I’m overwhelmed by commerce right now. When I got back from three days offline over the long weekend I had about 30 emails waiting for me. Fourteen were from entities wishing I would buy something. Everyone wants me to buy things. Pendleton wants me to buy embroidered blankets, men’s bathrobes, wool pants. It’s a new thing every single day. Ann Taylor is smothering under the weight of all those sweaters that I should be buying two for the price of one.
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You know those people who wander through Target, slowly pushing their carts aisle by aisle, the whole time jabbering on the phone? I’m not talking about people who are checking up on the shopping list. I’m talking about the people who seem to think that the whole point of Target is to provide a big red cart and mountains of product to look as one talks on the phone.
I think it should be legal for me to punch them in the face. Not only that, I think I should get paid for it. And all the other customers should stand on something and applaud when I walk by.