of going to work a little bit earlier so I can have an hour to write before work. We’re going to try to keep this momentum going. I also had a piece of the story that I couldn’t figure out and I think I finally figured it out.

I just spent a ridiculous amount of time and patience trying to figure out how to put a progress counter in the right hand column but I give up. And probably for the better because while my intention is to keep me motivated, I suspect it would lead to despair.

Here’s where I’m at now. For my finished product I’m aiming around 90K, the first draft will most likely end up much shorter. If there’s anything more insufferable than people talking about doing yoga it’s talking about their novel. I’m going to try not to be insufferable but I’ll update the word count every once in awhile.

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The Most Wonderful Time of the Year

Every year at this time I am amazed that we’re doing this all again. The world is going to be ruined for the next month.

Have you ever had it happen where you have a quick errand, maybe you need to run to the hardware store or grab something at a big box store? Then you realize it’s 3pm on a Saturday between Thanksgiving and Christmas and the worst thing you could do is try to run a quick errand?

I always plan everything by when the store opens. If it opens at 10am, I will be there at 10:01am and out of there by 10:30am. I expect my intense dislike of anything crowded (except Timbers games) is well known to anyone who has read more than 3 of my posts. Maybe other people don’t think the world is ruined for the month of December.

It’s a cliche about how everything starts earlier and earlier. But it feels like it’s true. Christmas music before Thanksgiving? I had to reprogram my car radio because I don’t want to hear any Christmas music for at least 2 more weeks.

I had to go to the mall to take care of a few things so I went on Friday realizing it was the last weekend before insanity. Santa was there. Everything was in full swing. Before Thanksgiving.

I do not approve.

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The Dog

A few months ago we noticed our mail had stopped coming.

At first we thought maybe we just weren’t getting mail. But Bob keeps track of the Netflix so by Day 4 he knew there was a problem. On Day 5 he went to the post office where the nice clerk said, “Well yes, here’s all your mail. I have no idea why it’s being held and the person you need to ask isn’t here.”

The word “dog” was scrawled on one envelope.

In that packet of mail was one of those “you have a package at the post office” slips so I had to go back to the post office the next day to pick up my package. Again the person we needed to talk to wasn’t there.

That afternoon (day 7 since they suspended our service) we got regular mail delivery and in the mail was a letter from the post office informing us that our dog was out and the post office did not want to deliver our mail until they were reasonably assured that there was no danger from our dog. They don’t want postal carriers getting bitten.

You know what? I don’t want postal carriers getting bitten either. But you know what else? WE DON’T HAVE A DOG.

I wrote back and explained that and pointed out that without timely notice and a description of the dog: there is no way I could do anything about this.

What am I supposed to do? Walk around knocking on doors asking the neighbors if they have a dog that happened to be loose and on our lawn a week earlier?

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Operational Reasons

Not available due to operational reasons. I’m going to start using that one.

For our trip, 3 of our flights were operated by United and 1 by Lufthansa. I never thought I’d be comparing Lufthansa unfavorably to United but these are the times we live in.

United let me make seat reservations for free. Lufthansa wanted $35. Since it was a 10 hour flight, we decided it was worth it to make sure we were elbow-to-elbow with each other instead of random strangers. (Yes, there were work arounds, those weren’t going to work for us.)

When we arrived to the check-in kiosk the above notice welcomed us.

When I got home I phoned Lufthansa as instructed and the customer service agent told me she wasn’t sure how to deal with it so I would need to send copies of our boarding passes and our itinerary to email customer service to request a refund. This didn’t make me too happy seeing as how I paid for a convenience that United offered me for free on THREE other flights and then I didn’t even benefit and now the burden was on me to document this and try to get my money back.

I consider this straight-forward. They have the technology to take my money and give me a ticket with onerous cancellation provisions, they have the technology to check me in, print me a boarding pass. We even checked our luggage in ourselves. It shouldn’t be too tough to verify that we paid for seats, we didn’t get those seats and issue a refund.

Almost 2 weeks. Nothing.

I’m still have a hard time getting back to my routine. Just too many things going on.

Haven’t worked on the photos yet. The computer says there are 597 photos but I accidentally loaded some in twice so I think it’s more like 497. hehe. The above photo is dated for after I got home so not sure how I snafu’d but I’m going to guess that it’s Bruges.

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18 Years with This Guy

Here we are in Montreal on the way to the Timbers match. We were on the Metro and a spanger was working her way through the train asking people if they spoke English and then telling a sob story and asking for money. She got to us and before we could even answer she shook her head and moved on.

Could we look more American?

Happy Anniversary Sweetheart.

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One More Chance to Get it All Wrong

The past couple weeks have been ground zero for doing it wrong.

I wanted to put a travel alert on my bank account. I went to the branch and was told to wait for a banker. I talked to the banker and he seemed surprised like I was a fussy old lady and he was just indulging me. Then he thought I should open another bank account: just for travel. That way if something happens, I have an alternative.

I’m ahead of you pal, I have another account at a different bank. I also asked the banker specifically what the travel related fees would be and he agreed that there would be fees and that would be something to watch out for. Then he tried to sell me an American Express card to save on fees. I felt it was unlikely that travel related fees would be more than the annual fee for Am Ex.

Then after all that he told me I still had to call customer service.

Remember my rant about Verizon and how all they can do at the store is sell you stuff? Same at the bank. They can give you your very own cash that you earned yourself and they store for you or they can sell you stuff. They can’t do anything else. I called customer service and got into a phone tree where the only choices were to check my bank balance or get transferred to someone who could sell me something. I had to do that thing were you yell at the auto-attendant until she reluctantly transferred me to a person. I finally got that settled.

