Category Archives: TIMBERS!

It’s Everything I Wish I Didn’t Know

Hey, check out these little watermelon sproutlets, surging toward the window.

I keep promising myself that I’m not going to write about being busy because, d’oh! Everybody’s busy.

But holy avalanche of documents and activities, this week has been another crazy one. Lots of stuff going on and an unusual blip at the office that has resulted in a bunch of stuff needing to be happen at the same time. On separate occasions, both colleague and I stood in front of our desks and stared down at the piles and said: I have no idea what I’m supposed to be doing right now.

But, I think we’ve got it under control. (Unless by writing that I just jinxed myself.) I still have plenty to do but all the pieces are in place.

Rainbow of Piquionne (name of our player who scored 4 goals in 45 minutes at this game. Yes, it was awesome to watch.)

On Wednesday my team played the first round of the U.S. Open Cup which is a competition among all the teams in the US Soccer Federation. Last year’s game was an abomination and a forbidden topic.

This year’s game was not. I have never seen my team score 5 goals in one game and I liked it very much. This is separate from Major League Soccer. I’m telling you, soccer is a part time job. The boys have the weekend off for the international break (That’s for competitions among national teams, so above and beyond the league and the US federation. There’s also a regional federation. No, I’m not messing with you.) so we only have a lady team match to go to this weekend.

Here are a couple other updates:

I still don’t have a shower door. I’d tell you all the missteps but it’s too exhausting. The latest snafu is that the glass was the wrong size.

Now they’re saying they can install next Wednesday. Everybody think good thoughts.

Our house is apparently a portal for giant hairy flies. There is always 1 giant hairy fly in the house. It lurks in the kitchen when I’m cooking, the bedroom when I’m trying to sleep or nap, my room when I’m on the computer or on the TV when I’m watching a show. If I follow it around with a fly swatter until I kill it, the next time I go into the kitchen there will be a giant hairy fly. Is there a way to monetize this?

Yesterday I participated in a rally for the Klamath salmon. Coverage here and here.

The power company has agreed to take down the dams but Congress needs to take action to make it happen. An Oregon senator is committed to the cause so the rally was to reiterate that there are still people who want this to happen.

A whole bunch of my family was up from California so it was fun to be with everybody and show our support.

Update on the windowsill sprouts. Look at these pumpkins growing like crazy. it’s warm and dry this weekend so everybody is going to be planted outside. I have a spot out front where historically, the pumpkins have done really well. I also am going to put some in back where I’ve had mixed results. I need to get out there and see what’s going on. It looks like there’s already some stuff bolting and the volunteer sunflowers are still coming on strong.

That’s the update for now.

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By Any Other Name

Did I mention we have a lady team?

I’m not completely sold on this iPhone camera yet. But since I am learning to use the phone on the 5 minutes a week schedule, I’m hoping there are some tricks that I haven’t figured out yet.

And sadly, as it turns out, this additional set of home games is the straw that is breaking the camel’s back.

If I had no interest in writing, or my butt size, or how clean my house is, or how weedy my yard is, or how much sleep I get, I could do all this.

Or if I was independently wealthy and didn’t want to work.

But as it turn out, I am having a tough time managing all these games along with all the other things that I would like to accomplish in my life.

I love the team. The goalie is my new girl crush. But I am learning that sometimes it’s okay to skip a game. This includes the U-23 games and at least one exhibition game. Next year when it’s World Cup, it’s going to be crazy.

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Green Machine

Today the Portland Timbers did a Make-A-Wish event where they played a game against the Green Machine, a team of 8 year olds. The event was in honor of Atticus who found out he had cancer when he had pain while playing with his team last year. He missed their final match because of his treatments.

He wanted his wish to include his teammates.

3000 fans attended the match which was during lunch hour. The supporters group made special banners and signs and revised the chants in favor of the Green Machine. There is no way to convey how amazing it was to be a part of this event.

There’s a great video recap here.

The Oregonian has a terrific photo essay here. There’s also a Facebook photostream here.

