I remember writing this ages ago but I guess I never posted it. You can tell it’s old because the tulips are long gone.
I had this endless daily writing streak going that finally ended. It started on October 31, 2011 and it ended on March 26.
To be honest, I wasn’t completely happy about the streak. I tend to operate in life with a bunch of rules so that I don’t end up sitting on the couch eating bags of cookies and just passing the time. But I think absolute rules are unhealthy. Things should always be flexible. I don’t like to be lazy but I don’t have to exercise every day. I feel unproductive if I don’t get up early but it’s okay to sleep in sometimes. I prefer to eat healthful things but a day of drinking chai and eating Cadbury eggs is perfectly acceptable. I like to keep my house in order but I have, maybe one time, gone to bed with dirty dishes still in the sink.
So getting back to the streak, I had intended to end it mindfully rather than just deciding one day that I didn’t feel like writing. Except that I was afraid if I ended it, then I would find more excuses for not doing it. Writing has been something of a grind for the past nine months or so and I’ve tried a number of approaches to get back into it which have mostly failed. I felt the streak was the only thing keeping me from abandoning it completely.
Back in March I had a long day at work and my sweetheart was sick so when I got home I made him some dinner I thought he would like. Then I had to watch the US Men’s National Team play Mexico in a World Cup qualifier.
Then I went to bed and when I woke up at 1:30am I realized I’d never done even one little thing. My rules for the streak were pretty relaxed but I hadn’t even fulfilled the very minimum to check off the box. So good. I don’t have to keep track of that any more.