Category Archives: sleepless in Vancouver

Little Squash

When I visited California, Mom was busy picking bales of squash and zucchini.

I said, Why did you plant so many?

The plants took up a huge section of the garden.

Mom said, That’s two plants. Two.

That’s why I’m afraid to plant squash.

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Sleeping with Anyone But Yourself

Urgh. 3:30am – we’re never going to be friends.

I use a clock radio as an alarm. I had the radio set to one of those popular music of the last several decades stations but in November it went to all Christmas music so I switched it. Right now it’s on a station that sounds like contemporary music but I never recognize a single song. And true, I’m not super up-to-date on the current hits but I’m not oblivious. This is like a radio portal to music that exists somewhere else.

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Flower Photos Are Easy to Make Look Good

Sorry to be a boring broken record, but little improvement on the sleepless front. Slept like the dead until 3:30a – so improving, but still falling short of our goals. I’m not giving up.

This was in my scan folder and the original scan has the photos side-by-side like we got those sheets of school photos when we were kids. But the photos were mis-aligned and one was blurrier. Not sure what that was all about. I practiced all kinds of things with this one.

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In the Drift

After an amazingly long streak of problem free sleep, the insomnia monster is back. At first I was waking up between 3 and 5, which wasn’t too bad. And I’d drift so it was like an early morning nap. But every night this week I’ve woken up at 12:30 and then drifted. This is not optimal.

I already failed the bringing the lunch to work thing on the 2nd day. I went out to lunch with a friend. That lunch made leftovers so today is leftovers supplemented with stuff from home.

I loved having hot soup in a thermos except it was kind of a rush in the morning to get it ready. I don’t think this exercise has inspired me to bring my lunch more often.

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The Lions’ Sack

It never fails that if I string together a couple of award-winning nights of sleep over the weekend, Sunday night I will wake up at 2am and stare at the ceiling for a few hours. Bob was up around 4am and we chatted a bit, mostly about being awake and wishing we weren’t. I was thinking about getting up and making tea and reading but next thing the alarm blasted out Huey Lewis and the News and frightened me awake. Great way to start the day!

I went through all my glasses and put the ones I don’t need into a sack for the Lions or whatever that service club is that will take your old glasses. I asked Bob to grab me a bunch of +2’s at the dollar store. +2 or +3’s I can’t remember how strong I get. Kids, write this down: once you hit your mid 40’s your eyes completely go to hell. If your eyes are hell before that, I’m not sure what happens.

I now have glasses in every drawer, the car, the backpack. I accidentally left a pair in Timbers ticket partner’s truck and later found them and then left a different pair behind.

Last night I realized that my back-up pair for work was in the Lions’ sack which meant there was no back-up pair at the office. Do you have any idea how screwed I am if I don’t have my glasses? I don’t even like to eat without my glasses on. Problem being addressed.

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Snap Time

Snap is the word I invented to mean opposite of a nap. It’s when you’re awake in the middle of the night.

I have had a 2+ hour snap almost every night for over 3 weeks. Urgh. Why does my body do this?

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What I Wish I Was Doing Today

Match Day Ritual

Summer: This is the match day ritual.

Last week I was reading some story online and the person was dealing with finances. One super bright and forward thinking commenter suggested getting another job such as newspaper delivery.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

Who gets newspapers anymore?

Well, we do. But we’re the olds. Is there anyone under 30 who has newspaper delivery?

Historically, during the holidays our delivery person gives us a Holiday Greeting which is really information on how to send them a tip. We always send something. Last year the delivery family had a list of about 8 newspapers they were delivering. A couple months later we got a note from them that they’d lost the contract because someone underbid them.

I don’t think there’s a whole lot of opportunity in newspaper delivery.

I’m having insomnia issues this week and I wake up at 3am when the paper comes. The new guy stops the car, turns it off and then does who-knows-what for a few minutes. Then the car door opens, the paper hits the front door, and the car door closes. Then he restarts the car, drives next door and the whole thing starts all over again. This seems staggeringly inefficient. Plus, don’t car starters wear out? To add to my late night anxiety, I’m dreading the day the car won’t restart. What will he do? Does he have a cellphone? Is there someone who can drive out and help him at 3am? Will he wish he’d just thrown the paper out the window without stopping like the old paper delivery people did?

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Wonderin’ If I’ll Sleep

What was going on last night? I woke up at 1am, completely wide awake. I flopped around a little bit. Bob was too asleep to be entertaining. I was so hopelessly awake I finally got up and fiddled on the computer and then read a book. At 3:30am I reasoned I must be tired by now and went back to bed and flopped around for another hour. I woke up at 7am. I don’t understand how I can be so wide awake in the middle of the night.

This morning I finally got around to pinning some pants I need to hem. I always hem my pants a little too short. I don’t do it on purpose and each time I remind myself: don’t hem them too short. Then I hem them and wear a few times and launder and notice, huh, these are kinda short. I’m sure I’ve been the subject of scorn and ridicule numerous times from the Properly Hemmed Pants Patrol.

The other thing is I have super short legs so if I end up with regulars there is tons of fabric in the length and I never cut it. I just fold it all up. I have giant hems in some of my pants.

The pants I worked on this morning must have been made for circus people who wear stilts (and wear dry clean only work slacks for their performances). If I don’t trim it the hem will be close to 7 inches. I’m tempted to leave it but I think I’ll trim this pair. But first I have to make sure they aren’t too short.

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Can’t Even Close My Eyes

My early days of gardening with my Mom.

I’ve woken up at 3am for 27 consecutive days. Is there an award or medal for that? Is it a medical condition? Can I work it into some sort of super power? I was thinking of setting my alarm for 3am to trick myself into not waking up at that time. But then I was afraid I’d wake up at 1am. (Which I also did last night.)

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The Alarm: 68 Guns


A corner of Bob’s office.

Yesterday morning I had to catch an early flight that meant I had to get up before 5am. I have a psychological barrier for waking before 5am. 5am is fine but 4:45a sounds horrific.

I set my regular bedside alarm plus I set my cellphone alarm. Then when I got in bed I wondered why I worry so much about missing an alarm.

I don’t think I’ve ever slept through an alarm in my life.

I’ve never missed a plane or been seriously late to school or work because of oversleeping.

I’ve had a couple of incidents where I set the alarm incorrectly or power went off or something like that but I usually wake up myself with enough time to get wherever I have to be.

I suspect my paranoia about oversleeping keeps me from sleeping at all. I don’t think I put together 3 hours of sleep on Sunday night. I made to the airport just fine. (Goodness there are a lot of people running around at 5:30a.)

I spent the rest of the day in meetings trying to stay awake. My method was to be fidgety. I thought there were some voodoo tricks like pinching your earlobes or biting your pinky but those didn’t help. I’m not a caffeine person but at lunch I ordered the smallest possible Coke they would offer me. The server stared at me, then looked at her pad then looked back at me. “You threw me off for a second,” she said.

Because NO ONE in America orders the smallest Coke. I was afraid if I drank too much caffeine I wouldn’t be able to sleep at night and I didn’t want one of those gallon tumblers where most would be thrown away.

The Coke didn’t help much but since I never drink it, it was a delicious treat.

Shut out the light at 8:45p and slept like the dead. Woke up at 5:00 without an alarm.

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