Even Deadspin couldn’t come up with anything bad to say about it.

A few highlights:

The Green Machine won 10-9 with Atticus scoring 4 goals including the game winner.

The post game remarks note: “It was the first loss for the Timbers since March 9.”

When the Timbers came onto the field they were booed and serenaded with around of “Go home you bums.” They also got booed every time they scored. The Timbers team captain Will Johnson was busted with a couple of fouls and was booted out of the game with a red card while his teammates protested.

In the first half the Timbers fielded 4 players and I don’t remember how many the Green Machine had, maybe 8. In the second half the Green Machine’s entire bench was on the field and it was hilarious watching the Timbers try to do anything when surrounded by Green Machine players.

At the end of the match, the team captain traded jerseys with Atticus and then put the tiny jersey on.

Updated to add: Here’s a better video clip. The whole thing is great but the bit when the Green Machine see their locker room is priceless.

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The Saturdays

This is from the reserves match earlier this week. We sat in the club seats. There was rain, hail, cold feet and a pretty sky. You can kind of see the hail in this next one:

Last week was another busy and tiring one. Apparently at my advanced age I can’t do everything all the time.

Yesterday I had some downtime. Last night I slept like a champion. And today I am trying to do everything again.

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Season Opener

Great opener yesterday. Perfect weather. We came back from 3-1 at the half to tie New York 3-3. It’s going to be a great season.

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It Has Begun

Here’s Kalif, back in action.

Timbers preseason started yesterday. Yay.

I was going through my photos from preseason last year and wondering why I took so few photos. Probably because I was freezing my buns off and didn’t want to take my hands out of my pockets.

Yesterday wasn’t gruesome but this lizard girl was a tad colder than she would have liked. At least it wasn’t raining. Still was super fun being back at the stadium and saying hi to all the familiar faces from last year.

We have an extra-crazy busy schedule for the next month or so. I am preemptively freaking out about it today. Posting here even scarcer than usual.

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Happy Holidays Everyone!

Here’s a link to all the 12 Days of Christmas photos. I don’t know how to make it so that the whole post shows up so you have to click through to see the photos. That’s on my list of things to fix someday if I’m feeling ambitious. It’s probably easier to go to the main page and scan through the photos that way.

Here’s my wrap up for the year post.

I had one new publication which you can find here: The Last Willow Stick on the River which originally appeared in Yellow Medicine Review, Spring 2012.

My other big publishing success was my eBook of short stories: Red Tape Stories From Indian Country. If you need a last minute gift, I can’t think of anyone whose life wouldn’t be brightened by a book of stories about Indians with time machines and hostile fish and other unexpected problems. It’s available anywhere you can buy eBooks. Here’s a link to the Smashwords edition and another one for Amazon. It’s cheaper than a beer at Jeld-Wen.

One of the highlights of my year was seeing a million Timbers games (a million is not enough!). I’m sure you’ve got time on your hands, why not check out my endless photostream? Wait, there’s more. I have a separate photostream for the Sounders rivalry matches.

We also had a terrific trip to New York this summer. Photos here.

I’m sure other stuff happened but I can’t think of it right now and as usual, I spent the morning working on my story so now I’m behind on everything else and I need to fold clothes and make gravy and wrap presents.

I’ll be offline for about a week. Thanks for stopping by.

Hope all your holiday wishes come true.

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What It’s Like to Love the Last Place Team

Seattle game tifo with Clive Charles.

You’ve probably been wondering, what’s up with these Timbers she’s so crazy about? She never talks about them anymore. Has she moved on? Was that just a passing obsession? Is she now into collecting expensive purses or going to foreign film festivals?


I still love the Timbers. I still go to every home game including the reserves and exhibition games if I am in town.

When I started writing this I hadn’t seen them win since June 24th. They actually won another game on July 3 but I was out of town.

They won big this weekend breaking an 8 match winless streak and sending the fans cartwheeling into the aisles.

Here’s how I was summarizing the season before that win.

Positive things.