And speaking of Verizon, I needed to confer with them also about this travel. Phone tree that had no choices that I want. Yelling. Put into waiting queue and told they are experiencing extra long wait times. What does that mean? Unfortunately I didn’t have an extra long time right then. I decided to try the live chat (I know you’re shaking your head right now, desperate times … ). The interface was confusing but once I was connected it was kinda okay. At one point I was totally confused about what was going on and thought: I should call customer service so I can ask questions. Then I remembered that I was talking to customer service. I think this one is settled, too.

Finally, I ordered a specialty item from a store that only sells 2 things. In order to do this I was forced to create a user account, including a separate username other than my email address and it scolded my only moderately secure password. Like I need a really secure password for a place I’m never going to return to. I ordered both things. One magically arrived on my doorstep. Never got a shipping confirmation or anything. I figured the 2 items must have been separated in transit but several days later I still hadn’t received them so I went to the website and logged in. It didn’t need a username, just my email and moderately secure password. And next to my second item it said cancelled-back ordered. So I had to contact customer service which luckily was straight email and I also kindly suggested implementing a system to inform customers what the hell is going on with their order. I guess it’s not cancelled, just back ordered and they appreciated my suggestion. Just kidding! No one ever tells me they appreciate my suggestions.

I’m going to be offline for a couple of weeks. There will be tweets and photos.

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FIFA World Cup Games 27 and 29

These two games wore me out. I am finished.

Argentina v. Iran

I don’t think one single game has gone the way I expected. I thought was going to be an easy rout for Argentina with me turning off the TV after the half so as not to have to watch the horror. I was very wrong. Iran was amazing. I found myself conflicted. Who doesn’t like to see an underdog beat one of the favorites? Argentina found a heartbreaker in stoppage time and I felt bad for Iran. But if you’re going to get your heart broken, at least it was at the feet of Messi.

Germany v. Ghana

What a game. Great playing on both sides. And completely exhausting. I thought it was kind of interesting that the commentators seemed to be writing Germany off when USA and Portugal haven’t even played yet. Let’s not jinx it by assuming the outcome.

So, the good news is that the technical problem I was whining about the other day is actually an update to Photoshop.

Just kidding. That’s not good news at all. It took me what, 18 months to finish a 15 hour class on the last version I had? It asked me if I wanted to import my settings. Yes, I clicked. My settings were not imported. Bob asked if I had a back-up. Of course I have a back-up but I don’t need a half-day project because 1 computer program updated.

I’m going to putter out in the yard for a bit. I need the fresh air and sunshine and the garden needs any attention I am willing to give it. I need to wait until my bread is finished. I haven’t baked in a couple of weeks and have been missing decent bread. EVERYTHING that comes from the grocery store, no matter what it’s called or what shape it is, is soft, squishy crap. I would rather not eat bread than eat soft, squishy bread.

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Yesterday when I sat down to post, all my stories vanished from my mind. It wasn’t until I started doing something else that I remembered some of them.

All my winter long underwear is disintegrating, or worse. I have this habit of thinking I will buy new seasonal wear and then putting it off for so long that I decide to get through the season with what I have and buy new the following season. But I don’t get rid of the ratty stuff. I hang onto it in case I need it before I have time to get the new stuff. And then the cycle continues.

I, cleverly I thought, went and found some long underwear on clearance to buy now. Then I could throw away the ratty stuff and be treated with pretty new stuff next winter when my butt gets cold.

I bought it on March 27th and according to my tracking number it arrived in Portland on April 3. Since then it’s been in transit. At the beginning of last week I phoned to find out what was happening and of course the phone system of Giant Global Delivery Service is automated and after making me state my 22 digit tracking number into the phone, it told me my package was in transit. Gee, thanks for the helpful update!

Then I went to email help. After 24 hours I received message, apologizing for any inconvenience I might be suffering while being denied access to my long underwear for next winter, and asking for the delivery address.

Shouldn’t this information be attached to the tracking number?

I complied and 24 hours later I received message, apologizing (… etc) and asking for my phone number and assuring me that they would contact me to let me know what’s going on.

Still haven’t heard. Already this clearance underwear isn’t worth it *plus* they couldn’t ship the order complete so who knows what else I have to look forward to.

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The Department of Doing it Wrong

About every 2-3 weeks were getting a special, exclusive, JUST-FOR-YOU offer for a business loan for the tenant who was in our space before us. I’m talking about the office. He moved out in September of 2008. I can understand maybe a year later, but 5+ years? Update your mailing list.

Last week, in a fit of irritation, I stuck the offer into the pre-paid envelope and wrote on it, “This person hasn’t been at this location since 2008.”

This week we got another letter for previous tenant who is not at this location. The image above is from that letter. It was a normal white paper letter. I added the rainbow and the texture, because I can.

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Happy Bowl is Finished

I have a piece of exercise equipment that failed in exactly the way they have a lifetime guarantee that it won’t fail.

This exercise equipment has different pieces and this particular piece I could easily live without but you know, principle of the thing. I went online to see how this lifetime guarantee thing works.

They have one of those webpages that you scroll down forever and the text alternates black, red and blue and in different sizes. Lots of act now for a special offer and when you click away a window pops up asking: Are you sure you want to leave this page? I swear there’s a marketing template of this somewhere because I’ve seen the same style on a huge variety of products. The lifetime guarantee is cited numerous times.

I found a link that said it would tell me more about the lifetime guarantee and I clicked away and there it was all spelled out how the lifetime guarantee works. I didn’t even have to send my piece back, I just had to pay for shipping and they’d replace it for me. For more information on how this works, click here.

And that link took me back to the page with the first link. And I clicked until I did the circle again before I said, Wait a minute.

So there very clearly is a lifetime guarantee but how make it work for you is going to take some digging.

And I could dig. There is a phone number but how much is my time and energy worth?

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