I’ve been on the jumbotron 4 times! I visited the Timbers locker room! One of my tweets was on the jumbotron (at a reserves game). One of the Timbers retweeted me and one of the Timbers responded to one of my tweets.

We’ve gone through two buy-12-get-one-free pint cards and two frequent buyer slice cards.

I know what you’re thinking: “Uh, this positive stuff is all about you.”

That is true.

My beloved team is in last place in our conference. When I started this post there was only one team in the league with fewer points than us. By 1. Since Saturday’s win there are 2 teams with worse records.

It is rugged being in love with the last place team. Some team has to be in last place but it’s usually someone else’s team.

My team leads in all the worst statistics. We’ve never won a game on the road. We’ve lost games in the last minutes. We’ve lost leads. We’ve never come from behind. If there’s a miracle goal or a miracle play, it happens for the other team against us. We’ve had games where we made millions of shots on goal but none in goal. Too bad the game isn’t whomping the ball over the top of the net.

We hosted an exhibition game against EPL team Aston Villa. Almost the entire roster was out on the field which I loved.

Every week on our TV show we’re building on some tiny moment of non-horribleness. One game we tied 0-0 and they were talking about building on that. We tied on the road. We’re building on that. At least we scored on the road.

These are the things we’re building on.

But this team has the most loyal fans in the universe, including me. And they know it. Well, they don’t know about me personally. But check out the Army section:

Green smoke means GOAL!

I don’t mind if we’re not the best. I don’t mind losing sometimes. But holy moly, every game takes 10 years off my life because even if we’re ahead I can never enjoy it. I can’t trust my guys to keep it together. That lady screaming “whistle!” starting in the 79th minute is me.

I still love them and I’m still RCTID. This life and the next.

Check out Boyd’s smile. I also like media guy with his pointy finger. This was from an earlier match before Troy Perkins was traded to Montreal.

Lots more photos here: Timbers! Here’s the photoset from the Sounders rivalry match.

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Greatest Football Supporters

Fan Appreciation Day at Jeld-Wen Field.

These are our seats as seen from the pitch.

Ticket partner and I approached this thing all wrong. There are something like 14,000 season ticket holders which we didn’t compute in any intelligent way.

We arrived at the field early. There were maybe 30 people in line.

Rather get free hotdogs inside we went for our usual pre-game pizza and beer at a place next to the field.

We finished right at the time the gates were opening and at that point the line wrapped halfway around the stadium. D’oh!

Here I am on the player bench. I just realized I should have photoshopped this photo with the one above but too late now.

By the time we got inside there were already long lines formed at all the stations.

There was an autograph station, photo station with a group of players at the log, another photo station with a group of players at one of the capo stands and then players on the field with mobs around them.

Corner kick!

We picked the line for the locker room tour, a place I have been dreaming of visiting since my very first game. Of course the dream would involve the players actually being in there but this was still pretty good.

Unfortunately, no photos in the locker room. Also no touching things. There’s a meeting room that looks like an employee lunch room, workout area, rehab facilities, the actual locker room with all their stuff. Perkins had a bunch of slabs by his locker. Then a climate controlled boot room. Then we came out of the tunnel and my little fangirl head exploded.

During the event the players were herded off the field and to duty at one of the stations. Ticket partner took my photo with Kalif! as he was being dragged off to the log station. I don’t have favorite players, I love them all, but if I did, Kalif would be one of them.

By the time we got out of the locker room the event was half over. We wandered around on the field for awhile and finally decided we didn’t want to wait in another line so we took off. Now we know how it works for next year.

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Just got back from Fan Appreciation Day at Jeld-Wen Field home of the Portland Timbers. More photos to come. Here I am next to the players bench. The coach stands in front of the bench here. I said a bunch of bad words and kicked it in his honor.

Also, this is happening. I think I’ll do a lap around the block on the way home from work tomorrow and turnover the magic number. This is my second time turning 100K in my own car and I remember doing it once in a car with my family. I remember us driving around and all watching the odometer and shouting: 99997! 99998! 99999! Very sweet memory. I wish we could do it together tomorrow.

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